Destiny
by cathyL
Summary: This is the story of two people desperately in love with each other but deeply insecure. When a misunderstanding occurs they both let their insecurities take over and separate. Eighteen years later a series of events casts a new light on their past and their lives begin to unravel while the whirlwind of exposed secrets and long buried feelings affects everyone around them.
1. Summer storm Ch1 The wind of change

AN: The premises in this story are similar to those in DCOliver's story Never look back.

Ch 1 The wind of change

_Have you ever experienced a true summer storm? When the sky is blue and the sun is shining on a glorious summer day and then a cold wisp of wind caresses your naked skin. It is so easy to ignore that cool touch! It is almost pleasant on your overheated face. But in reality that is a warning, a whisper quickly escalating in intensity as the wind picks up and the storm approaches._

It was a beautiful day in the last week of April, when Ana walked out of the local Bi-LO, her arms loaded with two bags of groceries. There were just three of them at home these days. Emma, her daughter, was still at home and a sophomore in High school. Eddy, her youngest son had left the day before for his last few weeks of undergraduate studies at the University of South Carolina. Her eldest, Nick, was building a career in IT and working for a transport firm in Charleston.

Ana had been living in Rock Hill, Southern Carolina, for a little over eighteen years. She had met Dan towards the end of her first year in Rock Hill. He had brought his son for an evening of reading Christmas stories at the library where she worked. His son, Nick, had been upset by seeing most of the other children with their mothers and Dan had explained that his wife, Nick's mother, had passed away the previous year.

Ana and Dan had started seeing each other mostly out on play dates for their respective sons. It helped that five years old Nick, and her own son, Eddy, then three and a half, got along so well. While the boys played, Dan shared with Ana how Jane, his wife, a policewoman, had been killed while responding to a domestic violence call. He used to be a cop himself, training to become a detective, but after her death he had resigned from the force and started working in a car repair shop and devoting himself to his son. Ana told him about her ex husband cheating on her, signing the divorce papers without even trying to see her or their son and then remarrying and having a child with his new wife.

She and Dan had shared their first dance on the Fourth of July party. The fireworks were rather tame then and most of the celebration took place afterwards, with music and dance at the Lake Pavillion. In the excitement of the dance, their barriers lowered by alcohol and their wounded souls yearning for comfort, their lips had met before their brains could interfere. The brief touch had startled them and their bodies parted of their own accord. Their embrace loosened, they had searched each other's eyes. They both wanted more in their lives than their platonic friendship but the scars left by their previous relationships were holding them back, like anchors that prevent a ship form floating away with the tide.

Ana took the next step: instead of his lips, she kissed his cheek and then settled more comfortably in his embrace. She needed this. She needed the comfort and the protection he offered and she was past the point where she wondered what that said about her. During the following days and weeks they had slowly grown to understand and accept each other's boundaries. They moved in together sixth months later.

Dan was mostly content to let Ana take the lead and Ana poured herself into making a home for them and their two boys. They had both already experienced great love but also loss and heartbreak and they were both grateful for the warmth of companionship that the other provided. Ana become a mother to Nick and Dan a father to Eddy. When Ana found out that she was pregnant, they took it as a sign that they needed to let the past go and make the best of the future.

They got married in December on the anniversary of their first meeting. The civil ceremony was attended by Dan's parents, Ray - her father -, their two boys and one witness for each of them. Later in the evening they had celebrated with a few friends and their immediate neighbours, all gathered in their small living room. After a difficult pregnancy, Emma, their daughter, was born a month early, but both child and mother were eventually sent home with a clean bill of health.

The ghosts of their pasts very rarely intruded on their lives. Once a year all five of them visited Jane's grave, bringing flowers and telling her what had happened during the year. A frown or sometimes the hint of a shadow would mar Dan's features for a second and then he'd pat the head stone once, before leaving the cemetery.

Ana never allowed herself to think of the past. She had spoken about it only twice in almost twenty years. She refused to dwell on the significance of the hint of grey in Eddy's light blue eyes and attributed the copper highlights in his curly brown hair to the years spent in the sun of South Carolina. Any other explanations trying to enter her consciousness were immediately shut down and dismissed.

She settled into her new life as Annabelle Parson or just 'Belle' for those close to her. The years had gone by, mostly peacefully. They had almost lost the house after a major storm when their insurance took too long to agree to the repairs and then only two years later Emma had been run over by a car and had spent several weeks in hospital. They had had to prepare themselves and Emma for the prospect of her losing her right leg when with only days before the scheduled surgery a new specialist child surgeon had joined the staff and had saved her leg. Instead of the boring physical therapy for her leg, Emma had started dancing and, seven year later, she was still dedicating her performances to the brilliant surgeon who had made them possible.

Over the past weekend, listening to Emma and Dan teasing Eddy over his planned JD degree* at Harvard and hearing their carefree laughs, she had felt a sense of peace and accomplishment. Dan was a good man, father and husband - and her best friend. He was going to be 48 later that year and had put on a little weight since he had been promoted and was mostly dealing with paperwork. His hair was now more white than black, his dark brown eyes were still reflecting the gentleness that had first attracted Ana to him. Those eyes had shinned the whole weekend with pride for his son's accomplishments: Eddy had received news that he had been awarded a second scholarship due to his exceptional academic record and had now almost full funding for his first year of study.

Walking towards her car, lost in thought and mostly looking down to avoid tripping and spilling her groceries, the opening door of the car parked next to hers startled her. Getting a firmer grip on the groceries she had almost dropped, she did not pay any attention to the man that was getting out of the car. The glimpse of a man's foot wearing a well-polished black shoe barely registered in her consciousness. She awkwardly placed one bag on the booth and was rummaging through her purse for her car keys when she realized that whoever had exited the car was now silently standing there.

Lifting her eyes from her purse she first noticed the black, well cut, obviously high quality suit and the white shirt with a navy tie. The oddity of his expensive attire in the Bi Lo parking lot was her only warning before her eyes reached his face and she froze in stunned recognition.

"Mrs Parson."

Like his face, his voice and the use of her last name as a form of greeting were instantly familiar. The name however, coming from this man, felt wrong. Unbidden her mind supplied a different name.

"No", she said, "You can't be here. You don't belong here." Her reply was meant as much for him as for the tidal wave of memories and feelings surging inside her mind, trying to break through carefully and painstakingly constructed barriers.

"I'm sorry. I realize this must be a shock. I could not think of any other way to approach you and keep this meeting private." Said the man, his voice clam, the words evenly spaced.

The implications of this man's presence in this particular place were so profound and the ramifications so far reaching, that her mind threatened to shut down. Her whole body went numb. She could no longer feel the hurt in her feet from the high heels she had worn since the morning; all the sounds became muffled and replaced by the roar of blood rushing through her ears, her slackened arms were about to drop their cargo and her weakened knees were no longer able to support her weight. With well-honed reflexes the man caught her with one arm around her waist.

The man was saying something, but all she could do was shake her head uncomprehendingly. She could offer no resistance when he gently freed the one grocery bag and placed it on the ground. This could not be happening.

"Mrs Parson" the man repeated, "you should sit down".

As he was speaking he steered her towards the passenger seat of her car, opened the door and helped her into the well-worn seat. He then handed her back the car keys and crouched down to bring his face level with her eyes.

"I am sorry to have startled you. "

Her eyes wide open and darting from his face, to his body, then to the parking lot surrounding them, she was desperately trying to make sense of his words and of his presence on that day in that particular place. Compassion and concern were obvious on the man's face, and she appealed to those feelings, this time pleading: "Please Luke, please. Just turn around and walk away."

"I think we both know that I can't do that." he replied in a sad, quiet tone

She knew he was right, but had to try just one more time. Barely above a whisper she begged, "He doesn't have to know"

"He knows. He has known for some time. He won't interfere. This is why I am here, to reassure you that he will not interfere."

Her brow creased and her eyes focused on him instead of darting around.

"I have a letter for you" he continued, carefully observing her reaction to his words. "When you have read it, if you have any questions I will do my best to answer them."

"He sent you across the country to give me a letter?"

Relieved that she seemed to be regaining some of her stability he answered with just a hint of embarrassment:

"As you have returned his previous letters unopened, he thought it would be best if I hand-delivered this one and explained its purpose. "

She shook her head: "What letters? I have never received any letters from…him."

The slight pause and the use of the pronoun confirmed for Luke Sawyer that she was not willing to say or hear the name. But it was his turn to be confused. Perhaps she had forgotten, it was so long ago and during what was certainly a very difficult and emotional time. For a second or two he considered whether he should try and be more specific. She was however just recovering from the shock of their sudden encounter and was clearly an unwilling participant in this encounter. He decided to get to the point as quickly as he could: "If you give me a second I have the letter in the car."

He rose from his crouching position and reached inside his car to retrieve a leather manila folder and a white envelope. When he turned to offer her the two objects, she made no attempt to take them from him. Instead she repeated her previous question:

"What letters?"

Sawyer took a deep breath and slowly released it.

"It was a long time ago. Perhaps..." He didn't finish his sentence. He had personally cleared the packet that had been left at the reception at Escala. He had handed it himself to his employer and had witnessed the devastation in the man's face when the unopened letters, the two rings and the credit cards had spilled out of the larger envelope. Now looking at the uncomprehending woman in front of him, Sawyer considered the possibility that she had never been given the chance to read what Christian had to say. His heart rate increasing, he spoke slowly, careful to not allow his unease show:

"I am not sure what happened with the other letters. As I said, it was a long time ago. Will you take this one? Take some time to read it. When you do, if you have questions, or an answer, I will be at the TownePlace."

It was obvious to Ana that he was dodging the question and she considered whether or not to press for an answer. Did she want to know? Did it matter? She looked at the objects in his hand. Knowing where they came from, she could not bring herself to touch them. She needed time to think. With a slight movement of her head she indicated the glove compartment.

Sawyer placed the folder and the letter inside.

"Would you please allow me to drive you home? Or would you like to call somebody to take you?"

Dan was at work and she had no idea what and how she would tell him about this meeting. She needed time to compose herself and think about what to do with the objects now resting in the glove compartment of her car. Sawyer was right; she was in no state to drive. She looked at her hand clutching the car keys. She lifted her hand and offered them on her outstretched palm.

When the man who had driven her around so many times sat in the driver seat beside her and started the engine, it didn't even cross her mind that he might need directions to her house.

Seated in the passenger seat while he expertly maneuvered the Chevrolet out of the parking lot, one question stood out in Ana's mind: "How did you find us?"

Sawyer shook his head, "I didn't." Part of his mind was preoccupied with the realization that some things might not have been what they seemed all those years ago and he mechanically continued: "Everything I tried ended in a dead end. When I had gone over every possibility twice and not made an inch of progress, I… gave up."

Frowning, Ana turned to look at his face, "I meant you as in the security team. But you looked for us yourself?"

"Yes, I did."

"So who found us?"

Only looking at the empty stretch of road in front of him, Sawyer replied: "As I said before, he has known where you were for some time." Choosing his words carefully, he continued, "I really don't know who found you or how. When I failed to do so myself, I resigned and I left Seattle for a few years. When I returned he had already obtained the information"

"And you were not curious to find out how?"

"I admit that I was. But it seems that it was not through the security team. Nothing about you goes via the team."

Ana probed further: "So you looked for us, failed, and then left Seattle for a few years?"

Sawyer nodded hesitantly and answered, "Yes."

"How long have you been back in Seattle?"

Luke Sawyer had always respected Ana's intelligence and had often disagreed with Taylor and Grey when they had tried to keep things from her. She was too smart to not notice the missing pieces. He was going to have to tell her more than he had intended. He was trying to figure out how his answer will affect her perception of their current predicament when Ana interrupted his musings with a different question:

"Once you have taken me home, how will you get back to your car?"

Surprised at the sudden change of topic Sawyer explained: "Someone will pick me up. I'll have to call them."

"Then can you please stop the car?" In a carefully neutral tone she explained: "I'm sure you have better things to do than to dodge my questions."

When he signalled before pulling to the side of the road, Ana was not sure whether she was relieved or afraid that he was going to go rather than answer her question. Surprising her, he did not immediately get out of the car and instead explained: "I am only trying to protect your peace of mind."

At the look of stubborn determination on her face he quickly added: "I know you have heard this before and I often thought that it was wrong to keep things from you, but this is one of the few times when I really think that you will be better off not knowing."

She looked at him and tried to read the expression on his face, in his eyes. His familiar traits oozed sincerity. For a moment she got lost looking at the fine wrinkles marring the skin she remembered as toned and fresh. His hair was liberally sprinkled with white and the intense stare she remembered from their shared past was somewhat mellowed. Despite the changes brought by the passage of time, this was he, her CPO, the man who was charged with keeping her safe. She did not doubt that he was sincere, but she had never been able to accept being kept in the dark. And she could not accept remaining ignorant when her current life was under attack from her past. Slowly, deliberately, she repeated her question: "How long have you been back in Seattle, Luke?"

"Eleven years."

Some powerful emotion was trying to break through Ana's mental barriers; the effort to contain it evident in the sudden tension of her muscles. Not nearly ready to acknowledge this new onslaught on her feelings, she hung to whatever logic she could muster: "He has known where we are for more than eleven years? How much longer?"

"I can't be certain, but I think about five years longer."

"Why… what makes you think that?"

Ana expected Sawyer to once again try to avoid answering her question. When instead of filling with tension his shoulders stooped, his head bent forward and his eyelids closed for a second, she knew she was going to get an answer. Her heart started hammering against her chest. She forgot to breathe. She could see his lips move, but the words took a couple of heartbeats to register:

"There are pictures in his office: in one of them T…Eddy looks about five years old."

Her eyes widened: "Pictures? "What kind of pictures?"

"Birthdays, Fourth of July, New Year's Eve, some school plays and sport events…

Barely able to speak she whispered, horrified: "He has somebody taking pictures of Eddy?"

Realizing his mistake Sawyer rushed to explain: "No, no. All the pictures are from his camera and his phone, I am quite certain he takes them himself."

He could not determine if his words had reassured her or further upset her, so he kept watching her, waiting for a reaction. Quite a few emotions seemed to battle for dominance in her eyes. Eventually disbelief won, and she asked: "He comes to Rock Hill and takes pictures of Eddy?"

When Sawyer only nodded she blindly reached behind her to open the car door and stumbled out, rambling: "Pictures. He has pictures. Of course the stalking control freak would have pictures."

Hands on her hips, blue eyes blazing, the curls of her short dark brown hair in disarray, she whirled around to face Sawyer who had also hurriedly exited the car. Raising her voice, perhaps at him, perhaps at some far away deity, she shouted, "He abandoned us! He signed off on us! He never tried to see his son or talk to him or be near him! But he has pictures in his office? Why the _hell _does he have pictures of him in his office?"

Of course this is exactly the question he had feared the most. During her rant he had become convinced that Ana and Christian had been lied to and somehow manipulated away from each other. He knew he could not be part of that lie. At the same time he was aware that his next words might also affect Christian and Ana's future interaction, and he didn't want that responsibility. He had to end this session of questions and answers. With these considerations in mind he replied: "When I went to his office, the first day back at Grey House, I couldn't hide my surprise at the pictures on the wall. He noticed what I was looking at and informed me that unless there was a serious security threat involved, 'The subject is off the table'."

It didn't take a leap of faith for Ana to believe this last statement. She knew the determination of the man Sawyer had quoted, the finality of his decisions. She lowered herself to the grass and sat at the side of the road, allowing the rush of adrenaline to subside. She shivered despite the heat, as if a gust of cold wind had swept over her.

Like most of us would, she misinterpreted the warning. She looked up at the blue sky and then just sat in the grass, waiting for her heartbeat to slow down and for her breathing to become less shallow, allowing her emotions to lose some of their intensity. Foolishly she believed that if she could remain calm she could control the outcome.

Finally raising her head and looking around her she commented: "I should get home."

When she didn't move, Sawyer took a step towards her and offered his hand to help her up.

AN: JD Juris Doctor, graduate degree, minimum requirement to practice law in the US


	2. Summer storm Ch2 The clouds gather

**AN: Notbuyingit has been kind enough to leave a review explaining her thoughts: "Adding a new character or changing a character's name does not an original story make!" I couldn't agree more. But that statement assumes that the characters in the two stories are the same. They aren't. Just because Ana has a husband and three children in both stories it doesn't mean that they will have the same personalities, behave the same or even deal with the same problems. The back story as to how come Ana and Christian ended up they way they did is different and it creates, I think, a different dynamic for all the characters involved. The truth will come to light in a different way and how everybody deals with it is different. This is why I believe this is a different story, simply starting in similar, but not identical, circumstances, with quite a few more characters from FSOG and a few of my own.**

** Guest (my first ever review, yay!): there are many reasons why somebody doesn't like a story. Depending on why you didn't like the other one, perhaps you'll like this one more.**

** To all of you who have taken the time to leave a review, pm me, press the "follow" button or just read the story, thank you from the bottom of my heart!**

**All FSOG characters belong to E.L James. Ana and Christian's circumstances at the start of this story are similar to the ones in DCOliver's story Never look Back**

Ch 2 The clouds are gathering

Back in the car she was still lost in her own thoughts. Nothing made sense and the man besides her did not have the answers she needed. They were both pawns in somebody else's chess game. Trying to restore some semblance of normalcy she once again spoke: "I see you are married", she said with a nod towards the wedding band on his left hand.

A little surprised, but also relieved that the conversation was going in a different direction, he replied with a small smile: "Yes I am. Diana swept me off my feet, literally, and we were married within six months."

For the first time since their meeting, Ana had a smile on her face when she asked: "She **literally **swept you off your feet? As in a fight?"

"Well, I** was** distracted," he answered with a smile of his own at what was obviously a fond memory. "But Diana could certainly hold her own in a fight. Her father is ex-military and she was raised around army bases all over the country."

"Is she in security too?"

"Diana? No. She has seen too many of her father's friends injured… or worse. She was not very happy with my line of work, so she was thrilled when I applied for this position."

Ana frowned: "This position? But you are still security?"

With a quick glance towards his passenger, he replied with a hint of hesitation in his voice, "Yes, but I work mainly in the office."

Before Ana's rational mind could stop it, the green-eyed monster within her blurted out, "So you are not **her** CPO?"

Sawyer's hands tightened on the wheel as he was mentally kicking himself for bringing the conversation back to his duties with Grey. In a feeble attempt to restore the lighter mood he joked, "A man my age lurking all day around a school might have given the wrong impression."

"A school? Why a…" Ana didn't finish the sentence. She knew Christian's wife had been pregnant. She had overheard a conversation between her father and Kate about the marriage and the bride being heavily pregnant, 'weeks from giving birth'. She had filed that information, the ultimate proof that her husband had cheated on her, in the same deep place where she had buried the rest of her feelings and she had never expanded on it. So she had never reached the logical conclusion: that the pregnancy had resulted in a child. He had a daughter. Very fleetingly, she wondered how many children he had. It was after all the main object of contention between them, his desire to have another child pitted against her wish to give her career a fair chance.

With her house now in sight, Ana found the strength to finish her sentence: "I meant his wife, but you don't have to answer. It's none of my business."

Sawyer could hear the hurt in her voice. After the turmoil he had brought into her life, perhaps he could give her this little piece of reassurance. "He is not married", he said while turning his head to the right to have better view of the narrow driveway in front of her house.

That was how he happened to witness the small flicker of relief on her face. It didn't make him think any less of her. The brief moment of satisfaction did not make her a bad person, just human. But her next reaction proved to him, yet again, that the female brain was a mystery and men would be well advised to not try and decipher its intricacies, less they live to suffer the consequences. Because if the satisfaction was fleeting and superficial, the anger suddenly replacing it made him feel relieved that they had reached their destination and he could exit the confines of the car before the imminent explosion.

"Is that why he sent you? His marriage failed and we are plan B? Does his arrogance know no bounds? Wait, don't answer that."

Mesmerized, Sawyer watched her get out of the car. Fury had by now replaced the anger.

"You can take back his letter and his legal documents and his… his… whatever else he sent you here for. Tell him Anabelle Parson has nothing to do with him, or you, or all that… bullshit."

With that she banged the car door shut and took two strides towards the back of the car, almost ripping her tight skirt in her effort to take longer steps that her clothes allowed.

Luke was still frozen in place, wondering what the hell had just happened. He knew he could not leave things like this. Panicked at how rapidly and completely the situation had deteriorated, he rushed to do some damage control. Reaching the back of the car at the same time as her, he took hold of both her arms.

"Ana, the divorce was many years ago! The marriage only lasted for a few months."

A still seething Ana took a step back from him, "My name is Annabelle Parson."

For a few seconds they just stood there, glaring at each other. Sawyer gave in with a nod of his head and let go of her arms: "Mrs Parson."

Ana punched the button on the trunk with more force than necessary. The white envelope and the manila folder in the glove compartment could not be ignored. She knew that if her ex had taken the trouble to have them hand delivered, he would not relent until he was certain that she had read the contents. But he was not here. This was her home and she was not alone. She no longer had Ray to protect her, but she did have a husband and she trusted him. They had shared difficult times and crises before, and had weathered them out together. A little calmer she informed the man standing beside her: "I'll discuss the letter with my husband. Have you been told to wait for a reply?"

"No Ma'am. Just to make myself available in case you have any questions." Afraid he will not have another opportunity, Sawyer reached for his wallet and quickly handed her a business card.

Ana took the card and placed it on top of the groceries before lifting the brown paper bag. Impatient to get to the safety of her home, she ignored the pang of guilt at her lack of civility when she dismissed him with: "Very well, you don't have to linger around here. I'll call if I think of something."

Arms full of groceries, she then turned around and walked away.

Inside the house, with her back against the wooden door, Ana found herself in the family room. Her eyes took in the couches with the colourful throws and pillows, the low table with the varnish long gone and replaced with the easier-to-maintain wood polish, the stack of books on the small table by her armchair and the flowers sitting between the white curtains that only partly covered the two windows. She was home. Her breathing slowed down at the familiar sight.

She kicked off her shoes and took one long deep breath. Slowly releasing it, she crossed the room and entered the kitchen. She dumped the bags on the countertop and placed her hands on the solid surface to still their trembling. When she finally started unpacking, the familiar activity did not require much thought, which left her mind free to try and make sense of whatever it was that had just happened.

They had been found. On the other side of the wooden door, locked away in the glove compartment of her car, was a letter from the man whose very existence she had spent half her life trying to ignore. If he had made the effort to write to her, he wanted something, and she knew, like she knew the sun would rise the following morning, that he was going to get, or take, whatever it was that he wanted. The only thing she had a semblance of control over was how and when to break the news to Dan. She decided to tell him about the letter tonight and let him read it first. Ignoring the small voice in her head whispering, "Coward," she focused instead on her next task: dinner.

With a look at the clock on the wall, she realised Emma was almost thirty minutes late. Ana was just about to check her phone for any missed messages when the front door opened and closed with a thud.

"Mom?"

"In the kitchen!"

Emma Parson half walked, half sprinted through the kitchen door. Her jet-black hair was in a tight ponytail and her student ID was swinging over her blue shirt.

"Mom? Are you alright?"

"Yes, why?"

"Your car is in the driveway and you have left your shoes by the door."

"Oh, I was just in a hurry," Ana said as she came around the kitchen island to embrace the tall, lanky teenager. "You are a bit late."

"I know, sorry. Can we talk about it later? It's nothing bad, I swear. What's for dinner? I'm starving!"

Smiling at her daughter's rapid-fire speech, Ana replied, "OK. Go get changed and you can tell me while you help with the food."

"Mooom!" Emma groaned.

"C'mon Emma, your dad's going to be home soon and I'm running late."

"OK. OK." said Emma, her easy going personality winning over the teenage rebellion.

Ana smiled while listening to her daughter thunder up the stairs and took out the ingredients for the evening meal.

The water for the corncobs had just started boiling when she heard Emma running down the stairs. That girl hardly ever walked anywhere! Ana's personal whirlwind reappeared in the kitchen and came to an abrupt stop in front of the counter. Sitting down on one of the breakfast chairs, she put her elbows on the counter and propped her face between her hands.

"So how come you were late? With you being the boss and all can't you just leave any time you want?" Emma asked.

Ana's recent promotion to head of the library had been a source of merciless teasing from her children and her husband. Rolling her eyes she countered: "Oh no, you don't. Come, you can help with the salad."

When Emma moved over to the sink to wash the vegetables, Ana continued: "So where were you?"

With a small sigh and an eye roll of her own, Emma said: "Mandy was having a meltdown. She has been seeing this guy, Jake, and her mom isn't too happy about it, and now Jenny has threatened to tell her parents she was with him over Spring break, and not with us, like she'd told them."

When Emma had to stop for breath, Ana asked: "Mandy has been lying to her parents and you are helping her?"

"It's not like that! Well it is, but it has nothing to do with Jake. He really is a nice guy. Mandy's mom just doesn't like his parents, and it's not fair to take it out on him, and Jake and Mandy are just so cute together! Jenny had no right to say that to Mandy. I told her that, and now she's not answering my texts."

Ana listened mostly amused at the teenage drama.

"Still Emma, that's between Mandy and her parents. I don't think you should get involved."

"Well then Jenny should stay out of it as well."

"Emma!" Ana warned, and with a second thought, she asked, "How old is Jake?"

When Emma didn't answer, Ana stopped stirring the gravy to look at her daughter, who seemed to be paying much more attention than required to the mundane job of mixing the vegetables in the salad bowl. "Emma?"

"He's a little older than us, but it doesn't mean anything. It's not like they are… you know or anything. A lot of the girls have older boyfriends, you know."

Now concerned, Ana switched off the gas. "How much older?"

With another exaggerated sigh, Emma answered, "He just turned nineteen. He's an apprentice on some construction site. His sister is at USC and knows Eddy. That's how they met, when we went to the movies with Eddy and Nick. Eddy stopped to say hello to his sister and Jake was with her and he and Mandy just clicked."

Ana remembered the evening during Spring break when Emma had brought Mandy and Jenny for an evening out on the town. Mandy had had a crush on Eddy since Emma had first brought her home four years earlier, and Jenny, Ana suspected, just liked the idea of being around older boys. Well, at least Mandy was over her crush. Lost in her own thoughts, she didn't quite catch the end of Emma's tirade.

"Sorry, can you say that again?"

Laughing, Emma said, "I'm serious. It's like all of a sudden he got his mojo back or something."

"Wait, wait, who are you talking about?"

"Nick and Jake's sister!"

"Nick was talking to her?" Ana asked surprised.

Nick was a pretty average looking guy. He had inherited his father's stocky build and that had only been accentuated by the years of jujitsu training. With his bushy eyebrows and small eyes, only his full mouth bellied the initial impression of a rather foreboding presence. But he was a real charmer and therefore very popular with the girls. In his second year in college, he had had his first serious relationship, and when that ended rather badly, he had just stopped even acknowledging the presence of any young woman.

Whatever she was going to say next was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing followed by Dan's voice: "Belle?"

"In the kitchen!"

Dan appeared at the entrance to the kitchen just a couple of seconds later. "Is everything all right?" he asked, taking in the sight of his wife and daughter preparing dinner.

Smiling, Ana left her place by the stove to go and greet him. "Yes, I'm fine, just a little late."

With a hand on her lower back, Dan gave her a kiss on the offered cheek. "OK, I'll go change."

When Dan left the kitchen, Ana instructed Emma to set the table while she put the steaks under the grill. A few minutes later Dan reappeared and they all sat at the kitchen table. Dan shared with them that the company owner had plans on possibly opening a second shop, this time in Charlotte.

"Really," Dan was saying, "When you look at it, I wonder why we didn't think about it ourselves."

"Oh, so whose idea was it?"

"Charlie's," Dan said, looking curiously at his wife.

Shaking her head a little and hopping he will understand she did not want to talk in front of Emma, Ana tried to move the conversation away from herself and back to the subject of Dan's work. "Well, maybe it's a good thing then that Marty is letting his son get more involved in running things."

"I'm still not sure about it. There's something about that lad that doesn't sit right with me," Dan said, getting his wife's message.

"Mom, Dad," Emma said, "Since I have my restricted license now, maybe we can start looking for a car."

Dan and Ana looked at each other. This was one of the few subjects on which they have struggled to reach an agreement. Dan chose to say nothing and instead let Ana reply: "Emma, I'm still not too sure about you driving alone. You drive well, but you get distracted, and if you are going to have friends in the car I'm afraid it will be too much."

"Mom, c'mon!"

"Belle," Dan interjected before mother and daughter entered another heated discussion on this subject, "How about this: Emma is allowed to drive alone, but one of us follows her in our own car for the first few times."

Looking at their two hopeful faces, Ana sighed, "Let me think about this. This weekend is Eddy's birthday, but perhaps next week we could go for a drive and see how it goes."

"Yes! Thank you! You'll see I can concentrate, I promise." Emma stood from the table taking her plate and glass to the dishwasher. Ana was still shaking her head when Emma informed them, "Well, I have some homework to do," and left the two adults at the kitchen table.

Bemused Dan asked "Homework?"

"Mandy and Jenny," explained Ana.

Together they started tiding up the kitchen. When they were done, Dan stopped Ana from leaving the kitchen by gently holding her arm. "Belle, what's wrong?"

Finding herself comforted by his mere presence, Ana managed a small smile: "Let me change and then we can talk."

When Ana emerged from their bedroom, she had changed in a pair of comfortable trousers, flat shoes and a loose t-shirt, to find Dan patiently waiting in the family room. The faint sound of music emanating from upstairs indicated their conversation would be private. Ana stopped in the kitchen first and dropped a few ice cubes in two glasses. Setting them on the table in front of the couch, she explained: "I think we are going to need something to drink before the end of the night."

Until this moment Dan was mostly curious as to what had upset his wife. The suggestion that they might need a drink was, however, so unusual that he started getting worried. She had said that she was late…his eyes widened: "You're pregnant?"

"What?"

"Well you said you were late and you are behaving a little strange so I…" Dan shrugged instead of finishing the sentence.

Finding it a little funny that that was the first thing he thought of, Ana shook her head: "From work, I was late coming from work. I'm not pregnant!"

Relieved, Dan reached for the bottle of whiskey and poured just enough to cover the ice in each glass.

Taking a sip of her drink, Ana allowed it to burn her tongue and throat, and for a split second considered just downing the whole content. Instead she carefully placed the glass back on the table. She raised her head, but didn't meet Dan's eyes, when she told him: "I have received a letter from… my ex."

The colour draining from his face, Dan asked: "Here, he sent you a letter here?"

At Ana's slight nod he immediately stood up, adrenaline surging. Gone was the middle-aged office manager, instantly replaced by the former policeman. "Did you call the feds? Kate? God, did you call Eddy?"

The bewildered expression on his wife's face reminded him that she was not aware that her father had shared her secret with him. Taking one step closer to Ana he crouched in front of her and taking both her hands in his he explained: "I know everything, Belle. Ray told me. He knew he shouldn't have but he thought I needed to be able to protect you and Eddy if this ever happened. So he told me about the WPP and about Kate."

"The what?" Ana asked, still uncomprehending.

"The Witness Protection Programme."

Shaking her head Ana looked at her husband: "Dan, what are you talking about? What…wait, my dad told you we are in the Witness Protection Programme?"

Dan nodded: "Yes, he did. He also told me about Kate, that she is an undercover FBI agent acting as your friend. He knew he was breaking the rules but he trusted me. Please don't be mad at him…or at me for not telling you that I knew. Now, have you contacted Kate?"

Vaguely aware of the pressure his hands exerted on hers she once again felt her head spinning and her reality tilting. She gently tugged on his hands encouraging him to rise and sit next to her instead. Looking him straight in the eye and putting as much conviction in her voice as she could, she said: "Dan, Eddy and I are not under any Witness Protection Programme. We did change our names and dad arranged for it, but we are not under federal protection, or surveillance or anything like that."

Dan looked at her, silent for several seconds. "I don't understand. Why would Ray make this up?"

Ana was pondering the same question. Thinking back to the early days when she first met Dan she remembered how uneasy she was with her new identity, how afraid that she would slip and reveal the fact that they were living under borrowed names. She remembered how increasingly relieved she had felt when Dan didn't pry. Tilting her head she asked: "Is this why you never asked me any details? Because of Ray's explanation?"

Comprehension dawning, Dan nodded. They just sat starring at each other, the silence becoming oppressing. Looking at their hands still entwined Dan recovered first: "If you are not under WPP then why change your names, why hide?"

**AN Next chapter: the letter**


	3. Ch 3 The quiet before the storm

**Again thank you to all of you wonderful people who have taken the time to read so far, favorited and reviewed this little folly of mine. **

**Here comes the letter. Please bear in mind that CG and Ana have been apart for 18 years. All CG knows of her is that she is married and happy with another man. **

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back**

Ch 3 The quiet before the storm

"After the divorce I… just wanted to get away." Forced to dwell on painful memories, the strain obvious in her voice, Ana continued: "I didn't want to see anybody anymore; none of them had tried to contact me. Family, friends, work… after I left him not one of them tried to get in touch. Dad and Kate were convinced he would come to his senses and try to get me back or at least get T… Eddy back, so they came up with the name change and the move."

Dan could see the sincerity in her eyes and hear it in her voice, but he was still confused. "When Ray told me about the WPP, he wouldn't tell me what your ex had done, or who he was. He said the new identities were because you knew too much and you would be in danger if he ever found you. But you were never in danger, were you? He's not a criminal or a fugitive?"

Ashamed on behalf of her father, Ana shook her head: "No, he isn't."

"He's just a regular guy?"

With a deep breath, still reluctant to talk about the details of her first marriage she explained: "He is a businessman, runs his own company."

"OK", Dan said, thinking aloud. "I can understand the name change and the move, even if they do seem quite extreme, but why the secrecy? You don't dare meet your mother without elaborate plans. You never visit each other and she didn't come to our wedding. Would it not have been enough to just ask her not to tell anybody about your name change?"

"If anybody was going to look for us, my mother was an obvious place to start. Dad knew what he was doing and he had coached Kate. Mum was never very good at following instructions." With sadness in her voice, Ana continued: "I had told her about meeting you, and then when I told her that I was pregnant and we were getting married she… berated me about using birth control and how I have ruined my life. I never invited her to the wedding."

Dan had met Carla a handful of times through the years and the relationship had always been strained, to put it mildly. He had thought that the awkwardness was due to the fear of breaching the rules of the WPP. As he begun to realize just how many aspect of their life he had accepted or explained based on what he now knew was untrue, he found himself desperately needing reassurance on at least one thing. The words rushed out of his mouth as soon as the question had formed in his mind: "But the divorce and the termination of parental rights are real?"

"Yes, the divorce is real, but we never discussed custody. He never contacted me."

"Belle, you changed your name and Eddy's and disappeared before you agreed on custody?"

Unsettled by his tone, Ana confirmed: "Yes. I told you: he was not interested, he didn't care."

Removing his hands from hers, Dan stood and looked down at his still seated wife, incredulity and fear added to his previous tension. He started pacing, but the limited space in their family room forced him to turn after only three steps. Once again facing her he said: "You were upset and emotional, I can understand that. I don't know yet what Kate's deal is. But Ray was a former cop. There's no way in hell he didn't know exactly what he was doing."

"Dan, what are you talking about?"

Having paced right back, Dan stopped directly in front of her: "What I'm talking about, Belle, is the fact that the three of you have effectively kidnapped Eddy." Sitting down again, he reached for the whiskey glass and downed half the content. He patiently explained: "You have taken Eddy across the state line, without his father's consent, and took measures to hide the child from his father. You had every intention to keep him away permanently. There is no way this can be seen as anything else than kidnapping."

"But I didn't mean to! I mean, I didn't think it mattered!" Finally starting to grasp the implications of what Dan had pointed out, Ana continued, her eyes wide, her voice barely above a whisper: "I have committed a crime? I could go to prison? What if the father knew where we were? Would that make a difference?"

Beginning to feel weary of the far-reaching implications of these revelations, Dan admitted: "I don't know, Belle." Frowning he asked: "You said he sent you a letter? What does it say?"

Ana shook her head. "I don't know. I wanted you to read it."

"Where is it?"

"In the glove compartment in my car. A white envelope." Realization hitting her, she closed her eyes before continuing: "And a manila folder."

Without saying another word Dan stood and went to the front door. Left alone, her eyes still closed, Ana thought that she finally understood how a person on trial feels while waiting for the verdict. Dan's voice calling her name brought her attention back into the family room. She opened her eyes to see him seated at the other end of the couch, the folder and the letter placed on the table.

In a quiet, but steady voice, she asked him: "Can you read it please? I don't think I can."

Dan picked up the envelope with the single word 'Ana' handwritten on one side. The cop in him made a note that there was no address. The husband wondered what the name was short for. With a slight hesitation, he opened the letter and felt a small glimmer of hope when he extracted two neatly handwritten pages. Wondering who in this day and age would take the time to write by hand, he recognized that this made the content personal, rather than official. He cleared his throat and with one more look at his wife, he began reading:

_Dear Ana,_

_Forgive this intrusion into your life. _

_I note that next month is Teddy's twenty-first birthday and his graduation. _

_I have been asked to deliver the commencement address at __the University of South Carolina Honors College this year. __I will take this opportunity to shake his hand and congratulate him on his achievements.__I assume that he is unaware of my identity and I want to reassure you that I don't intend to make myself known to him. _

_In preparation for this occasion, I have taken steps to ensure that as much of our shared history as possible has been removed from the Internet and I have declined to be interviewed for the student newspaper._

_As per our agreement Teddy is due to gain access to part of his trust fund on his twenty-first birthday. I have made arrangements for the first cheque and a brief explanatory note to be delivered to him the Monday after graduation. Considering the circumstances, I have removed our names from all the documents and rendered the source of the fund anonymous. A copy of the updated documents is enclosed in the folder that accompanies this letter._

_I have also included the deeds for the house and GP. These were in your name and are therefore your property. I can continue to ensure they are well looked after, or I can relinquish their care to you – should you wish._

_Let me know._

_Christian_

By the time Dan finished reading, he realized most of the letter did not make much sense to him. He had mentally prepared himself for harsh words, perhaps even threats, from a wronged father. But nothing in the letter was even hinting at that. It didn't even mention the parental relationship. He began to understand what Belle had meant by "he was not interested". Was Eddy even the same as the Teddy mentioned in the letter? Scanning the pages for any clues he might have missed and not finding any, for a brief moment he hoped that this was a mistake.

He raised his eyes to ask the question only to be confronted by the sight of his wife curled up at the other end of the couch, legs bent to one side, arms hugging her body, eyes closed, and tears streaming down her face. "Belle?"

At the sound of her name, she turned her head and body towards the back of the couch. The silent tears were replaced by quiet sobs shaking her shoulders.

Like most men confronted with a sobbing woman, Dan was instantly out of his element. His years of marriage didn't provide much in terms of past experience. The only other time he could recall seeing Belle this upset was when her father had passed away. Hesitantly, he went to her and placed a hand on her trembling shoulders.

"Hey, this is not so bad. He doesn't sound angry."

Ana nodded once and barely managed to speak between sobs: "He had no right to do this. He had no right to write this to me. He did this on purpose."

"What did he do on purpose?"

Catching her breath in big gulps of air, Ana turned her head towards him and waved her hand in the general direction of the now discarded letter: "He said the same things… he… we had a… fight, before we were married. He wrote me an email. He used the same words."

"He wrote you an email over twenty years ago and you both remember the exact words?"

Wide-eyed, Ana stared at him and then closed her eyes, refusing to acknowledge the implications of the answer lurking in her mind. She took a deep breath and when she opened them again she found herself looking at the untouched manila folder. When he had written that email, so long ago, he had wanted her back. And he always got what he wanted.

"Oh, Dan, what are we going to do?"

"Maybe if I understood this better… Can I ask you a few questions?"

When Ana nodded, he was instantly overwhelmed by the multitude of things that he wanted to know. He picked up the letter. "He calls you Ana and Teddy is Eddy?"

"Yes. Dad thought it would be easier if our new names were similar to the old ones. Eddy was two and a half; it would have been too confusing to have a completely different name."

Not sure how to formulate his next question and trying to avoid sounding like he was conducting an interrogation, Dan stated rather than asked: "He mentions a trust fund."

"He set it up when T… Eddy was born," Ana said with an apologetic look at the slip up on their son's name.

When Dan didn't say anything, she reached for the folder and opened it to reveal several bound documents. Picking up the first one, she looked at her husband. "We can read this together."

Dan's hesitation lasted less than a second. Belle was his wife and Eddy was his son. Whatever this Christian wanted with them concerned him as well. He moved closer and, with their shoulders touching, they both read the summary on the cover page:

The terms and conditions stated in this trust fund are such that on the first Monday after obtaining an undergraduate degree, Mr Edward Parson will be presented with a cheque for $10,000 and a letter explaining the existence of an anonymous trust fund set in his name with the following terms:

He will receive a cheque for $10,000 every month until his thirtieth birthday.

The Monday following his thirtieth birthday he will gain access to the full $10,000,000 dollars subject to the conditions detailed in paragraphs 6-9.

The typed words were followed by three written lines in the same neat handwriting as the letter:

_I have prepared similar documents for the next two stages of his trust fund. Perhaps this is a good place to remind you that Teddy is the sole heir to my company._

Ana leaned against the couch, let her head fall on the backrest, and starred at the ceiling, while Dan was re-reading the words. Several seconds ticked by before he cleared his throat and asked: "The next two stages?"

In a monotone voice as if reciting the alphabet or the multiplication table, Ana said: "One hundred million when he turns forty and a billion another ten years later. He would be fifty, it wouldn't really matter anymore. It was a compromise. "

"A billion dollars?"

"Yep."

"Eddy has a trust fund of one billion dollars and is due to inherit a company?"

"His company, yes."

Ana lifted her head from the backrest and reached for her barely touched whiskey. This time she downed the content before putting the empty glass down again.

"Who exactly is he, Eddy's father?" asked Dan, the determination in his voice leaving no room for further vague answers from her.

"Grey Enterprises and Holdings, GEH. He owns the company."

Speechless, Dan simply starred at her. When he found his voice again it was full of incredulity.

"GEH, that's one of the biggest companies in the country. Eddy is the heir to the company? I remember you telling me he had remarried and had children."

"He did. His wife was pregnant." Pausing as tears were once again threatening, she remembered the misunderstanding with Sawyer when she had asked about 'her'. "A daughter, I think."

Dan could see her eyes glistening in the soft light and heard the pain in her voice. His heart went to her at the same time as his mind was reeling under all the information. The reasons for which he had previously refrained from asking about her past no longer existed and with that past now invading their lives, coupled with the anger he felt at having been duped, meant that he suddenly had a burning need to know. Rationally he knew that it wasn't Belle that had lied to him but emotionally he couldn't help the feeling of insecurity and mistrust. He needed to know the truth; he needed the details in order to accept it.

"Belle, I can see that this is hard for you to talk about, but I need to know. Eddy is my son."

"Of course he is", Ana replied in a gentle voice. "You were there for him. You taught him how to ride a bike; you wiped his tears, read him stories, helped him with his homework, talked to him about girls and taught him how to drive. No one will ever be able to take that from you. No amount of money will replace that. Eddy loves you. He looks up to you. You are his dad."

Touched by her words, Dan knew they were sincere and allowed them to soothe him. This was his Belle, a beautiful woman inside as well as outside. Smart, caring, hardworking, she was his friend and his partner. He reached out and put an arm around her shoulders. "Thank you, I think I needed to hear that." He decided his questions could wait a little longer. "Shall we go through the rest of this?"

Ana nodded. Dan picked up the next set of papers. This time the handwritten note was on top of the bundle:

_Unfortunately your presence would have been required for a change of name on the deed._

He turned his attention to the legal document with the big bold letters on top "Washington real estate deed". His eyes stopped on the name of the grantee 'Anastasia Rose Steele'. He turned his head towards Belle with a question, but stopped himself at the sight of the single tear falling down her cheek. She shook her head saying no, her eyes pleading for him to let it go.

The remaining bundle was thicker and once again introduced by a hand written note:

_Again the ownership of the company could not be transferred to a new name. A cheque for your earnings as owner is attached. _

Dan did little more than leaf through the rather thick bundle of documents. Beyond the name of the company, Grey Publishing, the rest was way over his level of understanding. A cheque was stapled to the last page: 'Pay to the order of Annabelle Parson…..Twenty two million eight hundred and seventy four thousand two hundred and seventy three dollars only'.

He read the words a few times and glanced at the numbers to the right: 22,874,273.00. Somebody was saying his name, but he did not react, could not react, until a hand entered his line of sight and pulled the papers away from him. He blinked and his vision refocused on the now closed manila folder on the table. He cleared his throat. The voice was still there and now a hand was massaging his arm in long strokes. He looked down and then raised his eyes to meet the deep blue ones of his wife.

"None of this matters" she was saying.

He couldn't help it: he started laughing at the image in his head: "Imagine going with this at First Citizens: 'Um, yeah, hi, I'd like to cash a cheque.'"

Ana smiled and let him laugh. She kept her attention focused on him in an effort to stay in the here and now. Here in Rock Hill, with Dan, her husband, as opposed to in Seattle in the small bank office, withdrawing five million dollars. Mia, her mind supplied the name. Idly she wondered what had become of her. She was newly married and had just left for Europe…

Dan wiped his eyes and then rubbed them and pressed his fists against his eye sockets.

"Belle, something is not right with all of this. This" he waved his hand in the general direction of the table, "must have taken some time to prepare. And the timing of this letter is just too good with Eddy's birthday this week and graduation next month." He tightened his arm around her as if to protect her against the implied threat in his next words. "He must have found you some time ago."

Ana had been through the emotional wringer in the past couple of hours and had had a glass of whiskey. She was way past due for a breakdown of her own. She first snorted and then started giggling. "Belle?" he asked incredulous.

She tried to explain: "Dad he …witness…protection. Aa…and Kate. Pre….prepaid….prepaid phone. Oh God, I…I tol…told them." She gradually started to make more sense as she calmed down a little: "I….I'm sorry Dan, all this…all this hiding an…and changed names. All this…I told them: he always gets what he wants. They thought they were so clever, so careful. All these years." She stopped to catch her breath. "I'm sorry, it's just so…we were being so careful and all it did was to maybe slow him down a little. "

"So it's true then? He has not just found you now?"

"No, you are right, he has known for years, it seems." Said a sobering Ana.

"Did you know about it?" Dan could not completely hide the note of suspicion in his voice.

"No! I found out today. Luke Sawyer, the man who gave me the letter, told me."

"How many years?"

"He was not sure. He thinks since Eddy was about five."

"And you believe him?"

Ana straightened up from where she had been leaning against Dan and looked longingly at the empty glass of whiskey. "Luke Sawyer used to be my CPO. I trust him. He was not happy when I asked, but I am sure he told me the truth."

Dan added this bit of information to the rest trying to wrap his mind around a reality where Belle had a security detail following her around. "So you have a billionaire ex-husband who signed divorce papers no questions asked. It makes sense that he would want to keep track of a child who might have a claim to his fortune. He finds you but he lets sleeping dogs lie for years and then out of the blue contacts you to hand you a trust fund, real estate, a company and a cheque for twenty-two million dollars."

Dan shook his head incredulous: "Why would he do that? Unless...did he have to? I mean, the divorce…with a guy that rich…did you have a prenup?"

"No. No prenup." She said.

The thought had crossed Ana's mind, that Christian and especially his father might have cut ties out of fear that she would claim a part of his fortune. That they had given her a quick divorce and cut her and her son out of their lives to avoid the financial loss. The thought was as painful twenty years later as it had been then. Unable to sit still anymore, her heart tightened in a painful clump in her chest, Ana stood and walked to the window by the door, looking into the darkness outside.

**AN: next chapter will reveal what had upset Ana all those years ago. **


	4. Summer Storm Ch4 Lightning

****AN This has been an intense week and I can't thank you enough for all the pms and reviews. Most of all this time I would like to thank DCOliver who has been so gracious and kind and even mentioned this story in her AN. ****

****Quite a few of you wondered about what had happened all those years ago. We aim to please: this is part 1 of 4 "what everybody knew".****

****FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back****

Summer Storm Ch 4 Lightning

"No prenup" he had said. Breakfast at Bellevue, Christian fighting with Carrick about the prenup. She was his world then, or so she thought. Blindly reaching out to support herself on the window frame she let her forehead rest against the window. Silent tears falling she knew she needed Dan to believe her. Hesitant at first, her voice grew steadier as she spoke:

"Kate was supposed to interview him for the student newspaper. It had taken her nine months to get the interview but on the actual day she had the flu, so she sent me instead. That's how we met. We got engaged five weeks later and married after another five weeks. His father wanted him to have a prenup, and so did I, but he wouldn't hear of it. I had left him once, for a few days. He said that…" Her throat tightened at that particular memory. She just couldn't go there. The love and the hurt were hitting her in waves threatening to break her. Wiping her tears with one hand she continued: "When I filed for divorce Kate wanted me to do it: take half his fortune, his company. But I couldn't do that. It was never about the money. Not for me."

Dan listened quietly. Beyond the words he could hear the hurt in his wife's voice. He could now add shame to the other emotions the night's revelations had stirred. Based on what Ray had told him, he had always thought that Belle's reluctance to speak of her past was born out fear and resentment. He had been convinced that his own tragedy, the loss of the only woman he had ever loved, was a more noble reason to not be able to fully open his heart again. He had been grateful that Belle did not ask of him what he couldn't give: his love belonged forever to the woman under the tombstone in the cemetery.

It was only now that he realized Belle's heart had been wounded in the same way as his, and maybe worse. Fate had taken Jane away from him, while Belle's husband had willingly abandoned her.

He stood and went to the kitchen to get some tissues then returned to the family room and walked to the window where Ana was still standing. Without a word he wiped the tears off her face and offered her a tissue to blow her nose. A little uncertain he stretched one arm and let it lightly rest over her shoulders.

"I'm sorry Belle. I didn't know." He said in a quiet voice.

Ana reached up and squeezed the hand resting on her shoulder with her own. When she didn't say anything he asked: "Do you still love him?"

She hesitated. She had not considered that question in such a long time that she was afraid of what attempting to answer it would do to her. She allowed herself to feel Dan's presence beside her, his arm lightly resting over her shoulder, his hand enclosed in hers. Having him there was comforting, reassuring. They were not in love with each other but they did love each other dearly. They had built a caring relationship. They were attentive to each other and supportive of their respective needs. Admitting to having feelings for another man was quite different from just not having those feelings for him. There was also a subtle but no less important difference between your heart belonging to the memory of a dead person and it belonging to a living, breathing one. Perhaps this was not logical, but emotions, she knew, very rarely had anything to do with logic. Was it right to disturb the peace of their lives, their convenient and amicable arrangement?

She suspected Dan will have more questions, will want to know more about her past. At the very least they had to deal with the contents of the letter. The letter…She was going to see _him_ at graduation. Her mind stopped on that thought. Her heart skipped a beat. There was no need to look for an answer in some deep recess of her mind or of her soul.

She finally admitted both to Dan and to herself: "Yes."

The single word remained unchallenged, hanging undisturbed in the air around them.

Ana was, to her own surprise, mostly relieved. She could at least stop running from her feelings. We don't get to choose who we fall in love with. She knew her love was without hope and she was not going to fight for it. Simply admitting it was there had lifted a burden off her shoulders.

Dan had patiently waited for Belle's answer. In his heart he knew what the truth was. He had asked the question more wanting to see if Belle would trust him with it than out of curiosity. He had been afraid to hear it spoken out loud, afraid that it will change things between them. Perhaps there was a small, subtle change, but most of it was due to his realisation that he didn't know much at all about his wife rather than her admission of loving somebody else. For now they were still standing there together. They had quite a lot to deal with but the questions and the decisions could wait.

"It's getting late." He said.

Ana finally turned her eyes away from the darkness and towards the soft warm light in the family room. She listened for sounds in the house. The muffled beat of music could still be heard coming from upstairs. With what she hoped was a reassuring squeeze of Dan's hand she disentangled herself from his arm and went to the table where she picked up the leather bound folder. She then turned around and handed it to Dan and together they made their way through the living room and the corridor to their bedroom.

A short drive away, Luke Sawyer was staring at his phone and muttering a whispered but heartfelt "I'll be damned."

Since he had first laid eyes on Ana earlier that afternoon, nothing had gone as planned.

He had expected the initial surprize, the shocked reaction: she had run away from Seattle and had spent almost twenty years thinking she had succeeded. He knew the reason Grey had sent him to Rock Hill was so that a familiar face would lessen the impact of that initial shock. He had not expected to be also left shaken and doubting himself. Her reaction to the news about the pictures, her angry words, full of hurt 'He abandoned us! He signed off on us! He never tried to see his son or talk to him or be near him!' convinced him she had never been aware Grey had tried to contact her. Something about that fact had started some powerful alarm bells ringing in his mind.

Forced to keep his attention on restoring her balance, he had filed the feeling away for latter analysis. Only minutes later, the narrowly averted disaster in front of her house had made it abundantly clear that he needed to be very careful about what he was saying and how.

After leaving her, his next task had been to report back to his employer. His call was answered on the first ring:

"Grey."

"I have delivered the letter and the documents." he reported.

"And?" said the male voice with just a hint of impatience.

"She was …surprised."

"But she took the letter?" The impatience was more obvious this time.

"She asked me to place them in the glove compartment of her car."

This was followed by a moment of silence. Much more subdued the voice asked: "Anything else?"

It was Sawyer's turn to hesitate: "I have told her about the pictures."

Growling the man ordered: "Spit it out Sawyer."

"She asked how you found them. When I could not answer that, she wanted to know how long you have known."

Sighing, the man stated rather than asked: "She was angry."

"Yes, Sir."

"Does she know how to contact you?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Very well. Inform me immediately if she calls."

"Yes, Sir."

The line had gone dead.

Back in his suite he had sat down and attempted to run the complex operation that was the GEH Security department from a laptop and a mobile phone. That was going to be an exercise in frustration in any case and in his current state of mind it had proven futile. He had eventually forwarded his calls to Greg McKenzie and gone for a run.

Why was he bothered by the fact that Ana had never known about the letters, about Grey trying to contact her? He had spent his entire career in private security and one important lesson in his line of work was to not get emotionally attached. He had to remain objective if he was to be able to perform his duties. As Ana's bodyguard he had spent quite a lot of time in her company and he had to admit he liked her. With Grey being his highhanded, overpowering, controlling self, a camaraderie had developed between him and his charge, helping them both to deal with his very demanding employer. But he had never allowed the relationship to become something more personal.

He had barely made it out of the hotel's parking lot and onto the mainly deserted street when he had his revelation: somebody had interfered with the communication between his employers. His job as part of the security team was to prevent outside interference in his bosses lives and he had failed to do that. He had been unaware that the threat even existed. So what had he missed? What had they all missed?

While his feet pounded the pavement he found himself once again going over the time line he had pieced together when he had started his search for Ana and Teddy.

_First week of October: Jason and him have the week off while Grey is due to travel to the Far East on some business with Jenkins as his CPO. Ana and Teddy were going to spend the week in Montesano with Jordan and Donovan assigned to their security. Reynolds is in charge of the security detail in Taylor's absence. The apartment at Escala is empty and therefore the motion activated CCTV recordings are fed directly to the security office at the Grey residence. _

The recording from the day before Ana left was however missing so what he knew was from Jenkins report.

_The day before his trip, Grey orders Jenkins to go to Escala and cut the security feed, then collect Marlene Watkinson, one of Grey's ex subs, from the building's reception and bring her to the apartment. He is to wait there for Grey to arrive and he gets strict orders not to inform anybody of the breach in protocol. _

_Grey arrives at the apartment and the effect on Miss Watkinson is instant: she turns around and drops to her knees, head bowed and unmoving. Grey steps out of the elevator and walks directly to her. He stops in front of the prone figure and says something. She stands with her head still bowed, turns towards the staircase and scurries up the stairs, not once looking at Grey. Grey himself walks towards the master bedroom and re-emerges changed from his work clothes into jeans and a sweater and follows her upstairs. He stops by the "red room" and comes out again with several items in his hand._

Jenkins had reported he believed one of the items was a camera but, he defended himself, the CCTV was a security measure not meant to spy on his employer. Grey was not in danger so he had not really paid close attention to what he was carrying in his hand.

_Grey walks to the end of the corridor and enters the last bedroom. He remains there for close to an hour. He comes downstairs and heads for the kitchen, sees Ana's tablet on the counter and takes it and an empty glass to his study. Half an hour later, Jenkins and Grey leave Escala and head for the Grey residence, leaving Miss Watkinson alone in the apartment. _

_Grey informs Jenkins that the following day he is to drive him to the airport but then return to Escala and take Miss Watkinson to SeaTac and put her on a plane to Vegas. He is to remain with her until she boards the plane and once again needs to keep this information to himself. Reynolds is summarily informed that Grey has assigned Jenkins another task and somebody else needs to accompany him abroad. _

Jordan's report had provided the details for Ana's last few hours in Seattle:

_The next morning Ana is ready to leave for Montesano but can't find her tablet. She informs Jordan she believes she might have left it at Escala so they drive there first. Teddy and Donovan remain in the parking lot while he and Ana go up. Instead of searching the vast apartment, Jordan suggests they could watch the CCTV recording from when she was there the previous morning. He locates the part where Ana was ready to leave and they can see the tablet abandoned on the kitchen counter. As it is no longer there, they continue watching._

_They see Jenkins, Marlene Watkinson and Grey. Ana watches the recording to the point when Grey exits their bedroom then stops it. She orders Jordan to hand her the drive and leaves the security room._

_Jordan places a new drive in the recorder then, unaware of Grey's orders to Jenkins, he re-establishes the security feed to the house. _

From that point on what had happened in the apartment was on the CCTV recording:

_The video starts with Ana standing for a few seconds in front of the last bedroom in the corridor upstairs. She then slowly closes the door, turns around and comes downstairs. She strides towards the elevator and Jordan has to run to keep up with her. _

_Jenkins arrives at the apartment an hour later. He goes directly upstairs to that last bedroom and knocks on the door, then opens it. He comes down a few seconds later and in less than ten minutes Marlene Watkinson exits the bedroom and comes downstairs. They leave the apartment together._

Jordan's report continued from when Ana had left Escala:

_Ana asks him to drive her to Kate Grey's house. After about an hour Ana, Kate and Teddy leave Kate's house and him and Donovan are informed they are headed for Montesano._

_Later in the evening Grey calls Jordan and orders him and Donovan back to Seattle, despite Jordan's protests that Ana and Teddy will be left unprotected. They inform Reynolds who decides that enough was enough and contacts Taylor who immediately returns from his vacation. Grey returns the following day from his trip and takes residence at Escala._

That is where he had found things on his own return at the end of the week: Grey holed up at Escala, only leaving the apartment for a few hours at GEH or for the gym. Jason Taylor was hardly talking to any of the security team and then only to assign duties or receive reports. The usually cheerful and caring Gail Taylor was moody and uncharacteristically quiet.

Jason informed him that Ana and Teddy were with Ray Steele in Montesano and were not to have any kind of security or surveillance. In Ana's absence he had been reassigned to general security. The days turned into weeks. The tension in the penthouse was unbearable so he was grateful for the days when he was assigned at the house on the Sound instead.

One day stood out in the general doom and gloom: Thanksgiving evening. He was on duty at Escala when Grace and Carrick Grey had arrived unannounced and he overheard a drunken Christian Grey suggesting to his father that his Thanksgiving toast should be dedicated to the fact that Ana had not taken his money. 'Do you want to know what she asked for in the divorce, Dad? Nothing, that's what she asked for. She didn't want anything.'

That is how he had found out that Grey and Ana were in the process of divorcing each other. At least now he had an explanation as to why Grey was slowly but surely unravelling. The drinking had become a regular occurrence, he barely left Escala a couple of times a week, the gym was a distant memory.

Two weeks later the Escala receptionist informed him a Mr Steele had left an envelope for Mr Grey. Grey was in his study so that's where he took the letter.

"_Sir, Mr Steele has left a package for you at reception" _

_Grey jumps out of his chair and snatches the envelope out of his hand. He opens it and several objects spill out on the desk: two rings glittering against the dark surface, three smaller envelopes, several credit cards and an usb stick with a note taped to it. _

_Grey falls in his chair as if his legs had been cut from under him, the colour draining from his face until his skin is the same colour as the white envelopes. His jaw clenching so hard that the teeth grinding against each other make an audible noise, he extracts the remaining papers from the larger envelope. The man's eyes are moving while he reads, quickly flipping through the pages, then his head drops and his arms fall against the edge of the table and drop the bound documents. _

From where he stood on the other side of the desk, he was reading upside down. He could only make out the bold script, but that was enough: at the top of the paper the line read 'Superior court of Washington County', and a little to the right 'Temporary order' was spelled in bold letters.

_Grey stretches a now trembling hand towards the usb stick and un-wraps the note. He stares at it for several seconds. Eventually Grey's lips move, but the sound is so low he can't quite make out the words. In the background the elevator pings announcing somebody's arrival. His brain eventually translates the almost inaudible sounds into words: 'find them'. Grey lifts his head and stares straight at him: 'Whatever it takes'. _

The emptiness behind the stare, the devastation on the man's face, the strangled sounds that were barely sufficient to carry the words to his ears: had he believed in ghosts, this is how he'd imagine one would look like!

He had not noticed Jason Taylor's presence until he felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes watching Grey, Taylor had told him to go to GEH and contact Welsh and that he will brief them later. That was the last time he had set foot at Escala and he was not going to see Grey again for several months.

He had not known Grey had written those letters, but seeing them returned unopened, he had assumed that Ana had just sent them back, together with her rings and credit cards. He was still unsure if he, or any of them, should have suspected someone had deliberately kept Ana and Grey apart. He was even less certain of what he was supposed to do with this piece of information so many years down the line.

Panting and sweaty after his run he had returned to his suite and had glanced at his phone more out of habit than from a conscious decision. The message awaiting him had brought him back to the present with the effectiveness of a punch to the gut:

_Jason: 'Rock Hill is very far away from Seattle Luke. 6pm tomorrow, your room'._


	5. Summer storm Ch5 Questions

******I know the previous chapter has left many of you confused. I had to do it this way so that I can put you in Ana's shoes so to speak. I hope the confusion brought by the previous chapter will give you some insight into how she might have felt and that you won't judge her quite as harshly for her actions (or lack thereof). As readers you will all find out more about what really happened (next chapter), but all Ana had to go on was a deafening silence from everybody!******

******FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look******

Ch 5 Questions

When Ana arrived home after work, she was surprised to see Dan's car already there. She had spent the day immersing herself in her work and had pushed her personal issues aside. Her focus had only slipped the end of the day, as she was putting away the papers that had been scattered all over her desk. The tidy desk was something she had learned from him. From the man she had finally admitted she still loved; the man for whom she had not been enough after all; the man who was now back in her life and, more importantly, in her son's life.

Eddy had started calling Dan 'dad' when Ana was in hospital after Emma's birth, while Nick was still calling her Belle. Emma was two when the boys had been fighting about something and Nick had pointed out that Dan was not Eddy's 'real dad'. Ana and Dan had sat both boys down and told Eddy that it was true that he had another father, but that his father had met another woman and had started a new family and Dan, Ana, Nick, Emma and he were now their own family. That Ana and Dan were now mom and dad for all three children. The conversation had been more emotional for Nick than for Eddy, since he could still remember Jane, while Eddy had no memory of his father. It had ended with Nick admitting he was jealous of Eddy calling Dan and Ana 'mom' and 'dad' when he only had a dad. In the following weeks he had started calling Ana 'mom'. He was hesitant at first, as if trying the word out, and Ana knew he had talked to Dan about Jane. She had understood he needed reassurance that he didn't betray her memory by calling somebody else 'mom'.

Eddy had not asked about his biological father again. He had seen his birth certificate lacked the name of the father when he applied for his driver's license. Ana had gone with him to apply for the learner's permit and remembered him looking at the document for a few seconds before handing it back to her. She had made a half-hearted attempt to talk to him about it, but Eddy brushed it off saying: "Dad is my dad." She had let it go, grateful that she didn't have to dwell on that subject.

This was what she had kept turning around in her mind on the drive home. Was Eddy really OK with not knowing who his biological father was? Was he resentful of the father who had moved on from him and his mother? Did he feel rejected? By the time she reached the house her emotions were again a mixture of anger and fear and this time guilt was added to the mix.

She drove the car into the small garage and was ready to storm into the house when her hand froze on the door handle. The pictures! What had Luke said? Birthdays, New Year's, school plays… how did Christian know about the school plays? The answer to that question was obvious and a chill ran down her spine at the realisation: he must have some form of surveillance on them!

She entered the house and went straight to the windows at the front. There was nothing out there, just the same familiar neighbourhood: Mrs Thomson's cat sitting on the front porch, the Robinsons' cars sticking out of their drive way, Linda's front lawn in need of attention. She racked her mind for memories of unusual cars or unfamiliar faces in their neighbourhood. She couldn't remember any, but this didn't mean much. She thought of the school events but there were just too many faces and often poor lightning. Her hand flew to her mouth to stifle a gasp: that tingling of her skin and the feeling of being pulled as if by a powerful magnet making her a little dizzy… They weren't there all the time and she had put them down to being anxious. At Eddy's first piano performance they had been there from the moment she had sat down but then they got worse, more intense, until she could barely concentrate on the music anymore. Tears stung her eyes: he had been there!

Dan found her like this, standing in front of the window, looking outside, just like the previous evening.

"Hi," he said softly, to not startle her.

She, however, spun around, for a moment staring at him wild eyed, until her mind reconnected with the present. "Hi. You're home early."

He watched her, leaning his head to one side. "I left early. I was too distracted anyway to do much work. Are you OK?"

Regaining her composure, her heartbeat slowing down, she smiled: "Yes, I am. I'm sorry - you startled me. Are _you_ OK?"

With a sigh, Dan stretched his arm out to her. "Sweetheart, we need to talk. Emma is at Amanda's. I know it's the middle of the week, but she said something about her friend needing her and I thought it would be better if she wasn't here while we talk."

Ana pursed her lips. She was disappointed not to see Emma, but she could understand Dan's reasons. She reached out and took Dan's offered hand.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Me?" Ana replied, smiling, "What about you?" Of the two of them Dan was certainly the bigger eater, and he was not much of a cook.

"A little," he answered with a twinkle in his eyes. It was an old joke between them, him asking her if she was hungry when he was the one who needed feeding. Then all trace of amusement gone from his voice he offered: "We could order something."

"No, it's OK. I'll make some stir-fry, it won't take long," with a little sigh and a nod of her head she continued: "We can talk while I cook. Just let me get out of my work clothes."

"OK," he said, "I'll be in the kitchen."

A few minutes later, Ana, now wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, was slicing chicken breast into stripes while Dan sat by the kitchen counter. This was a familiar scene for both of them, something they had done often over the years: discussing and making decisions while Ana cooked and Dan watched her, only helping with tiding up and setting the table. Encouraged by the familiarity of the scene, he began:

"I've been thinking about this all day, Belle. Mostly I've been thinking about what to tell Eddy, and how to tell him," he paused, "I looked him up, Christian Grey," he shook his head, "I still can't wrap my head around him being Eddy's biological father." He put the beer bottle down, but continued: "I don't know how much there was about the two of you on the web before, but there's hardly anything there now. I found a biography that mentions his first marriage."

He saw Ana's shoulders tense. She looked at him expectantly.

"You are Anastasia Steele and Eddy is Theodore Raymond Grey - after his grandfather and great grandfather?"

Ana moved the chicken strips onto a plate. "Yes," she said. She looked at him pleading with her eyes for his understanding: "They are just names."

"It's all right, Belle. For me you are Anabelle and Eddy Parson. Just checking. There was, however, another name and quite a few pictures to go with that one: Katherine Kavanagh Grey."

She sighed. "Kate met Elliot the weekend before graduation. They got married when I was pregnant with Eddy."

He waited for her to continue. When she didn't, he again wondered how she could not see that Kate being family was relevant. He spoke choosing his words carefully: "If Kate is family and not just your friend, she must have had some contact with him and with the rest of the family. Not only now, but back then, when you separated."

Looking down and slowly shaking her head, Ana said: "Kate and Christian didn't like each other very much. She only told me that Christian had not tried to contact her, she never mentioned anybody asking about me, about us." Ana's voice betrayed her hurt, "I can, on some level, understand why they would not contact me, but Eddy, he was their grandson! I still cannot understand how they could cut ties with him so… abruptly."

Her clipped tone and the tension in her shoulders were telling him that she was getting upset and they had not even gotten close to discussing what to tell Eddy. He decided to get back to a more practical question: "Do you think this is how he found you? Through Kate?"

Ana frowned: "Dad had coached her, she has always been careful." She raised her hand to stop whatever question Dan had. "There's something else you should know, I think. I told you he has known where we were for several years. What I didn't tell you is that he has been here. He has been in Rock Hill several times."

Dan's eyes grew larger and his eyebrows flew up to his hairline: "Christian Grey has been in Rock Hill?! Are you sure? I mean someone that important in our corner of the world would have certainly made the news. He doesn't have any business this side of the country, I gathered that much today, unless…" his heart started hammering inside his chest, "He came across the country to see his son."

Ana's eyes filled with tears, which she dabbed away in an angry gesture. "Why the hell would he do that? If he cared, why did he stay away? Why the secrecy?"

With a growing suspicion and a feeling of impending doom, Dan asked her: "What does he do when he comes here, do you know?"

Still frustrated, Ana waved her hands. "Apparently he takes pictures of Eddy." She practically slammed the wok onto the cooker.

Unseen by Ana, Dan closed his eyes and bowed his head: "When?"

Luke mentioned birthdays, New Year's, Fourth of Julys," her voice now barely above a whisper, she added, "And school plays, sports events." She stopped herself before telling Dan that she had felt Christian's presence.

Dan raised his head and opened his eyes. "There is more, isn't there?"

Ana watched her hand trembling when she reached for the wooden spoon. It was a weird sensation, like watching somebody else. "He keeps pictures in his office. That's were Luke saw them."

As she was telling Dan about it all, her mind finally put the details together: the trips across the country, the pictures in his office, years of watching them from a distance and now suddenly the graduation and the trust fund. She turned around, a trembling hand resting against the counter for support. She looked at Dan and hoped that he'd be able to deny it all, to tell her she was wrong.

The look on Dan's face was not what she had hoped to see. He was tense, his jaws clenched, his eyes squinting; he looked in pain. Her voice hoarse as if the words were torn past her unwilling throat, she whispered: "He wants to be in Eddy's life."

Dan somehow found the strength to stand up and go to her around the countertop. He placed his arms around her and his chin on top of her head, holding her trembling body tight against him. He had arrived at the same conclusion. And he knew that he was going to have to fight for his family. He admitted as much when he answered: "Yes, he does."

The sizzling in the pan and the faint smell of burning oil broke their embrace. They both looked at the contents in the wok as if it were an unwelcomed guest. Ana sighed against Dan and pulled away; she grabbed a spoon and tossed the food. It was not too badly burnt. Dan grabbed two plates from the cabinet. They ate their meal in silence. When they were done and the kitchen was tidy again, they moved together to the family room and sat on the couch. He cleared his throat.

"What do you want to tell Eddy?"

"Me? Why me? Dan, we are doing this together!"

He sighed, "Yes, we are. Did you ever talk to him about his… his biological father?"

Ana shook her head. "There was one time, when he saw his birth certificate. I tried to talk to him but he brushed me off." Hoping her words would restore Dan's confidence, she told him: "He said you are his dad and walked away."

Dan nodded. "That's good, it's good." He paused, "I don't know enough Belle to make a decision. I have my suspicions, but I don't know enough about Grey to be sure."

"Suspicions? What suspicions?"

"The letter he wrote. For me it sounds detached, distant, almost like a business contract. If I didn't know who it was from and who it was for, it really doesn't give anything away. He doesn't even mention parenthood. All you get from it is that both you and Eddy are due a boatload of money," he waited for the words to sink in.

"For you however, the words had a very special meaning. You said so yesterday, and I saw the effect they had on you." The look on her face was still expectant, so he continued: "I don't have a head for business, I know that, but I have tried to learn and I have watched others. These guys, the successful ones, they have a way with words. They know how to talk to people to get what they want."

Ana nodded.

"Grey, his letter, you were probably right: he worded it the way he did on purpose," he took her hand in his and looked in her eyes, "I think he is leaving it up to you. If you had forgotten, the letter would be as cold and distant to you as it was to me, but if there was a chance that you remember… He is letting you know that he remembers too," he continued before she could interrupt him: "He has waited all this time to tell you… I think he has waited for Eddy to be old enough. I think he wants Eddy to know about him, but he is leaving it up to you: to take the money or not, to tell Eddy or not, to remember or not."

Ana heard the words and saw the intensity in Dan's face. Christian did not just drop a bomb on them, he was reaching out to her. For the first time since she had set eyes on Luke Sawyer she felt a measure of gratefulness that he hadn't just sent the trust fund letter to Eddy without a warning, that he didn't just show up at graduation. For those two things he was not asking permission, he was telling her they were going to happen. But the rest…

"Dan, I never lied to Eddy. I didn't give him any details, but I didn't lie. I think we should tell him that the trust fund is from his biological father and let him decide how much he wants to know. But if he asks, I think we should tell him."

Still holding her hand Dan nodded. "I agree. After the finals, or maybe after graduation, we could talk to him then," in a softer voice he added, "And what about you?"

She understood what he was asking. Did she want to respond to Christian's letter? Her phone started ringing. The old fashioned ring signal was the one she had for people not on her contact list.

"Hello?"

"Belle, thank God I got hold of you. I don't have long. I just called to say that I am sorry, but I won't make it to Eddy's graduation. I am really sorry; I was so looking forward to it. This overseas trip has just been sprung on me and I'll be in Europe that whole week. Oh, but I'll be there this weekend. I can be there Saturday and leave Sunday evening. I know it's not much, but I hope you know I'd be there if I could."

Kate finally stopped for breath, giving Ana a chance to reply: "Hi Kate, it's fine, really, you don't have to go to all this trouble."

Kate paused. "Belle, is everything OK?"

"Yeah, Kate. I just… I was talking to Dan. I'll see you Saturday. Do you want me to pick you up at the airport?"

"No it's fine, I'll get a rental. Are you sure you are OK, you sound a little off."

"I'm fine Kate, just a headache - everything all right with you? How's Ava?"

"She's fine, we're fine. Listen I have to go. I'll fill you in on Saturday. I'm really sorry about missing the graduation."

"OK, Kate, don't worry. See you Saturday."

After she hung up, she kept staring at the phone for a while. Kate. Ana had fought hard not to think of Seattle each time she spoke with Kate, or met with her. Today she was losing that fight. Kate was in Seattle with him, with the rest of the Greys. She looked up to meet Dan's stare.

"Kate can't make it to the graduation, she'll be here this weekend though."

Dan leaned his head to one side, unsure of her mood. "Are you upset about it?"

"No, I… it's more that she was really keen on being here."

"Did she tell you why she is not coming?"

"Something about a trip to Europe," Ana's eyes grew wide, "Christian!"

"You think he had something to do with it?"

Growing more certain with every second, Ana nodded. "He is going to be here, so he arranged for her to be elsewhere."

"That would mean he knew she would be here," Dan pointed out, "Besides she is her own boss, she runs that media company."

Ana shook her head, "Dan, you have no idea of the kind of power Christian yields. He has been here for some of Eddy's birthdays so he has probably seen Kate. If he as much as suspects that she might be here for graduation… she should be grateful the trip is only to Europe. At least she likes Europe."

Something that had been nagging at Dan's mind finally took shape: "The pictures in his office, are they just of Eddy?"

Ana was brought up short by his question. She had not dared ask Luke that, but now there was something else bothering her. It was unlikely Kate had visited Christian in his office, but Elliot used to be there on a regular basis. Even Grace and Carrick dropped by occasionally. The pictures had been in the office for years. Did everybody know where she was? Was Kate just playing a part? Ana's head was spinning. For her own sanity, she needed answers.

"I don't know," she answered truthfully, "But I know who will. Dan, I think I need to talk to Luke Sawyer. We both do. I think there's quite a lot that is not what it seems."

Dan nodded slowly, "I think so too. But Belle, are you sure you want to know?"

She looked at him for a while, turning the question in her mind. She finally answered: "If Eddy has any questions, I would like to be able to answer them. How long has Christian looked for him? Why? The money, the publishing company, I left it all behind once, I can do that again, but it's not only about me. Eddy will have his trust fund if he chooses to keep it, to use it. What about Nick and Emma? What if Eddy wants to meet Christian? I need a better idea of what Christian really wants."

Again Dan agreed with her. He had the same questions and a few more. "OK. You know how to reach him?"

Ana stood and went to the kitchen to get the card from the drawer where she had stuffed it the day before. This time she took a proper look at the shiny white card with the GEH logo on the left corner: Lucas Sawyer, Executive Director, Security. She shook her head remembering her assumption that he was still somebody's CPO. Apparently he had come up the ranks a few notches.

She sat back down next to Dan and picked up her phone.

**AN: Next chapter will tell "what really happened" (part 2/4 of why Ana and Christian separated)**


	6. Summer storm Ch6 Thunder

**AN: It's been quite a long week and I apologize if I have not responded to all of you, it has really been hectic! Here it is part 2/4 of what happened "back then". Thanks to Milou who asked all the right questions, it will hopefully clear up some of the confusion.**

******FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look****** **Back**

Ch 6 Thunder

Luke Sawyer signed off from his video conference and stretched in his chair. Damn but he missed his office! Even the simple mental arithmetic of calculating time zones had become tedious after the fifth or sixth time and the wall display with all the GEH outfits complete with times, personnel numbers, threat assessments and everything else he needed to know at the click of a button was much easier on his eyes than the small computer screen he currently had to work with.

When he had started on the task of looking for Ana and Teddy he had been relieved of all other security duties and instead worked from the security floor at GEH HQ. Two weeks into his assignment Taylor had finally stopped by his desk. He only briefly enquired about the search and then informed him that both he and Gail had tendered their resignations and their thirty days' notice was up in a few days. From that point on he was to report directly to Welch.

Grey himself had yet to make an appearance at GEH. As he was no longer on his personal detail he had not been kept informed about his boss's private life. All he knew was what the PR department had released: that Grey was on a leave of absence "for family reasons". Then a snow storm in the middle of January left Grey's detail short staffed. Welch asked him to cover a shift for them and he found himself guarding the reception area of a private psychiatric facility where Grey had been admitted since sometime in December.

Since he and Welch were the only GEH employees who had a full picture of what had been going on in Grey's life, they could only discuss those details with each other so they found themselves spending increasingly more time together.

Grey returned to GEH in the middle of March, but the intensity, the burning fire, which had previously inhabited him, were gone. Instead of the electrifying presence commanding attention whenever he entered a room, the man was now more haunting the space than inhabiting it.

Two months later the news of Grey's marriage to Marlene Watkinson and of the baby that was due at the end of the summer came as a complete surprise to everybody. But his boss seemed to have found a second wind and had gradually become more like his old self. By the time Samantha was born, Grey had taken back the reins at GEH. Few people were aware of one odd detail signalling that all was not as it should have been in his second marriage: Ana's portraits continued to frame the door of his office.

In November, Ray Steele sold the house in Montesano and started withdrawing the cash, several thousand at a time, from locations all over the country. Looking up car rentals and airline tickets and creating a map of the locations were money had been withdrawn had proved pointless. He had never accomplished more than being able to confirm Ray's presence at a certain bank on a given date. As the house in Montesano was his only link to Ray Steele and to Ana he finally gave up and submitted his resignation.

It was Welch that had suggested he should contact Jason Taylor who had opened a training centre for private security in Montana. Over the following seven years his relationship with Jason and Gail Taylor had grown into a close friendship, but career wise he was getting restless. So when Welch called to offer him the position of team leader for the West Coast Security division of GEH he had jumped at the chance. Over the following years he had managed first the West coast division then been promoted to manage the security for all GEH locations in the US.

When Martin Welch announced his retirement, he had submitted his application for the position, together with a presentation suggesting a complete overhaul of how the security arm of GEH was operating. He had been offered the position and his title had been changed to Executive Director, giving him a seat on the GEH leadership team.

At six pm, now changed from his office attire to more casual clothes, he was still pondering the irony of a career path which seemed to have led him straight back to being closely involved with Grey and Ana's private lives. A sharp knock at the door alerted him that his visitor had arrived.

At fifty-five, Jason Taylor was still in excellent shape, and the years of training could be seen in his broad shoulders, straight spine and piercing stare.

"Jason."

"Luke," Jason replied. He did not smile in greeting. This was not a social call, this was business.

Sawyer stepped aside to let him in, and then went directly to the minibar: "Drink?"

"Perhaps," said Taylor, sitting in an armchair, "Nice digs."

Returning with two glasses, Sawyer sat in the opposite armchair, his eyes briefly taking in his surroundings. It was a reasonably cosy suite, not quite Grey's standard, but nice. He decided against mindless chitchat.

"I didn't realize you were keeping track of my movements, Jason."

Jason swirled the drink in his glass, but put it back down without tasting it. "It's not you I'm keeping track of."

"Oh?" said Sawyer, his impassive face not matching the questioning tone.

Jason sat back in the armchair and looked at his friend. "There is only one possible explanation for your presence in Rock Hill, Luke."

Luke did not offer a comment so Jason continued: "I know you have contacted Annabelle Parson, formerly known as Anastasia Grey, yesterday."

"You have her under surveillance?"

"I have been keeping an eye on her, yes."

"May I ask why?"

"I told Grey where she was, but only after he promised he would leave them alone. Just making sure he's keeping that promise. You might as well know I am aware of Grey's visits to Rock Hill."

"So it was you that found them. I thought you no longer worked for Grey."

"I don't. He called me about a year after you left. He begged me to look for Ana and Teddy. I refused at first, but he insisted he just wanted to know if they were all right. I finally agreed when he reminded me that Teddy was his son. If this had been Sophie… It took me a few weeks to find them. Ana was married, she and Teddy looked happy, there was no way I would bring Grey back into her life. I called to tell him that they were alive and well. He wanted to know where they were, but I refused to tell him. He insisted, so I told him she had moved on, that she was married."

Taylor bowed his head and looked down, then closed his eyes. When he looked up again he looked sad and his words were more hesitant than Sawyer had ever heard coming from him: "He was silent at first and then he started pleading with me. He promised he would stay away, leave them alone, that he only needed to see them. With a final, 'Please Jason,' he hung up."

Taylor took a large sip of his drink: "I sent him the address and warned that I'd hold him to his promise. I was going to set up surveillance on them anyway so… I know about his visits. I also have a strong suspicion he's not been quite as hands off as he said he'd be, but he has never tried to make contact - until yesterday."

Sawyer had listened quietly to his friend's story. His phone vibrated with a new text message. He read the text and then surprised Taylor by handing him the phone:

_Grey: 'Tell Jason I have every intention of keeping my promise.'_

Taylor noticed the frown on Sawyer's face. "Problem?"

"I didn't tell him about our meeting."

"You think he might have you under surveillance?"

"Anything is possible with Grey. I'd like to think I would have noticed if I was being followed."

Assessing his friend, Jason considered the situation for a moment. "He probably has her under surveillance. I drove by her house before coming here."

"Well, no point speculating," said Sawyer said, and took his phone to type a reply_: 'Yes Sir. Suggestions on how to handle questions?'_

"Speaking of which," he continued after sending his message, "How did you find them? I am fairly certain I had covered all the possibilities."

"Ray Steele. It had to be him, but he would have needed help. Grey gave me access to the security files, so I went back to the initial background check we did on him. I looked into his friends and colleagues. One of them was working in the local FBI office, so I paid him a visit and got their new names."

Everything in Sawyers expression conveyed disbelief: "He convinced an FBI agent to give them false IDs?"

Taylor shook his head: "Not false, new."

It took another moment for Sawyer to realize what his friend meant. "Witness protection? He got his pal to enter them in the programme? That was a big risk to take. What if Grey reported them missing… Oh, I see. They knew he couldn't do that, didn't they. They knew he wouldn't take the risk of the press getting hold of the story – Grey's heir missing - and alerting every whacko in the country. Not to mention that Grey himself would be a prime suspect in any missing person case. I have to hand it to the man, that was a brilliant plan."

"Yeah, it was. Hell of a risk to take though."

"For his friend, you mean?"

"For all of them really: Ray, his friend, even Ana. Ray had promised Grey he would have a chance to discuss visitation arrangements after the divorce - hiding Teddy from his father was nothing short of kidnapping."

Sawyer's brows knitted in concentration. "About that, something Ana said yesterday made me wonder… she didn't seem to remember the letters Grey sent her, the ones Ray returned unopened. I know it was a long time ago and she didn't read them, but she seemed quite sure he never wrote to her."

His serious demeanour softening, Taylor asked: "How was she when she saw you?"

"Shocked, upset, angry…" he was once again interrupted by his phone buzzing.

_Grey: 'I owe Jason a debt I can never hope to repay. Use your own judgment.'_

Handing the phone to Jason he commented: "It's not exactly permission, but…"

Taylor's shoulders dropped a little further. He put the phone down on the table still looking down at the open text message. "Does you presence in Rock Hill have anything to do with Teddy Grey turning twenty one in a few days?"

Sawyer leaned back, assessing his friend. "Why are you so concerned about this?"

"Aren't you? Despite Grey's visits, they have lived their lives in peace - why is he suddenly so keen to let her know he has found them?"

"That's their business, Jason."

"God dammit, Luke! Ana and Teddy have no idea he has been looking for them!" Taylor exploded.

Sawyer's universe stilled. Taylor's words played in his mind over and over. The same alarm bells that had clamoured for his attention the day before were again ringing loud and clear. In a measured voice, not letting the unease show, he asked: "How do you know that?"

Taylor stared, surprised at the question.

Sawyer repeated his question: "How do you know Ana is not aware that Grey has been looking for them?"

He expected Jason to dodge the answer; he expected some kind of half assed reminder that he had had them under surveillance for a while. What he did not expect was for Jason to be sitting there with a guilty as hell look on his face.

"What the hell did you do, Jason?"

Jason stood and started pacing around the room. "I have never quite understood that whole life style. When I first saw that room upstairs I thought 'Who the hell would willingly allow themselves to be tied up, beaten and fucked?' But then I met some of the subs. There was no doubt that they enjoyed what they did with Grey, so I put it out of my mind. They were consenting adults. Anastasia, she… she was different. She was innocent and she was not a submissive. The way Grey changed after he met her, it was like, well, maybe not night and day, but you know what I mean - and then he brought that ex-sub back to the apartment and Ana went to Montesano. By the time I got back to Seattle, Ray had told Grey to withdraw security or he would take Ana and Teddy away and hide them. I was furious with Grey about the CCTV feed and having somebody over at Escala without security, so I didn't talk him out of it. I knew I could trust Ray to protect them as much as any of our guys. Regardless, I did arrange for covert surveillance. That's how I knew when they left Montesano. Anyway, after a couple of weeks Grace Grey approached me. Apparently Ana was not returning her calls or emails. That's when I knew that Ray was running interference: as upset as she must have been with Grey, Ana is not the type to just ignore Grace."

Sawyer's body stiffened: "You knew?" He sat up in the armchair, his back straight, his chin jutting out: "You were his fucking head of security, man! What the hell were you thinking?"

Jason stopped pacing and addressed Luke directly: "What did you think when Jenkins and Jordan described the meeting between Grey and Miss Watkinson?"

Sawyer shrugged: "What we all thought, I suppose. That he had had a session with her."

"Exactly. The thought that he was going back to wanting that from a woman, expecting it even… Ana had never been like that, not really."

"It was none of your damn business, Jason."

Jason glared at him: "Maybe not, but it was Ray's business. Ray came to see Grey two days after Ana left for Montesano. I heard them talk. He had seen the CCTV tape… You never saw him with those other women, Luke, I have. Knowing that it was consensual only stopped me from wanting to punch something. What he expected, demanded and enforced with physical punishments was complete and total obedience. I have seen them on their knees at his feet and him in total control over their bodies. I have a daughter, and so do you. There's no way in hell I'd ever allow my daughter near that kind of man. If Ray saw something like that, if he imagined for a second that that was what Grey was expecting of his daughter… He was her father! And it's not like he was holding her prisoner in Montesano, so yeah, I never said anything."

Taylor sat down and downed his glass in one big gulp. They had both made mistakes on occasion and they had acknowledged them, learned from them and moved on. For Jason to get defensive like he just did, his actions had to weigh on him quite heavily. "So that's why you looked for them when he asked you: you felt guilty."

Taylor leaned back in the armchair, deflated. "Yeah."

"Is this why you refused to tell him where they were? Because you thought Grey was bad for her?"

"As said, by the time I found them she had a new life, a new family. She looked happy. I knew Grey's marriage had ended, but that didn't change who he was, the lifestyle he had."

"So what changed your mind?"

"I told you, he called and-"

"Jason," Sawyer interrupted, his firm tone not leaving any room for compromise, "You just told me how you broke Grey's trust and some pretty damn basic rules of this job because you were so protective of Ana. Grey pleading with you, as touching as it might have been, would not have been enough to change your mind."

The two glared at each other. Jason Taylor blinked first.

"You're right. There's something else. We all assumed Grey used Miss Watkinson as a sub. What if we were wrong?"

"I don't know that that would make a difference," Sawyer paused, "Oh, I see. For Ana it would make a difference, if there was another explanation. And, I now assume, for you?"

Taylor nodded.

Sawyer's eyebrows flew to his hairline: "You have reason to believe there is another explanation?"

"Let me ask you something. You've been with Grey for what? Ten years?"

"Eleven in July. Why?"

"Eleven years then. Have you seen him or known him to be with a woman, sub or otherwise, in all these years?"

"Jason, you know I can't answer that."

"That text before, he basically gave you permission. I won't ask for specifics, just a 'yes' or 'no'."

Some of the tension had left Jason's body. He was sitting back in the armchair, his eyes no longer glaring. Not the demeanour of someone anxiously awaiting a vital piece of information.

"Why do I have a feeling you already know the answer to that question?"

"You know that I occasionally send the guys to train on surveillance missions in Seattle, but it's not regular and it's from pretty far away," he smirked, "Can't risk your guys catching them out."

"Very well. The answer is no, and I would know if he had someone: the protocol is so strict that I know if a fly gets anywhere near him, let alone another human being. So where are you going with this?"

"When you came to Montana, you told us he has custody of the child from his second marriage. I was not sure that was such a good environment for a child, but there was not much I could do about it. When he gave me access to the security files, when I was looking for Ana, I used the opportunity to snoop around."

Jason paused, waiting for Luke to berate him again. Luke, however, was way beyond the point where such an admission surprised him. Instead, he just prompted: "So?"

"I got the file we put together for Miss Watkinson when she was his sub and started from there. She had remained in the lifestyle and was living with her doms in full time relationships. The month before she showed up at Escala, she had been reported missing by one of her friends. Her friend was also a known sub on the Seattle BDSM scene, so I went to see her. Getting her to talk was not easy, but in the end she did tell me that Marlene had been in a 'bad relationship' with a Dom, and she was worried about her. She had contacted the police, but then" Jason made quote marks with his fingers 'the community helped out and got her out of Seattle'."

"And you think Grey had something to do with that?"

Jason nodded. "Yes. I think either she herself or 'the community' asked Grey for help to get Marlene out of Seattle. We know Jenkins took her to the airport the next day and put her on a plane to Vegas."

"So you mean she was not at Escala for a scene?"

Rubbing his hands over his face, Jason nodded: "There's more: Samantha Grey is born in August. That means she had to have been conceived no earlier than November. We know Grey didn't leave Seattle any time between November and March. Either you or I were with him 24/7 until the end of the year and then…"

Jason could not bring himself to say the words but Luke knew exactly what he meant: Grey had not left the private clinic where John Flynn had him admitted until early March. When Jason found his voice again he concluded the story: "I tracked Miss Watkinson's movements: she was in Vegas until February."

Sawyer shifted in his seat. Samantha Grey had been born while Grey was married to her mother, so the assumption was that she was Grey's daughter. He had never heard even a whisper suggesting otherwise. He had done the maths and figured out that she had been conceived sometime in November and had assumed that Grey had been with Marlene on some of the days when he was not at Escala.

Jason noticed his discomfort: "I am not going to the press with this, Luke, just making a point."

"And the point is?"

"Are you aware that Grey has sole custody of the girl? He knows the child is not his. Why would he ensure that he gets to keep her?"

"I expect you are going to tell me."

Jason sighed. Sawyer was losing his patience and he couldn't really blame him.

"After I found Ana and Teddy, I have contacted Madeleine Watkinson, ex-Grey. I threatened to expose her BDSM past and got her to spill her beans: Samantha Grey is the product of an alcohol fuelled party from when she was in Vegas. She has no idea who the father is. She didn't even realize that she was pregnant until two month into the pregnancy. Apparently she's pro-life: she was keeping a low profile, waiting to deliver the baby and then planning to put it up for adoption so she could try and rebuild a life for herself. The adoption agency was positive to begin with but then she did something stupid and had one urine test positive for drugs and suddenly all the doors were closed.

She was trying to find herself a new Dom but none of them would have her while she was pregnant. One night, after yet another Dom had turned her down she was drowning her sorrows at a bar when Grey stepped out of the restaurant and saw her. He started telling her off for drinking while she was pregnant but then he heard that she planned on abandoning the baby and went ballistic. Next thing she knew Grey offered her a deal: marry him so the child is born within the marriage and stay married at least one year. He would provide the structure, the direction she needed from a Dom, but no sexual contact. She swears Grey and her never had a sexual relationship since their original dom-sub contract.

After the baby was born, she could barely stand to look at her, let alone care for her, so after six months he renegotiated the arrangement: she gets her prenup early and agrees for her parental rights to be terminated. The records are sealed, but she told me that she admitted in front of a judge to willingly abandoning the child. A psychiatrist report and two testimonies confirmed her statement and Grey got sole legal and physical custody of the girl."

Sawyer finally raised his glass and drank some of the contents.

"Wait a minute! You stood by and did nothing as Ray Steele kept Grey away from Ana because you thought he'd gone back to the BDSM, to being a Dom, but with what you just told me, he didn't, did he?" Sawyer breathed out a long breath: "Is that why you told him where they were?"

Taylor's shoulders drooped and his head was bowed. He answered looking down at his hands; his voice flat, the words uttered without any strength: "We all fucking judged him, Luke. Every single one of us who heard of that woman at the apartment judged him and found him guilty."

The silence covered them like a blanket. The minutes ticked by as they both wrestled with their feelings. Sawyer finally suggested they should go get some dinner.

His anger and disappointment with his friend was slowly ebbing away. He knew he shared some of the blame. He had made the same assumptions, reached the same verdict. He had just not allowed that to interfere with his job.

Taylor had a harder time letting go of the feelings of shame and regret that had filled him while confessing his mistakes and his failings as head of security. The conversation was sporadic, mostly about the training school and common acquaintances. Sawyer's phone interrupted the uneasy dinner conversation:

"Sawyer."

"Good evening, Luke, I hope I'm not interrupting you."

A pause, then: "Mrs Parson, good evening, no, not at all."

"Luke, everybody calls me Belle, I hope you could do that too."

"Of course, Belle."

"I… Dan and I have a few questions about… well, about a few things. You said I could call you."

"Yes I did. I think it might be best if we did this in person."

"That's fine. Where can we meet you?"

"I could come to you or if you'd prefer you could come to the hotel. I can arrange for a private area to talk."

"The hotel please, and could we do that tomorrow?"

"Certainly. When should I expect you?"

Dan's voice suggested: "Six o'clock"

"Luke, would six o'clock be a good time?"

"Yes, of course. Very well, I will meet you tomorrow at six in the lobby."

"Thank you. Until tomorrow then."

"Yes, until tomorrow."

**AN: Next chapter - Ana gets a glimpse of the truth. **


	7. Summer storm Ch7 Raindrops

******AN I am so happy you liked the last chapter! It is now time to start Ana on her journey of discovery of what really happened in the past and what CG has been up to in the years since. She has not read ch 6 so it will take some time before she gets the full picture...******

******FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look****** **Back**

Summer storm Ch 7 Raindrops

Ana and Dan greeted the new day hoping it will bring some answers. They left for work with a smile for each other and a reassuring squeeze of each other's hands. They were going to meet back at the house and then drive together to their meeting with Luke Sawyer.

Jason Taylor planned to remain in Rock Hill until Teddy Grey's birthday. Sawyer never answered his question as to why he was there, and he still thought it had something to do with the milestone in the young man's life. He had accepted Sawyer's decision to not include him in the meeting with Ana: tempting as it was to admit to her his involvement in the break up between her and Grey and finally relieve his guilty conscience, he remained convinced that that it would only unnecessarily burden her.

Luke was increasingly uncomfortable with his current assignment. He had of course reported Ana's phone call. As it had been the day before, his call was answered on the first ring with the same curt and to the point: "Grey."

"She called. I will meet her and Dan Parson tomorrow at six."

"Did you find a lawyer?"

"Yes, sir." Sawyer answered.

He had only hesitated for a second, but it had not gone unnoticed.

"You have had two months," Grey growled.

"It's not that - I found someone who I believe is reliable, qualified and his background came back clean. It's about Mrs Parson. I have reason to believe she is unaware of your attempts to contact her before she left Seattle."

The silence at the other end of the line lasted several seconds.

"Was it Ray Steele?" The voice was croaky, the words barely enunciated.

"Yes, sir." Sawyer answered. He could hear the laboured breathing at the other end. When the breathing quieted, he continued: "If she asks, what should I tell her?"

"Tell her what you know, Sawyer."

"Sir, respectfully, I might know more than you think."

Another long silence followed his statement. He could feel the air around him get colder with each passing second. Christian Grey did not take well to people prying into his private life, and this was as private as it got.

"She'll know if you are keeping something from her. Just answer her questions."

"Yes, sir."

Once again Sawyer was left with little choice but to hang up at his end.

He had arranged to meet Ana and Dan in the breakfast room of the hotel. It was normally not open to guests in the afternoon, but the hotel manager had been amenable… for a fee.

Ana and Dan arrived just two minutes after six. She was wearing a straight knee long dress with a thin belt and flats. Her petite figure looked even smaller next to Dan, who was head and shoulders taller than her and of stocky build. He was still dressed for the office. Sawyer watched them get out of the car. They exchanged a quick look before closing the doors. Dan nodded at her and finally lifted his eyes to scan the hotel entrance. That was Sawyer's cue: he stepped forward to greet them.

Moments later, introductions had been made and they were seated in the otherwise empty breakfast room - Ana and Dan together on the couch and Sawyer in a chair on the other side of the table. He had arranged for tea and coffee to be brought in and reminded the personnel that they were not to be disturbed.

"Dan, Belle, I will do my best to answer any questions you might have. I hope you understand that I might not have all the answers." He was looking at Ana, but they both nodded. "Before we begin, I'm afraid I will need you to sign this." He presented Dan with a letter sized piece of paper.

They both looked at it. Ana realized first what it was and raised her head with an incredulous look on her face. "You want Dan to sign an NDA?"

Sawyer shrugged. She glared at him.

"Please understand that we are bound to discuss matters that are private and possibly sensitive. This is nothing personal." Sawyer said with an apologetic look towards Dan.

More intrigued than affronted, Dan stretched out his palm. Sawyer handed him his heavy, obviously expensive pen and Dan signed the paper. Before returning it he asked: "Doesn't Belle get to sign one?"

Ana rubbed her forehead with her hand. "No,"she said. "He already has mine on file, don't you Luke? Did he put you up to this?"

"No. This is a matter of security - just doing my job."

"Your husband had you sign an NDA?" Dan interrupted.

"He was not my husband at the time." Ana had started speaking looking at Dan, but by the time she finished her gaze had shifted to Luke. She was not about to discuss that part of Christian's and hers relationship in front of Dan. Sawyer saw in Ana's eyes that she had received his message: not everything was open for discussion, at least not in front of Dan.

Ana took a deep breath: "Do you know what was in the documents you brought to me?"

Sawyer shook his head. He knew that Grey was going to attend his son's graduation, and suspected that this was what the letter was about, but he didn't know this for a fact.

"He has arranged for Eddy to start receiving money from his trust fund the week after graduation."

Sawyer's jaws tensed with the effort to contain his immediate reaction of 'Oh, fuck!'

Her eyes blazing, Ana continued: "There's also a cheque for me, for twenty million, and the paperwork for the house and GP."

Sawyer could feel his eyes getting dry, so he knew he must have been staring. He was going to kill Grey! 'I won't interfere' my ass! For these people, for anybody, that amount of money was life changing.

"I didn't know why, but he has asked me to find a lawyer for you. Someone trustworthy, not too far away, and who has no connections to GEH." He produced a business card from his pocket.

Ana looked at the card and shook her head. "Poor man. I assume by now you know his shoe size and the name of his high school girlfriend?"

Dan watched as the tips of Sawyer's ears turned pink. He shifted to look at Ana who explained: "Background security check."

"Oh," he said, "You know the man's shoe size, really?"

Ana sighed and waved her hand, dismissing the whole subject: "I don't care about his money, Luke. I never did and I never will."

She stopped, and when she continued she kept her eyes on Dan: "We have not yet decided what we are going to do about that," Dan tensed but didn't interrupt her, "For the trust fund, however, we don't seem to have a choice."

Ana leaned back against the wall: "If Eddy has any questions we want to be able to answer them." She hesitated and then asked: "I assume you know why I left?"

Sawyer mustered a curt nod.

"Monday, you said I returned his other letters unopened."

Dan tensed beside her, this was news for him: she had assured him Grey had never tried to make contact with her. Ana turned towards him: "I never received any letters, let alone return them." She could see he was not convinced. In light of all the revelations from the past two days, she couldn't blame him. She turned back to Sawyer: "What letters?"

"They were in the envelope, with paperwork for the divorce, the rings, the credit cards and a USB stick."

Ana's eyes lost focus for a moment. "The rings," her voice trembled, but she kept her emotions in check, "I asked dad to take them to Escala - I didn't want to risk them in the post," she continued, her voice getting more assured: "It had been a month since he'd signed the petition for the divorce, there was no point hanging around anymore. I gave Ray the rings and the credit cards. He dropped them off at Escala before we left Seattle," her words slowed down again, her voice sounding distant: "He had put them in a large envelope," she shook her head slowly from side to side: "I hadn't received the divorce decision yet, they told me it would take three months." Her hand flew to her mouth.

Dan put his arm around her shoulders: just how much had Ray interfered in her divorce?

Sawyer took in the shocked look on Ana's face and Dan's protective embrace. "I retrieved the envelope from the reception myself. I'm sorry, but I saw what was inside, I'm sure the letters were there."

"He wrote to me, before the divorce?"

"I only saw three unopened envelopes, addressed to you, in his handwriting."

In a determined voice, Ana asked: "Addressed to where?"

"Montesano."

"I never knew he wrote to me, Luke. If he thought...when did you start looking for us?"

"That day."

"But we only left that day; he couldn't have known we'd left!"

'Now what?' Sawyer thought. It was not a question, and he had received Grey's message loud and clear 'answer her questions' he had said, not 'tell her everything'. He had already implicated Ray - there was no need to bring Taylor and his covert security into this.

His hesitation was noticed: "He knew? But…how? There was no one there, there hadn't been since the first day!"

With regret evident in his gentle stare, he said: "There was a note, from Ray."

Ana kept pushing for details: "What did it say?"

"I will keep them away from you or die trying."

The colour drained from Ana's face at the threat in her father's words. "He threatened Christian away from us?"

"Luke, can you give us a moment, please?" Dan asked, his eyes on his wife.

Luke stood up and moved to the other end of the spacious room, giving them some privacy.

"Belle, sweetheart, are you alright?"

Her eyes were wild and her hands were shaking. "He…he threatened Christian? He kept the letters from me?"

"Your dad loved you very much, Belle, he was trying to protect you. What he did was wrong, but, I think, he meant well."

He let the words sink and poured her a cup of tea, the hot water first, then quickly swirling the teabag through it before discarding it. Ana stared at the cup while tears filled her eyes. The fact remained that Christian had taken a new sub and signed the divorce. Letters or not, he had gotten his sub pregnant and married her. She used a napkin to wipe her tears. She'll have time to think about Ray later, for now she had to concentrate on finding answers for Eddy's sake.

"I know. Let's finish this. I'll be fine. At least we know why he started looking for us: he must have seen dad's note as a challenge."

Dan was not so sure, but so far he had not learned anything to help him form his own opinion about Grey's motives. He nodded to Sawyer.

When they were all seated once again, Ana looked lost in thought, her hands wrapped around the tea cup. Dan cleared his throat: "I understand Christian found Belle and Eddy several years ago."

His use of the first name had been deliberate: he was not Grey's employee, he didn't owe him anything. He noticed Sawyer tense at the familiarity and held his stare. A curt nod indicated that his message had been received so he continued:

"Belle told me he has been here, that he has pictures of Eddy." He desperately wanted to know if the pictures included his wife, but he knew that either answer would rip yet another tear through her already tattered emotions so he chose a different question. "How many pictures? I mean, he must be a very busy man and we are quite a way from Seattle, so what are we talking about: a trip now and then every few years or…" He realized he was rambling. That, or the pained look on Luke Sawyer's face, made him stop.

"A few times a year." Came the hesitant answer.

Ana raised her eyes searching Sawyer's face: "How often does he come here, Luke?"

"Three, sometimes four, times a year."

"When?"

Sawyer tried to figure out how to phrase his answer to that question. He knew it would finally bring home to the two people in front of him just how closely Grey had been watching them.

As if talking to herself, Ana murmured: "Birthday's, New Year's…Which ones?"

The sadness on Dan's face told Sawyer he already suspected the answer. Resigned, he answered: "All of them."

"And the rest? You said three or four times, when else?" Ana questioned him, her voice still eerie.

"Forth of July, occasionally some other times."

"He has been here for all of Eddy's birthdays?" she insisted, her eyes again filling up, her lips trembling.

Sawyer hated, simply hated this. He could understand now why Taylor had kept his silence. What was the point in breaking her heart after all this time?

"He flies in and flies out the same day. He is only here for a few hours." This was the best he could do to lessen the impact of this most recent revelation.

"Who else knows about Belle and Eddy?" Dan's voice was strong and angry.

Both Ana and Sawyer snapped out their musings and turned to look at him. His voice was not the only thing advertising his anger: under his furrowed brows his eyes were wide, his shoulders pulled back in a straight line, his hands pressed flat on the table and his body coiled. He was staring straight at Sawyer and didn't even blink when Ana shifted besides him.

Sawyer's feet instinctively pushed against the floor, his body ready to jump out of the seat in response to the aggressive stance. He made a conscious effort to relax and let his body sag. He was unsure what he was supposed to do. It was not Ana who had asked. Did _she_ want to know?

"His family?" Dan prompted.

Remembering her own insecurity after the conversation with Kate, Ana understood where some of Dan's anger came from: that feeling of being a pawn in someone else's game, wondering how many lies he has been told, how much of his life, their life, was just make believe. Who else was secretly laughing at their pathetic attempt to escape the influence of Christian Grey? Her heart hammering against her chest, she covered one of Dan's hands with her own and curved her fingers under the side of his palm.

"Who knows about us, Luke?" She asked in a firm voice.

"A few people at GEH, Dr Trevelyan and Elliot Grey, but they don't know your names or where you are." He slowed down hoping one of them would interrupt. "His daughter." He looked at her intently: did she want him to continue? Her eyes blazed clear blue. He sighed.

"I have a security detail on him when he comes here."

Ana wondered why he would bring that up and then she realized: "They have seen Kate."

Sawyer nodded.

"Is Christian the reason for her sudden trip to Europe at the end of the month?"

Sawyer covered his surprise, but not quickly enough. It sounded like Grey had found a way to ensure Katherine was not going to witness his presence at the graduation. Ana tilted her head to one side: "You didn't know about that?"

He frowned - even if she wasn't there on the day, Katherine was bound to find out Grey had been the commencement speaker at graduation. They had kept the information confidential, but it had finally been released as of two days ago. What game was Grey playing?

Ana had seen the surprise on Sawyer's face shift to confusion and now a hint of anger. She sighed: "Welcome to my world."

That remark defused Dan's anger more than Sawyer's fragmented answer to his question. The man in front of him was just the messenger.

"So Christian knows that Kate knows about us, but Kate doesn't know that Christian knows she knows," Ana shook her head, "This is like a bad mystery book." She rubbed her hand over her forehead. "A really bad mystery book," she sighed. "Everybody else had cut ties with us, Luke. Kate is the only one who cared." She summoned the courage to ask the question that had burned inside of her: "Do they ever ask about us, the rest of the family?"

Hearing the pain in his wife's voice, Dan put what remained of his anger aside and moved his hand from underneath hers in order to place his arm around her shoulders. His face was still stern and his gaze intense when he met Sawyer's. The two men locked eyes: Dan's were clearly telling Sawyer to back off; the sadness in Sawyer's was a warning that there was more to come. Husband trumps messenger, Sawyer decided. He allowed Dan to take over.

"Belle, does it really matter? It's their loss, you know, you and Eddy."

Ana heard him, heard the words, but there was something more at stake here than her own pain. "We need to know, for Eddy, if he asks."

She looked at Sawyer, expectantly.

"They asked me, when I was looking for you."

With unmistakable bitterness in her voice, Ana said: "So they all waited until after the divorce. Did they think I would take his money? That I was a gold digger? Is that why nobody had any contact with me while we were in Montesano?"

"No! They don't think you were a gold digger, they know you didn't ask for anything."

"We were right there, Luke. We were in Montesano for two months!"

"They tried -"he stopped abruptly.

Ana leaned her head to one side: "What did they try?"

"They tried to contact you." Sawyer answered in a gentle voice. "I know Dr Trevelyan tried. She came to…us, when you didn't answer her messages. She wanted reassurance that you were all right."

'Déjà vu', the expression describing the overwhelming sense of familiarity with something that shouldn't be familiar at all, echoed uselessly in Ana's mind. She shook her head from left to right, with enough force to make her short curls sway. "She didn't! She didn't leave any messages! I never received any messages!"

The realization was making Dan's eyes wide, while Sawyer's face was tense and his eyes squinted, making him look in pain.

Ana kept defending herself: "They could have come by or asked Kate, they just didn't."

"I'm sorry." It was all Sawyer had to offer her.

"They did? Grace tried to contact me?!"

At Sawyer's slow affirmative nod, Ana stood up and walked around the table, to the middle of the vast room, then turned around, arms crossed over her chest: "Christian sent me letters and Grace sent me messages." She stated

Sawyer nodded. Ana's eyes met Dan's. She started pacing back and forth. She paced the length of the room twice before she returned to the table and looked down at the two men. "I didn't know. I don't know what I would have done or said, but I didn't know."

Dan reached out, took her hand and gently pulled her towards him until he had to scoot over and she was once again seated beside him. "Luke," he said, "All this was a long time ago. Christian has known about Belle and Eddy for years and has chosen to keep his distance. In his letter he says he will not make himself known to Eddy and he has changed the trust fund so Eddy can accept it and still not find out about him. The gesture is very generous, but does not involve him in anything. All these years, all the effort…why choose to be at Eddy's graduation?"

Ana had listened attentively while Dan was talking. His words had helped ground her. That's why they were here. Regardless of the past, what did Christian want now?

"I don't know why he finally accepted to deliver the speech. I know the University and some local charity had been chasing his press office for months before he accepted."

"Is it true then," Ana asked, "He didn't arrange for this? He was really invited?"

Sawyer shook his head, his lips curving into a tight smile: "Rather hounded into it. The reason for inviting him is that it's the tenth anniversary of an award he sponsors. One of the students appears to be unhappy with the terms of this award. She has written to him over a dozen times in the past year. As far as I am aware he has not replied to her, so I believe the young lady has found another way to approach him," all traces of amusement gone from his face, he continued: "Dan, Belle, I don't know why Mr Grey has chosen a specific course of action. What I know is that he has sent me specifically to reassure you that he will not interfere."

"He sent me twenty million dollars, Luke!"

Sawyer locked eyes with her: "He sent you a cheque. He did not deposit them in your bank account."

As understanding dawned on Ana, Dan scoffed: "Could that be because he doesn't know her bank account?"

Sawyer and Ana turned their heads towards him at the same time.

"Luke?" she asked.

He sighed. "Not that I know of."

Dan looked pensive. Luke decided to give him a little insight into just how much detail Grey could learn about somebody.

"Size 9 and Joyce Travis, 9th grade," he said dead-pan.

Dan and Ana stared at him.

"The lawyer's shoe size and first girlfriend," he explained.

Ana only shook her head, but Dan had a concerned frown on his face.

"Are you going to report all of this back to him?" asked Ana.

"Yes."

Ana looked at Dan. He held her gaze for a moment then nodded.

She had thought about how to reply to Christian's letter since Dan pointed out why Christian had worded it that way, leaving the decisions up to her but also sending a message that he remembered. Her reply to his email back then had been 'I would appreciate a lift'. She had decided to send her own message with her reply: this was no longer about her, about them, but, yes, she did remember.

"Tell him we'll tell Eddy about the trust fund after graduation. It will be up to him, what happens next. And that I appreciate the warning."

**AN: next chapter: CG, present day**


	8. Summer Storm Ch8 Plans

**AN: Moving the story to Seattle for this chapter.** **Again thank you for all the reviews and the PMs. I hope you like this chapter on my favourite character of the story.**

******FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look****** **Back**

Ch 8 Plans

The next day, the man responsible for the turmoil in Ana and Dan's life was seated in his comfortable chair in the imposing office on the top floor of the GEH headquarters, listening to his Director of Security. He had had his suspicions for a long time and now they were finally confirmed: Anastasia had never known that either he or anyone else had tried to contact her. Sawyer finished his report with the message she had sent him.

"Are those her exact words: that she appreciates the warning?"

"Yes, sir."

He bit his cheek to stop the emotion from showing in his face but there was nothing he could do about his heart hammering against his chest. She remembered! He had received the rest of the message as well: it will be up to Teddy. He was fine with that. His only wish was that the trust fund would not be rejected entirely. He had also heard the "we" part: she and Dan, together. It was still painful to think of her as not his but the years and the numerous occasions when he had seen them together had tamed the initial burning rage to a dull ache somewhere deep inside.

He looked at the pictures framing the door and permitted himself a small smile. This was the first time in all the years that he had any kind of confirmation that he was not completely forgotten. She had chosen to let him know that! He turned his eyes back to the man seated in front of him:

"Thank you, Sawyer, I realize this was not part of your usual duties. Now for Jason Taylor: he has Anastasia and Teddy under surveillance. I want to know why. And I want to know what the two of you have been discussing. How much information did you give him?"

Sawyer's took a long look at his employer. He had thought a few things over since the startling revelations in his hotel room. His frustration had been building over three days, so he did something he had very rarely done in this room: he stood and started pacing. When he stopped he looked straight at the man behind the desk.

"I didn't tell Jason anything because there was nothing for me to tell him. He had more accurate information than I had and he had information that I did not possess."

"I see. How much did he tell you?"

Sawyer was still standing, still seething. Eventually he sat down.

"Everything, I think."

Grey nodded then looked at him with that look he got when looking over a spread sheet and seeing something nobody else did.

"'Is this a dagger which I see before me...'" he quoted. As his visitor did not seem to recognize the line he explained: "Macbeth, a play by Shakespeare. He is driven crazy by guilt."

"You are aware of Jason's involvement?!"

"Lack of involvement." Grey clarified "I figured it out some time ago. He was too good at his job to not have noticed how odd the whole situation was. He had to have made a deliberate choice to not alert me to what was happening."

His intercom chimed: "Mr Grey, I apologize for the interruption, sir. You have a telephone conference with the governor and Senator Williams in ten minutes."

While Grey was distracted by the intercom Sawyer prepared himself to bring up the most disturbing detail from his conversation with Jason. He had debated whether to bring it up at all but this whole situation had started with people withholding information and besides this had a potential to become a security issue somewhere down the line. So he steeled himself for the outburst that was bound to come, send a quick thank you to whatever deity had Grey due for a meeting in a few minutes and cleared his throat.

"Sir, of the things Jason told me there is one that might become a security issue."

Grey's only answer was a raised eyebrow indicating that this should better be good. Everybody knew he loathed being late.

"It's about Miss Grey, sir. Jason knows Marlene then Watkinson's pregnancy started while she was in Vegas."

The impassive business man seated on the other side of the table had disappeared before he finished his sentence. In his place was now a man with a face like thunder, glowing stare and clenched fists resting on the desk, his tense back and neck muscles stretching the fabric of his suit.

"So?" the single word was thrown at him through clenched teeth

"You were in Seattle at the time, sir."

To his credit Sawyer didn't flinch when the dragon now facing him threw his chair back and stood, one fist slamming the table. He remained very still and very quiet, barely daring to watch while Grey paced away from the desk. At one point he felt the hairs raise at the back of his neck and he knew a pair of angry grey eyes had landed on him. Eventually Grey paced back to his place behind the desk. Still standing he crossed his arms and asked:

"And how would that become a security issue?"

Had he dared Sawyer would have breathed a sigh of relief. Grey was still angry but this was board room angry, not homicidal fury. This he could deal with.

"If Jason and I made the connection, others might as well." He explained as succinctly as he could.

A couple of seconds passed while Grey was processing the statement from his Director of Security, then he sat back down. Sitting straight in his chair, his shoulders were still tense but his impassive mask was back on.

"Besides Taylor and now you, the only other people who know about this are Marlene, Samantha and I. Jason Taylor is the only person who could verify my whereabouts in November that year. Are you telling me this might become an issue?"

"No, sir. I don't think Jason would go public or act on this. But I don't have enough information to determine if Marlene Randall, ex Watkins, might at some point do just that."

Grey nodded once: "I will deal with Marlene. I want Taylor placed on the proscribed list for all the Greys and all GEH locations. I have measures in place in Rock Hill to prevent him from approaching Anastasia. Carolina however is different. I want you to formulate a plan to keep him away from Anastasia and Teddy while they are there."

"Sir, there is very little time left for me to recruit and brief reliable outside security."

"You have a suggestion?"

"Your personal detail: they all know what Mrs Parson and Teddy look like. They are also familiar with the chain of command and communication protocols. All they need is a brief regarding Jason Taylor."

Grey was again studying the man seated in front of him. In the two years since he had promoted Sawyer to his present position he had not had a single occasion to regret that decision. Sawyer was by far the best Director of security he had had and he hoped to keep him for a long time. But he had not built GEH on hope. He decided to address the obvious issue straight on:

"I am aware that he is your friend, Sawyer. If you think you might have a conflict of interest I want to know now."

"My friendship with Jason will not be a problem, sir."

"Very well then. Brief McKenzie. I expect to see a plan of action before this goes any further."

Sawyer had barely closed the office door behind him when his intercom buzzed again: "The governor and Senator Williams are on line two, sir."

It took twenty minutes of trying to insert some business sense into what was a purely political proposal but eventually they agreed that some members of the GEH mergers and acquisitions team will sit down with a few of the senator's staff. The revised proposal was for a scheme that would offer small and medium sized businesses the type of expert advice GEH provided when restructuring a new acquisition.

For the next two hours Christian lost himself in what he did best: ponder over rows and columns of numbers until they told him the full story of the business they represented then deal with the weaknesses, exploit the strengths and turn the numbers into profits and jobs. His decision made on the latest business proposal, he shut down his computer with one hand and picked up the phone with the other.

"Bailey", was the single word answer.

"You have the go ahead for the Nebraska project, but only if Donovan can pull it off with local resources." He said, not bothering to introduce himself.

Before he had the time to hang up the female voice at the other end asked: "And Charleston?"

"You know better than that Ros. No GEH involvement in the south east."

Daring where eagles fear to tread she insisted: "Christian, I really think you should reconsider this one."

Ros Bailey had worked for him for thirty years. They had a tremendous respect for each other's abilities. She was the COO of the company and the only person allowed to address him by his first name. Christian new why she was asking, it was a unique opportunity. But his position on this was not negotiable. With a look at the two portraits of the woman he loved he told his most trusted employee: "The answer is no. I will be out of the office for the rest of the day. We'll discuss the situation in Mexico tomorrow."

With that he hung up. One look through the floor to ceiling glass windows overlooking Seattle confirmed that while the skies were cloudy it was not raining.

Stepping out of his office he nodded to Gregor McKenzie, his current CPO and head of his personal security, and pressed the button of the executive elevator.

While Christian started his descent towards the GEH parking, his mother, Dr Grace Trevelyan Grey, was being shown to a secluded table in the restaurant of the Fairmont Olympic. She knew that the deference the waiting staff was showing her was only partly due to her advanced age. The main reason was that she was Christian Grey's mother.

Seated facing the window she was lost in her own thoughts when a slight hush descended upon the half full room. Her son had arrived. The third richest man in the state of Washington, forty or fifty or thereabouts in the country, he was a well-known figure in Seattle. Respected by most, feared by some, occasionally hated, for her he was just her son: the little boy who was brought to a hospital in Detroit more dead than alive and who had stolen her heart the moment their eyes had met. It was Grace's biggest regret that his eyes would still occasionally reflect the pain and the fear of the hurt and lonely four-year-old boy she had adopted.

Among the sounds of resuming conversations and gentle clinking of silverware against fine china she lifted her eyes to greet him with a smile.

"Mother." He said bending to place a kiss on her cheek.

"Christian, how are you darling?" she asked.

Most of their meal was spent discussing the trip to Europe that Grace intended as a birthday present for Samantha Grey, Christian's daughter. She was going to be eighteen in August. By the end of the meal they had agreed that the trip would take place the month before her birthday. Her actual birthday was on the 15th and Christian planned to give her his present on that day.

A little weary on how to broach the next subject Grace waited for the waiter to remove the plates from their main course before saying: "You know she would like to go out with her friends for her birthday?"

Christian never gave his mother 'the stare', but he was so surprised that she had felt the need to intervene on his daughter's behalf that he almost did this time. Catching himself in time he replied: "Yes, of course I know."

Having raised Sam as a single father, he had done all he could to have a good relationship with her. He knew Samantha trusted him and respected him. He was fairly sure she was not afraid of him, or afraid to talk to him. Sam and him were as close as a parent and child could be and presented a united front before strangers, staff and family. Any disagreements they had, they resolved privately.

The question of her birthday party did not even qualify as a disagreement. She had asked him and he had said he would consider the options. True, it had been almost a week. Even so, feeling the need to enrol his mother's support to sway him would be a first. Concerned he asked: "When did Sam talk to you about it?"

Grace knew how important his relationship with his daughter was for Christian so she explained: "She asked my opinion a couple of weeks ago. I think she was worried considering what happened at Ava's party."

They were both silent for a moment. Ava was Kate and Elliot's daughter and had had a party for her eighteenth birthday earlier in the year. Samantha had left after a short while and had only commented that 'It was not her kind of party'. Eventually the security detail assigned to the event had called Greg McKenzie who had called Christian who had called Elliot.

The three men had arrived at the rented venue and were greeted by the smell of alcohol and cigarettes and the sight of drunken teenagers, some of them in less than decent clothing. That had led to another epic fight between Kate and Elliot with Elliot wanting to punish Ava and Kate defending her and making the usual snarky remarks about Christian and his controlling ways. Unfortunately Grace had overheard the end of the screaming match.

"I don't think she needs to worry about that." Christian said

"Of course not." Grace replied. "Wait, does this mean you plan to allow her to go out?"

His eyes crinkled with just a hint of amusement that he had managed to surprise his mother, Christian confirmed: "Yes. I trust my daughter."

Assessing him, Grace slowly placed her napkin on the table. "Christian, what have you done?"

With a sigh and a gentle look for his mother Christian explained: "I have reached an agreement with a club. She can have as many friends as she wants."

"Samantha Grey will be attending a night club with her friends?"

"With security, of course."

Grace only looked at him without saying anything. Christian ran a hand through his hair before continuing: "Her CPO will be no more than 5 feet away from her at any time. All the employees have been vetted and have signed NDAs. There will be fifteen security-trained guests in the venue, posing as patrons and another ten will be on standby. My own team will replace the usual door bouncers and they will ensure no professional cameras are allowed to enter the venue. Three senior security staff will be monitoring the CCTV and will liaise with the undercover team to deal with any pictures taken using mobile phones. Several members of the IT and PR departments will monitor social media for anything uploaded despite all the other measures and will deal with whatever gets posted during the evening and the following three days. Somebody from legal will be on standby in case they are needed."

By the end of his tirade Grace's eyes were swimming in unshed tears. It was common knowledge that Christian was serious about protecting his daughter's privacy. Few however realized to what lengths he was going in order to do so and the amount of effort and preparation it took to enable her to participate in activities outside the house or the school.

Trying to lighten the mood she teased him as she usually did when he went overboard: "Is there any point in asking how much this cost?"

Recognizing the old tease, Christian played along, rolling his eyes and replying with his customary: "No, there isn't." And continued, already half standing: "Shall we?"

When Grace held her hand out for him he helped her out of her chair and they made their way to the exit, with Christian nodding at a few acquaintances as they passed their tables.

Grace had kept the lunch conversation on neutral subjects but in the privacy of his car she finally told him: "Something is bothering you."

Looking through the tinted window rather than at his mother Christian confessed: "I have sent Anastasia a letter."

Grace could not stifle the surprised gasp.

Still looking through the window he said: "We had a trust fund set up for Teddy when he was born. He was meant to receive the first cheque the Monday after graduation."

After a short pause, his body stiffening with determination he turned his head towards his companion and concluded: "And he will."

Grace had accepted Christian's reasons to stay away from Ana and his son, but she also knew how much that decision had cost him. She had witnessed the joy in Christian's eyes when he had new pictures to show her and his pride in Teddy's achievements. She had also witnessed the pain inflicted by the knowledge that he was not a part of his son's life and the longing when he looked at the pictures of Teddy and Ana.

Very gently, carefully, she asked: "Have you changed your mind, about staying away?"

"No. There are no names, except his new one, on the legal paperwork."

Grace knew Christian had to be aware that the sudden appearance of a trust fund in Teddy's life would raise questions. She wondered if he was lying to himself when he said he had not changed his decision to keep his distance.

"Christian!" She admonished.

With a sigh he ran his hand through his hair and resumed looking through the window: "He is my son", he said, the words a plea for her to understand.

Grace remained quiet so he turned again to look at her and with pride and wonder in his voice he informed her: "He has been accepted at Harvard, to study law."

Once again Grace's eyes were filed with tears. Carrick would have been so proud! Five years after he had passed away she still missed him, her husband and her soul mate. Christian's hand griping hers interrupted the sad thoughts. What was done was done. It was his decision, his family. All she could do was to be there for him and support him. She squeezed his hand with her own.

Leaning his head to one side Christian observed her.

"You don't approve."

Grace sighed: "I know he is your son. I miss him too. It's just…this is going to be a lot to take in, especially since you don't know what he has been told about you. Do you even know if he is aware that he has a different father?"

"Yes, he is."

Shaking her head Grace asked: "Do I want to know how you know this?"

Shrugging Christian answered: "There is no name for the father on his birth certificate. His last name was changed to his current one, but he was never adopted."

The car was passing through the gates to her house in Bellevue as Grace was yet again left wondering how Christian could be so casual about admitting he knew confidential information about other people. When they stopped in front of the impressive property Christian helped her out of the car and into the house.

Reaching up to touch his face with one hand Grace told him: "You know I'm here if you want to talk about it, about anything."

"I know Mom."

As he was uncharacteristically lingering in the foyer Grace asked: "Do you want to come in?"

"I think I should, but not for long. I have some work to do and I need to talk to Sam."

Moments later they were seated in the comfortable living room, Grace with a cup of tea and Christian with a coffee. Several minutes passed in silence, Christian apparently fascinated by the cup of coffee in his hand. Grace had learned long ago to not try and press Christian for answers. Whatever it was that he felt he needed to tell her he would do so in his own time.

He finally took a sip of the coffee and informed her: "I have been asked to deliver the Commencement Speech at Teddy's graduation. And I have accepted."

This was, Grace knew, why he had seemed so troubled. The trust fund might cause some trouble, raise some questions, but he had said it was set up anonymously. The graduation ceremony, that was personal. He was going to stand face to face with his son and shake his hand. And Ana will be there as well. Grace knew Christian was travelling regularly to see them, although he had refused to tell her where they lived. And suddenly her mind was made up.

"I want to come with you. I want to be there."

She was prepared to have to convince her son and was preparing her arguments when she noticed the look on his face was not of resistance but of concern.

"Mom, will you think about it? It's going to be…emotional."

That was an understatement if she had ever heard one. To see her grandson in person for the first time since he was a toddler, to witness Christian shaking hands with his son…just the thought was filling her eyes with tears. Quickly dabbing them away she asked: "Will Sam be there?"

"Yes, she will."

"I want to come. It won't be too much. Please Christian."

He had known that she would want to come and the only thing holding him back was the fear that it would be too much for her. She was seventy four and there were days when she looked frail and tired. The past few years had been hard on her: Carrick passing away, Elliot and Kate's constant marital problems and more recently the knowledge that Elliot had a son with one of his mistresses. A son he had kept hidden for twelve years and of which Kate was, they all believed, still not aware. At least Teddy's graduation was a happy occasion.

"Mom, if you are sure, I would be happy to have you there."

"Oh, Christian, yes I'm sure, of course I'm sure. When is it?"

"The ceremony is on May 27th. We will leave the day before and would you mind staying over the weekend? There is a charity fundraiser on the 29th and I have been asked to attend. They do much the same work as Coping Together and they have helped me with a couple of projects in the past."

"Of course I'll stay. Would you like me to come to the fund raiser?"

"Only if you want to. If the press can be contained I might ask Sam to come as well. I think it will take some of the pressure off her to be away from Seattle for her first official public appearance."

"You'll ask her? Christian she has been begging you for two years to let her come with you!" Grace said laughing.

Christian would have rather not spoiled his mother's good mood but there was something he needed to clarify before the wheels were set in motion for this trip.

"Mom, I still want to keep Teddy's identity hidden from Elliot. I think I can convince Elliot to leave Teddy alone but I am not so sure that I can keep him away from Ana."

The good mood vanished from Grace's face and was replaced with pursed lips and squinted eyes. Christian sighed: "She didn't know mom. Ana didn't know any of us tried to get in touch with her."

"And that justified taking your son away?"

"Mom, we've been through this before. I share much of the blame. I've made some bad choices and in the end it was my decision to let them live away from me."

Grace looked down to hide from her son some of the anger she still felt over Ana's actions. She knew Christian had had an affair so she could understand the divorce, but leaving Seattle with their child the way she had, cutting them all off like that, that she couldn't understand.

Christian's warm hand covered hers over the tea cup. She looked up to see him crouching besides her: "Mom, I know you are still angry and hurt, but try to see things from her side. I have confirmed now that it was not her that had cut ties. It was all her father. What you feel, the way you feel about her cutting ties, that is how she must have felt then. She was so young and I left her and Teddy alone in Montesano. I should have gone to them then, but I didn't. If Raymond Steele managed to persuade me that I should stay away, what chance did she have to resist her father?"

The grey eyes looking into hers were gentle but worried.

"You love her."

A small smile stretched his lips and some of the worry left his eyes.

"That makes you biased." She pointed out.

"Perhaps." He answered his smile still in place then his face getting serious again he watched her carefully while reminding her: "I ran away too, in a fashion. I had a whole team of professionals to help me through it and I had you and dad and Elliot."

They had had this discussion before. Grace knew Christian was blaming himself for being weak and shutting down, for giving up hope. She knew he thought that had he been stronger they would have found Ana sooner and perhaps things would have been different. With a shuddering breath she gave in: "All right, I'll try, for you."

"And you'll keep this from Elliot?"

"I don't want to lie to him, Christian. He'll know I am leaving town with you."

"You can tell him about the charity ball, just not the graduation."

Christian left once the details of their trip had been agreed. Grace watched him make his way to the waiting car, the door opened by his CPO while the driver had already started the engine. Her happiness at finally going to see Teddy in person was bitter sweet. Christian would never speak of it, but she knew it was going to be a tremendous effort for him to maintain his mask of impassivity while greeting his son.

**AN: Next chapter part 3/4 of why their lives took this particular turn: Ana's POV on the separation**


	9. Summer Storm Ch 9 Snapping twigs

******AN: To all the American readers I hope you have enjoyed a happy Thanksgiving with your friends and families. On the other side of the pond we have to wait for the turkey roast another few weeks. We have however "enjoyed" Black Friday today...******

******On to the story and to Ana's POV of the events that led to the end of her first marriage.******

******FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look****** **Back**

Ch 9 Snapping twigs

After the meeting with Sawyer, Dan insisted on one change to their plans for the weekend: they would celebrate Eddy's birthday in Columbia. Ana could understand he was not comfortable knowing Christian was watching so she did not tell him that a change in location would not stop a determined Christian Grey. What would that accomplish other than make him uncomfortable?

She was torn between the heart breaking image of Christian standing somewhere in the shadows, snapping pictures of his son, year after year, and the anger and disappointment that he had never made contact with them, never tried to get to know Eddy. In light of the new information, that Christian had looked for them, that Grace had tried to contact her, the last year in Seattle kept playing on her mind.

Once she had returned to work after Eddy's birth, life had been hectic. Christian was working more, she was at work, they had and endless stream of social engagements to attend to and then he had started talking about another baby.

She was happy at GP, she was preparing two books for publishing and had a stack of manuscripts to vet. Before Eddy was born there had not been enough time for her to do more than learn the basics of her new job and then she had stayed at home for just over one year. She was not ready to go back to staying at home with a new born. In March Mia had announced her engagement to Antonio and the wedding preparations had added to her already overfull plate. By June Christian had had enough and had taken her and Teddy away on a two week holiday on a privately owned island. They finally had time for each other as a couple and as a family and before they returned to Seattle she had promised she would seriously think about having another baby.

But they had barely landed back home before reality took over again: Mia's wedding was only two months away, both books were due for publishing in September, Christian worked late or was out of town on business… When she had to start travelling as well to help promote the books, they had their first real fight, complete with raised voices and slammed doors. They made up and found hope in the knowledge that after September things would quiet down. They both made an effort to clear some of their work schedules and cut back on social engagements and were looking forward to having more quiet time at home.

The weekend after Mia's wedding Christian told her he had to leave for a week and she had jumped at the chance to take some time off herself, take Teddy and go to Montesano, away from the hectic life in Seattle, and think about what she really wanted.

The last few days Christian had seemed a little distant. She had caught him a few times watching her with a frown and a pensive look on his face. The last Saturday they had a dinner to attend to. With the three of them soon to be out of town for several days Christian had approved for Taylor, Gail and Sawyer to also take some time off, so they had left Teddy with Grace and Carrick and after the dinner spent the night at Escala. Sunday morning she had suggested that they could go into the play room. Christian did not seem as keen as she was and kept asking her if she was sure it was what she wanted. Their session had been more vanilla than it had ever been in that room, Christian for once not really taking control. The drive to Bellevue had been quiet, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

Monday night, the night before his trip, he had come home earlier than usual. He was obviously preoccupied and no amount of reassurance that she and Teddy will be fine in Montesano seemed to shake him out of his mood. She went to put Teddy down for the night and when she came downstairs again Christian was sitting at the piano, his hands idly caressing the keys, not making any sound. He had stood up and came to where she was standing in the door way. He had apologized for having been angry and short tempered in the previous months and for putting pressure on her about the baby. He had been tender and caring and come morning his last kiss had been slow and gentle.

Ana clenched her fists until her nails bit into the palm of her flesh. She would not cry. What she had though was his good bye kiss was actually the apologetic kiss of a cheating husband.

The peace she had felt after their night together and that gentle kiss was shattered only hours later when she went to Escala to look for her tablet and saw the video with that woman kneeling in front of Christian. She did not want it to be true, did not want to believe. For a moment she considered asking Jordan to erase the tape, but settled for asking him to hand it over to her. She had dashed up the stairs to the Red Room. The door was unlocked. She was certain Christian had locked it before they left the apartment Sunday. Her eyes roamed over the familiar furniture until they landed on the small table next to the bed. Christian had had it put there for her, for them. He kept some massage oil and arnica cream and soft towels there. He always took care of her before they went back downstairs. That morning the arnica cream was missing.

Her world crashing around her, she had closed the door and let her feet carry her to the old sub room at the end of the corridor. With no strength left she had opened the door to see the scene that will forever be imprinted in her mind: a woman sleeping in the bed, her jet black hair spilling on the pillows, the top of her naked back marked with red lines. On the bedside table the tube of arnica cream was lying on its side. The last few days finally had an explanation: he had not wanted her into the red room because he already had somebody to take there, someone with whom he didn't have to hold back. She had pushed him too far, pushed him into needing a sub.

She had stormed out of the apartment but could not go to Montesano when she was this angry and confused and hurt. She went to Kate instead. Kate was about to leave for work but she called in sick and stayed with her, listened to her. It's from Kate's that she had sent Christian a message: "_There seem to be a guest at Escala. Want to talk about it?" _She knew he would be in the air and would not get her message for hours so she had left for Montesano as planned, hoping to use the time before his reply to put her thoughts in order, to try and figure out how she could save her marriage.

But then, as far as she knew, that was it: Christian never replied and her messages to Grace remained unanswered. She had spoken with Jordan on the first morning when she realized the security detail was not there but after that her calls did not even go to voice mail no matter whom she called: Grey house, GP, Jordan, Reynolds…

That was the part where Sawyer's story no longer matched her memory and that was something she was going to address this week end.

Saturday morning she was putting the finishing touches to Eddy's cake when the doorbell announced a visitor.

"Emma, can you get the door please?"

Her shouted question was only met by silence so she put the spatula down and wiped her hands on her apron and went to open the door herself. She got there just as the bell was chiming for a second time.

"Moooom! Someone at the dooooor!" was heard from upstairs.

She rolled her eyes and opened the door to find Kate Kavanagh Grey standing there with her perfectly glossed lips in a slight pout. Her blond hair was pinned up with a few curls framing her face, her not-so-light make-up in slight contrast with her casual attire of white trousers and coral pink blouse.

"Kate" Ana smiled, "come in".

She moved aside to not risk any chocolate frosting anywhere near Kate's immaculate presence.

"Belle", Kate took a step forward then stopped when she took in her friend's appearance. Ana had not bothered with make-up and was wearing a plain t-shirt with jeans and sandals and right now a chocolate stained apron covering her from her breasts to her knees.

"Chocolate cake," Ana explained.

"Oh, right. Is the birthday boy home already?"

"Um, no, there has been a slight change in plans. Why don't you go upstairs while I finish the cake? You can join me in the kitchen. I think Dan has the barbecue going, Emma should be in her room."

Kate had been to their house often enough to be familiar with the layout. She dropped her travel bag in the guest room and changed her white trousers to a pair of black ones and her high heeled designer shoes for flats. She didn't stop to say hello to Emma. There was something she needed to tell Belle and she hoped they could have a few quiet moments.

By the time she arrived downstairs Dan was in the kitchen doing god knows what with several slices of meat.

"Hi Dan, nice to see you!"

"Hello Kate." He said, then covered the meat and turned to Ana: "I still need to get the champagne. I should be back in less than an hour. I thought I'd take Emma with me."

A look passed between the spouses, then Ana nodded.

Surprised by the frosty reception Kate sat on a bar stool by the kitchen counter.

When Dan left the kitchen without another word she asked: "Is everything all right? Dan seemed a bit…"she waved her hand.

The good mood had vanished from Ana's face. She sighed: "We need to talk. But let Dan and Emma go first. In the meantime why don't you tell me how you have been? How's Ava? Has she decided where she wants to go in the fall?"

Kate launched in a description of the difficulties of running the media company she had inherited from her father and bemoaning the lack of true stories to report on and then into how Ava had a hard time choosing between WSU and UCLA. Emma came by to say hello to 'Aunt Kate' and then the front door banged and the house was quiet.

"I've made coffee, let's go sit down." Ana said

"Oh, Belle, sweetie, I think I know what this is about." Said Kate as she swivelled around and moved from her perch by the kitchen counter to a seat at the table.

A questioning glance from Ana was all the answer she got. "I checked the university web page yesterday and I saw the name for the Commencement speaker".

Ana nodded, still collecting her thoughts, wondering how she was going to bring her last few weeks in Seattle into the conversation.

"I know you asked me not to speak about him, but…"Kate's eyes were crinkled with genuine worry. "I don't know if there's anything I can do but if there is, I'm here for you, you know that."

"Kate, I have been thinking, wondering, about that time before I left Seattle."

She watched as Kate seemed to withdraw from her, leaning back in the chair, moving her hand over the surface of the table, left to right, caressing the polished surface.

"That was such a long time ago", Kate said. "We should talk about what to do about the graduation."

"I don't think there is anything any of us can do about that, Kate. Christian is going to be there whether we want him to or not."

Surprised at the apparent ease with which her friend spoke the name that had been banned from their conversations for almost twenty years, Kate frowned: "But…"

Ana raised a hand to stop her:"I've been thinking about my dad a lot."

Kate relaxed a little at that.

"I know he loved me, he wanted to protect me. That first night, when we arrived in Montesano, he was upset for me. But he asked me if I was sure, told me that Christian loved me. I went upstairs with Eddy and fell asleep."

"I don't remember all the details like that, but I'm sure you are right."

"But then that's it Kate. The next morning he had completely changed his mind. He couldn't even speak about Christian; he started talking about a divorce…I keep wondering if something happened that night to change his opinion."

Kate's cheeks were slightly flushed by the time Ana finished speaking.

"You were there with him, Kate. What did the two of you talk about that evening?"

Kate stood up and started pacing through the kitchen. "What does it matter now? I can't remember everything we said. Of course he was upset for you, any father would take his daughter's side. Why would you think it has something to do with me?"

Ana shook her head: "I didn't say that, but…You never liked Christian, the two of you never got along, so I am just wondering."

"You know why I didn't like him. He was controlling you, controlling every move you made, everything you did you had to run it by him first, get his permission."

"He was my husband Kate, that was my choice. And you make it sound much worse than it was."

"He cheated on you!"

"He was not the first husband that ever cheated on his wife. You…it was as if you wanted revenge on him. You wanted me to take his money, his company!"

"He wasn't just cheating on you! I saw the tape. Is that what he wanted from you? To kneel in front of him?" Kate was shouting, pacing through the small kitchen, waving her arms around.

A stunned Ana took a moment to be able to speak: "You saw the tape? When did you see it?"

A hand on her hips, the other nervously fiddling with her hair, Kate stopped pacing: "That night, after you went to bed. I know I shouldn't have but I …You had proof of the great Christian Grey being less than perfect, I wanted to see it for myself." She sat down heavily on the chair.

Ana watched her friend and a picture started forming in her mind: Ray's house was smaller than this one; there was not a lot of space for privacy. The computer was on a table in the corner of the living room.

"Where did you watch it? The tape, where were you when you watched it?"

Tears forming in her eyes Kate replied: "In the living room."

"Kate, did my father see the tape?!"

Kate's tears were now running down her cheeks: "I'm sorry, Ana! I didn't mean for it to happen!"

"What happened, Kate?"

"Ray saw the tape. He got so angry! He asked what that was all about, he wanted to ask you. I panicked. If he asked you anything you would know I watched the tape, so I told him. I told him about the BDSM and the Dom-Sub thing. He was angry with me for keeping that from him so I told him about Christian, how he controlled you, how he made you keep his secret."

Ana's eyes were now filled with tears as well: "My father thought I was Christian's submissive?"

Kate didn't answer, didn't even nod.

"Oh, God, poor dad! No wonder he wanted to keep me away from him. How could you let him think that, Kate?" Ana shouted the question.

"Well it was the truth, wasn't it? You always did as he told you, always had his security following you around, reporting to him on your every move."

"That was a security measure, Kate! He was protecting me, not controlling me!" Ana narrowed her eyes: "The security detail left that night. Jordan said Christian had ordered them back to Seattle. Did dad contact Christian?"

"Yes, he did. He sent him a text and before you ask I don't know what he said."

They looked at each other, angry blue eyes staring into defiant green. A corner of Ana's mind noticed Kate's mascara had run on her cheeks, ruining her flawless appearance. Kate was shifting in her seat.

"What about the rest of the family? Did dad have something to do with that as well?"

Kate shook her head: "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Kate. I always thought it was strange that nobody ever tried to get in touch. Did you or Ray have anything to do with that?"

Kate's lips started to tremble and tears once again spilled from her eyes and ran down her cheeks. "Please, Ana, it was a long time ago, what does it matter now? You have Dan and your children. You are happy, that's all that matters."

Pale, afraid to hear the answer, Ana asked softly, gently, regretfully: "What did you do, Kate?"

"Ray was going to tell Grace and Carrick about Christian. I…they would have known it came from me, everybody would have. You would have never forgiven me. And Christian: god only knows what he would have done! I could have lost Elliot." Kate looked at Ana pleadingly, her eye red rimmed, her voice strained, her tall frame now huddled in the chair on the other side of the table.

"Just tell me Kate." Ana coaxed her.

"I told Ray that they already knew. That they were OK with it. That that's why they were so happy you had married Christian: because now he could have his life style without everybody wondering why he was not dating."

Ana had no more anger in her; she was beyond stunned, beyond feeling anything. She nodded and waited.

Kate closed her eyes: "Ray said he would make sure none of them ever got close to you, that he wouldn't let them try and convince you to go back."

"So, what was he going to do, block everybody's numbers?"

Kate opened eyes full of sorrow and shook her head: "No. You could have called them instead, he…he said Christian was not the only one with connections. He talked to somebody, the next day. He never said what he had done, exactly, but he said that your phone was now safe, that my number was the only one that will be allowed through."

Ana's eyes grew wide: "'Allowed through', are you sure this were his exact words?"

"I think so", Kate frowned in concentration. "I am pretty sure. I thought it was a funny way of putting it. Does it matter?"

"Yeah, Kate, it matters." Said Ana with a sigh, one hand combing through her hair. "Dad had a friend in the FBI. If he used him to monitor my calls, they could have done pretty much anything I suppose."

Ana stood and started picking up the untouched coffee.

"Can I ask you something?" Kate said, with more than just a hint of hesitation.

Ana only bowed her head.

"When you stayed in Montesano: you were so anxious, so torn. Why didn't you go to Seattle? Why didn't you confront him?"

Her hands now shaking Ana put the kettle down on the counter. She kept her back to Kate when she answered.

"I never truly believed I would be enough for him Kate. When I saw that tape, when he didn't call then he recalled the security detail and cleared my schedule at work, told them not to expect me in, I thought that was it. I was hurt, beyond hurt, but I was not surprised. It was the silence from everybody else that truly broke me; that they could so easily write us off."

She turned around, her back against the solid surface of the counter.

"At first I thought they were afraid I'd take his money, that they kept their distance so I'd know they would fight on his side if there was a battle. But the silence continued after I sent him the divorce papers. Even after they knew I made no claim to his fortune, it was like we didn't exist, me and Eddy. When dad suggested we could change our names, move away…I could start fresh. I could be somebody else, someone who had never met Christian Grey. But that wasn't true, was it, Kate? You never said if anybody asked about me or about Eddy."

"You never asked, you only asked about Christian."

"Well I am asking now. Did they ask you about me, Kate?"

Her eyes swimming in tears and her lips trembling, Kate clenched her jaws.

"Grace?" asked Ana

Kate's only answer was to close her eyes.

"Mia?"

"Not until later, she didn't know, at first." Answered Kate, her voice trembling.

"Elliot?"

Kate was sobbing now.

"Carrick?"

"I couldn't tell you! Ray said not to tell you, he had enough trouble keeping them away from the house. He said they'd get to you, get you to go back. He had already told Christian that he knew about the tape, about the BDSM. It was too late. I was pregnant, I couldn't risk losing Elliot. He would have left me if he knew I hurt his brother, I know that."

"Dad was talking to Christian?!"

Kate nodded.

"When?"

"I don't know, a few times. He went to Seattle once or twice."

"Oh, so that's why Christian didn't ask you about me, isn't it? He didn't have to. He was talking to Ray. Is it true at least that he was back in Seattle?"

"What?" Kate asked

"When I was waiting for Christian to contact me, to explain what I saw on that tape and the woman in that room: we were sitting on the veranda. I asked you what the time difference was with Japan. You told me you had seen him in town, that he was living at Escala. You asked me if I was sure he ever went on a business trip."

Hopeful that her answer will set things straight again, Kate nodded vigorously: "Yes, I remember. You had told me he had left for a week, but I saw his SUV getting into the GEH garage only two days later."

Narrowing her eyes Ana asked: "And how do you know where he lived?"

"I tried to go and see him. I could see what his silence was doing to you. It was tearing me apart seeing you so heart broken. I wanted to ask him, for you, what had happened. Maybe tell him about Ray, how angry he was. Ray was scarring me Ana! He was keeping it together in front of you and Teddy, but with me he was so angry!"

Ana was crying by now, the tears rolling down her cheeks in a steady stream.

"Oh, daddy! Poor Ray! He was a police man Kate. Abuse cases were always hard on him, how the victims would not press charges, or if they did they would take them back, go back to the abuser, make excuses for their partner's behaviour. Then Mom's third husband hit her, put her in the hospital. Ray had this notion that he should have seen it, that he should have prevented it. He never quite got over the guilt and now you had just told him…"

"God Ana! I didn't know! About your mom, I mean."

Ana wiped her tears with her hand. "So did you talk to Christian?"

"No. I went to the house the same day, after work. He wasn't there, the house was empty. The guard said that since Christian was living at Escala, Gail and Taylor where there too. Don't you see? He was with her, must have been. At least he had the decency to not bring her to your house."

Yeah, well, there was no red room at the house, Ana thought. The truth was that Christian had needed something she could not give him. If she had had a chance to talk to him, would she have behaved any differently? Would she have stayed in Seattle and put up with seeing him with someone else? She will never know, she was not given the chance to make up her own mind. So many years later the feeling of being abandoned, discarded, shut out, that hurt as much as the thought of her husband with another woman. That part was not Christian's fault, or his family's. That was on her father, and on Kate.

The silence reigned undisturbed for several minutes. There was nothing left to say, except:

"I think you should leave."

Ana shook her head when Kate took a step towards her. She stood with her back to the kitchen counter and listened to her best friend go up the stairs then come down again. When the front door opened and closed the tears again started to fall. The gentle trickle soon turned into a flood. The sobs racking her body, she sank to the floor and gave in to the emotions crushing her.

She had thought she had been strong, at first just waiting for Christian to explain himself, then hoping she would be able to at least keep the rest of her life as it were, then fighting to build a new identity and a new life for her and her son. It had taken her eighteen years and seven months to let go, to finally cry over her lost love and her lost life and the tears were too late: Dan, Nick, and Emma would have not been in her life had it not been for those rash decisions so long ago.

This is how Emma and Dan found her when they returned. The heavy sobs had quieted down but she was still on the kitchen floor and her red eyes and tear streaked cheeks immediately told them something was seriously wrong.

"Mom, mom, what's wrong, what happened?" Emma rushed to her and knelt beside her.

Ana just embraced her and blindly caressed her head with one hand.

"Nothing, I'm just being silly. Just let me hold you."

Dan of course had a better idea of what might have upset his wife. He took the time to store the two champagne bottles safely then crouched beside his wife and daughter: "Where is Kate?"

"She left." Ana answered, her eyes closed and her hand stroking her daughter's head and back.

Emma lifted her head from Ana's shoulder: "Aunt Kate left? Did you two have a fight?"

With a small smile bellied by the sadness in her eyes Ana answered: "Something like that." She sighed. "Can you help me off the floor?"

Emma pulled away a little but it was Dan that stretched a hand out to help her stand.

"Are we still going tonight?" Emma asked

"Yes, of course. I'll just wash my face and then we can have lunch. Are you all packed?"

"Yes. Can't wait to give my present to Eddy!" Emma stood up as well. "I'd better check I have packed it!" She said giggling and started walking away, then stopped. "Oh, Mom, are you all right? I'm sorry you had a fight with your friend." she said a bit awkwardly. This was a new situation, her consoling her mom after a fight with a girlfriend.

Ana smiled a more genuine smile this time and caressed her cheek. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you. Better go check you have everything, we'll leave after lunch."

When Emma left, Ana turned towards Dan: "I'll go wash my face."

Dan leaned his head to one side: "What happened with Kate?"

Shaking her head slowly Ana told him: "Kate told Ray a lie, then was afraid I was going to find out so she lied a little more. Ray decided to cut off all ties with the Grey's." She frowned: "Can the FBI block calls to your phone or block you from making calls?"

Dan frowned: "I don't think so. Why?"

"Kate said dad did something to my phone to only have her number 'allowed through'."

"Well, if Ray has used his FBI pal, he might have set it up directly with the phone company."

Ana nodded once, then turned and walked to their bedroom. When she got out of the bathroom Dan was sat on the bed. She sat next to him.

"I'm sorry you have been drawn into all of this."

"It's not your fault, Belle, it's just that I don't know if I should be angry at Kate and Ray for manipulating you, and me, to some extent, or grateful. I am a bit of both I think."

Ana nodded her understanding: "I have lived all these years believing something that in a way had hurt more than Christian's affair. To find out now that it wasn't true, that all those people not only didn't abandon us but thought I have abandoned them… I didn't just take Eddy away from Christian; I took him from his whole family. I am grateful for having you and our children in my life Dan, I just don't know what to do with all these feelings of guilt towards all the others."

Dan took her hands in his: "You didn't know, Belle. Are you still willing to let Eddy decide what he wants to do?"

"Yes. I know you are right and…I can't be sure I wouldn't have left Seattle anyway. Maybe not like I did but, to have stayed there would have been difficult."

She stopped and took a deep breath. She needed to pull herself together. This was her family now, her life. "Let's eat, then we can go celebrate Eddy's birthday."

They left Rock Hill in the early afternoon. Ana, Dan and Emma were going to share a hotel room, while Nick was staying with Eddy and Tom, Eddy's roommate. Ana's mood had lifted considerably during the familiar two hour drive to Columbia. She was looking forward to a chance to meet the girl who had finally snapped Nick out of his apparent reluctance to interact with the fairer sex. Eddy's present from her and Dan was a designer suit and a pair of leather shoes to complete his look as a future lawyer and she was a little anxious about how well it would fit him. Emma refused to even hint to what she was giving Eddy, but Ana knew her daughter had spent hours on a 'secret project' in the past few months.

By the time they arrived at the hotel Emma was bouncing with impatience and Ana was looking forward to an evening of bowling and pizza with her family.

**AN: Teddy's birthday coming next, probably mid week**


	10. Summer Storm Ch10 Forever More

**AN: Here we go, the Parsons celebrating Eddy's 21st birthday. There has been some wild speculation in PMs about what is going to happen and I love your imagination and how involved some of you are in this story. The most frequent question has been about CG making an appearance and to that I could only answer "sort of". Hope you will understand now why I could not explain without ruining the surprise. **

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Dan split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch10 Forever More

On Sunday morning a series of grunts and moans were the only reply Nick got to the knock on his brother's door. After bowling and pizza with the parents he had taken it upon himself to introduce his kid brother to adulthood, as he had put it, and it had only taken a few shots in a crowded student bar to get Eddy drunk for the first time in his life.

Laughing out loud he opened the door: "Rise and shine birthday boy, mom made me promise to get you your breakfast in bed."

With that he brought forward the tray with fried bacon and eggs and waved it in front of him. With an even loader groan, Eddy opened his eyes and then threw the covers off him and darted past Nick straight to the bathroom.

Not particularly inclined to listen to his brother spill the contents of his stomach, Nick opened the windows to the small bedroom before returning to the combined living room and kitchen: no point in letting the parents catch smell of tequila that had been oozing off Eddy's breath all night.

A slightly unsteady Eddy finally emerged from the bathroom and leaned on the wall for support, then allowed himself to slide down to the floor.

Nick poured a glass of Gatorade and took it and two aspirins to his brother: "Here, drink this. You might want to take a shower before mom and dad get here."

Weary of touching anything that might upset his stomach again Eddy ignored the offered remedies: "How come you are so fresh and what was that awful smell?"

"Last night was for you bro, I barely touched anything." said Nick. "C'mon, drink this. It'll make you feel better."

"That's what you said last night."

"Yeah, well, you did feel better for a while. C'mon, or mom will kill us both if she finds you like this."

"Might be doing me a service." Said Eddy, but this time took the glass and the pills.

"Slowly, drink slowly, not all at once." Nick imparted some of his experience.

When the glass was empty he helped Eddy off the floor and stirred him back into the bathroom: "Shower and urgh, maybe open a window, smells like something has died in here."

Nick returned to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee and threw a couple of slices of bread in the toaster. Eddy's roommate was spending the weekend with his girlfriend so they had the apartment to themselves. He plopped down in the sofa and switched on the TV. Behind him he heard Eddy shuffle back to his room.

A knock to the door announced that the day's festivities were about to commence. Praying that Eddy was actually getting dressed and had not collapsed back on the bed he went to open the door.

"Nick, hi! It's not too early is it? I just wanted to drop a card for Eddy but thank you so much for your help yesterday!"

"Carol-Ann, hi! Do you want to come in?"

Nick was smiling at the young woman and her returning smile got his heart beating faster. He had thought about her since first meeting her in Rock Hill, so when he arrived in Columbia Saturday morning and she was complaining that she had been unable to find any useful information about their commencement speaker he had jumped on the occasion to help her.

This Grey person had only permitted a standard press release and had declined an interview for the Commencement announcement. They had spent almost three hours searching the internet for some bit of trivia, despite Eddy's warning that they were going to get into trouble. Finally a small notice in a Seattle newspaper had mentioned that Grey had withdrawn funding for the Rose Award from the Washington State University. By the time Nick had to leave to join his parents and Emma, he had only managed to use his IT skills to hack into the WSU network and he and Eddy had left it to Carol-Ann to dig for more information.

As she passed him in the doorway he had to clench his fists to refrain from reaching out and caressing her arm, or her back or…He stopped when he caught himself starring at her behind: too soon. He closed the door and followed her inside.

"Is Eddy up yet?"

"Yeah, he'll be out in a moment. So how did your research yesterday go?"

"Well, for somebody that important, there is surprisingly little information out there. I did find out why he withdrew the Rose Award from WSU though."

She was interrupted by Eddy coming out of his bedroom. He was now dressed in jeans and a tee shirt, with bare feet and tousled hair, still looking a bit worse for wear.

"Eddy, happy birthday!" She said and placed a kiss on his cheek, then proceeded to rummage through her large shoulder bag: "This is for you, hope you like it" She produced a small packet and handed it to Eddy.

"Thanks, Carol-Ann, you really shouldn't have." Said Eddy

"Of course I had to, you are my friend! Will you open it? I'm dying to see it on you!"

The packet revealed a Polo sweatshirt in a dark grey colour. A few moments later they were all three were seated on the couch with a cup of coffee and two not too burnt pieces of toast for Eddy, who was now wearing his new sweatshirt. Nick tried to bring the conversation back to a subject that also involved him.

"Did you say you found out why Grey withdrew the Award from WSU?"

"Yeah, I did." said Carol-Ann, her eyes darting from one brother to the other. "But it doesn't make much sense: the award has a logo, with a tie and a rose on top of it. The logo is supposed to be embossed on the award paper, but WSU printed the certificates on just plain paper. Apparently this was in breach of the terms."

She rolled her eyes. "Can you believe it?"

Her eyes had once again settled on Eddy and she was obviously studying him.

Uncomfortable under her stare, Eddy asked: "Something on my face?"

Realizing she had been staring, Carol-Ann shook her head: "No, sorry, it's just that I also found a picture. Grey was 28 at the time, had just made his first billion. His eyes are lighter than yours, so pale they look grey, and his hair is more copper than brown but, it's uncanny how much you look like him. If I didn't know your family was from Rock Hill…"She stopped talking when she noticed both brothers tensing: "Did I say something wrong?"

The brothers exchanged a look, and then Nick explained: "We are not blood related. My mother died when I was a kid and mom, Belle, already had Eddy when she and dad got married."

"Oh, God, I'm sorry, I didn't know. Me and my big mouth!" Carol-Ann stopped talking.

"Uh, it's alright." Eddy said trying to shake off the awkward feeling. He knew his biological father had left him and his mother to start another family and had never wanted any more details. As far as he was concerned it was the other guy's loss. Dan was his dad, and that was it for him. "But seriously, stop digging around. If Grey has withdrawn the Award for something as little as the wrong paper, can you imagine what he'd do if you guys put in the article something he doesn't want you to?"

"It's not like it was private information. The picture was from a graduation ceremony, years ago. It was in the local newspaper 'Christian Grey and friend'."

Eddy shook his head but anything he might have said was interrupted by the sound of a determined knock on the door.

"I'll get it" he said.

The relative quiet in the living room came to an end when Dan, Ana and Emma all at once shouted "Happy Birthday!" as soon as the door opened.

With a "Do you want to see your presents?" from Emma, "Where is Nick?" from Dan and "Let me put these in the fridge" from Ana, the family stepped into the small apartment.

Eddy went with his mother to help her with the groceries while Nick introduced Carol-Ann to his father. They had just sat down again when Ana returned from the kitchen. Dan was flipping through the TV channels while Emma was bent down untying her sneakers, so it was only Nick that noticed Carol-Ann's eyes growing wide when his mother entered the living room. It only lasted for a second, and the young woman covered her reaction with a cough and stood up.

"Mom this is Carol-Ann, Eddy's friend." With a small frown he turned to Carol-Ann: "Anabelle Parson, my mother."

A slight blush warming her cheeks Carol-Ann shook Ana's hand: "How do you do, Mrs Parson"

"Oh, no need to be formal! Hi Carol-Ann, please call me Belle. Eddy said you might be joining us for lunch?"

"I don't want to impose, really. I just came by to say Happy Birthday. I should probably be going."

"Oh, no you don't" said Eddy as he re-joined the rest. "You are not imposing at all. Is she mom? Besides you promised."

The blush on Carol-Ann's cheeks grew darker: "Eddy, really, this is a family thing…"

Eddy started laughing. "Mom won't mind. I told you, I think she would actually welcome a bit of competition."

"Competition?" Ana asked, her eyes darting from the blushing young woman, to Nick who looked tense and back to Eddy who had a wide grin on his face.

"Well, if we are going to play scrabble tonight, you should be warned that Carol-Ann has won a couple of tournaments."

"I see," Ana said laughing, "then by all means, please join us. Eddy is right, it gets a little lonely winning every single game" she finished with a wink.

"Yes, please stay," Emma piped, "especially if you can tango."

A groan from the three males only increased Carol-Ann's confusion.

"Emma is a very keen dancer and every year gets us to learn a new dance. This year its tango, but we have had several months to prepare." Ana explained

"Oh, yes, she can tango" Eddy interfered with a smug look on his face.

"Is that why you put me through that?" Carol-Ann asked

"You don't know Emma. She won't get off our backs until we get the dance just right." Eddy countered, the pained expression on his face bellied by the twinkle in his eyes.

"Ok, ok" Carol-Ann gave in. "But I really need to go home first. I won't be long; I just need to email some research material to my colleagues."

The family tradition was to open the presents before lunch and then the whole family would enjoy a meal cooked by Ana. After cake and blowing candles they spent the evening playing games.

Every year Ana beat everybody hand down at Scrabble.

Once she had recovered from the car accident when she was eleven, Emma had started dancing to help with the strength in her leg and since then she insisted everybody should learn a new dance for her birthday. So far they had gone through waltz, salsa, meringue, and twist, and the dancing sessions had become as much a part of their birthdays celebrations as was the scrabble.

The men got to choose activities as well and over the years they had played twister ('Not fair on short people', Ana and Emma usually protested. 'Oh yeah, because playing Scrabble with a librarian is', countered the boys), various quiz games, monopoly, table hockey, balloon basketball…

While Carol-Ann was gone Eddy had tried his new suit and shoes on and to Ana's relief they were a perfect fit. It was quickly agreed that he would wear the charcoal grey suit to his graduation.

"With a light blue shirt and a faded red tie, maybe with a dark grey pattern… it would look elegant without being too boring" Ana's mumbled words and random patting and tugging of the fabric a poor disguise for her emotion while she was studying the tall frame of her son, towering head and shoulders above her.

Emma had put together an album of pictures: 'A lawyer in the making - and the important people in his life'. For each year in Eddy's life since he started school she had chosen one picture of him, but then she had added herself in one way or another to each one of his pictures. On a few of them it was just her head poking in a corner, in other pictures she had covered somebody else's face with her own, on a couple of occasions she had inserted a full picture of herself into the original. The result was playful and sometimes hilarious and Eddy rewarded her with a kiss on top of her head and a 'good one squirt' delivered with a tender look in his eyes, a smile on his lips and a brotherly embrace.

Then three pairs of eyes turned to Nick.

"What?" Nick said, feigning innocence

"Your present." Emma nudged him

"Oh, that. I…err, gave him my present last night, didn't I Bro?"

"Really?" she said, "What did he get you?"

They all look expectantly at Eddy: "Uh, yeah, he did. Erm, it was more of a…brotherly advice, really."

Catching on Dan smirked but Ana was still in the dark: "Advice?" She squinted and looked at each of their guilty faces in turn: "What advice?"

Now laughing Dan put a hand on her arm: "I think you'd better leave that one alone sweetheart."

"What? Why?" He got the squinting stare as well: "Do you know what they are talking about?"

"I think I do." Dan nodded his head.

"Mom, I think dad's right, perhaps this should stay between me and Nick."

"Oh really?! Nick what did you do?"

"Nothing mom!"

Emma and Eddy both started laughing at Nick's automatic reply. With a 'later for you' stare at them both he said: "Nothing bad, well not too bad, just, you know, guy stuff." He squirmed under his mother stare.

"Nicholas Parson what did you do?"

"Sweetheart…"Dan started but withered under his wife's stare.

"He took me to a bar. We had a few drinks after midnight, that's all." Eddy finally took pity on his brother.

"Oh God! Nick, did you get your brother drunk?"

The return of his nickname signalling that the worst of the danger was past, Nick dared a sheepish look towards his mother: "I thought that as an older brother it was my duty to, err be there for him, you know, for his first time."

At the look of horror on Ana's face he quickly amended: "Drinking. His first time drinking."

"C'mon, Belle, let's get some of the food out. Something greasy, right Eddy?" He said with a wink to his youngest son.

Ana knew when she was defeated. She shook her head and looked at Eddy: "Are you alright, do you feel alright? Do you need anything?"

"No, mom, I'm fine, really. But I am kind of hungry" he added noticing the intense look his dad gave him.

Huffing Ana stood: "Ok, but you all get to help. It's the five of us and Carol-Ann then?"

Eddy nodded.

"Well, it's your apartment so see if you can set a table for six somehow. Nick, can help you. Emma can you lend me a hand?"

She had prepared most of the food before leaving Rock Hill so the warm pates only needed to be placed in the oven and then the lasagne could heat up while they were eating the entrées.

The enticing food smells had started to fill the apartment when Carol-Ann returned. She had changed in a more form fitting dress and was now wearing heels and a little make-up, Ana noticed. Eddy and Nick had set the table Japanese style with all the dishes on the low table in the living room and cushions on the floor. Dan and the boys were already seated, Dan and Nick with beers and Eddy with a glass of Gatorade.

"Nick, scoot" said Emma wedging herself between her brothers. That was her customary seat, with their parents sitting across from them. This time she seemed to have other plans as she then took a step back and directed Carol-Ann to the recently emptied cushion, with a smirk on her face.

Carol-Ann seemed distracted as she sat down with a tiny smile and started fiddling with the empty glass in front of her.

"Emma, as you are still standing, would you help me bring the food, please?" said Ana.

They returned each carrying a plate of steaming entrees to find Nick with a frown on his face discussing sports with his father while Carol-Ann and Eddy were engrossed in a whispered conversation, both looking serious.

The food on the table got everybody's attention and the conversation started flowing more easily, jumping from Ana's secret ingredient in the baked pates to the recent defeat suffered by the university football team, the pressure of the upcoming finals and the antics of some of Eddy's and Carol-Ann's classmates.

Nick and Eddy engaged in their usual banter of jujitsu versus taekwondo, their respective chosen martial arts. While Ana and Dan congratulated Eddy on his third dan, Nick chimed:

"Too bad for all that effort bro, all I need to do is sit on you and you're done."

"If you can catch me, that is. There's always going to be a guy that's bigger than you, Nick."

"Oh, and there's no chance of one being faster than you I suppose?"

"Well, yeah, maybe, but there's no chance that'll be you." Eddy smirked

"Seriously bro, you should look into some self-defence next year. All that aerial ballet won't do you much good in a proper fight."

Uncomfortable with the idea of any of her son's in a brawl, Ana interfered: "I hope none of you will get into any fights."

The three men mhmmed and shared a look between them.

"Really, I mean that. There are better ways to solve a problem."

"Yes, mom," both boys answered keeping as straight a face as they could.

Ana shook her head and narrowed her eyes at them. Drinking, fighting…she was going to have to have a word with her sons.

They had started on the lasagne when the subject of funding for college and post graduate studies came up and what a jungle it was to navigate. Carol-Ann looked positively crestfallen at that.

"C'mon Carol-Ann, you don't know that you haven't got it" said Eddy. "It was a really good piece you wrote; I'm not just saying it."

"Eddy, I badgered the man for the whole school year. He pulled the funding from a whole university just for a silly printing change; do you really think he'll overlook me criticising the whole concept?"

"If I remember correctly he doesn't judge the entries himself, does he?"

"No, it's the editors of the publishing house that do that but he pays for the whole thing so that probably gives him some kind of veto right."

"What are the two of you talking about?" asked Ana

Eddy sighed and explained: "Christian Grey, our commencement speaker, funds an award for creative writing for students of selected universities. The winner of the Rose award for each university is announced on the 9th of May and the prize is $10,000 dollars. Carol-Ann has submitted an entry and her paper is very good but she has spent the last few months sending letter after letter arguing that it wasn't fair that other students should be competing with literature students when awarding the prize. Then yesterday she found out that two years ago Grey declined to award any prize to students of his home town university because the logo on the award paper was printed instead of embossed. So now she is worried that she won't get the award because of her letters."

"Here, I can show you" Carol-Ann said and produced a tablet out of her handbag. She fiddled with it for a moment and then placed it on the table showing them the picture of the logo.

"The logo for the Rose Award is very clever: a tie and a red rose to symbolise both male and female participants. The loop of the tie forms a heart shape for the love of literature and the motto, 'In Aeternum Magis' , suggests there is always more to read or to learn. This is what WSU printed" Carol-Ann said.

All eyes were on the tablet while she swiped to the next picture. Ana however didn't need the picture to know what was missing: one of her hands had instinctively grabbed her other wrist and was massaging it.

"I can't see any difference." complained Nick.

"Exactly" Carol-Ann said. "There is some model on the tie that doesn't even show in the picture but makes it much more costly to produce the letter head as you can't just make copies."

"What do the words mean?" Asked Emma

It was more than Ana could bear.

"Excuse me" she said and left the table while a surprised Carol-Ann translated "Ever more, it's Latin."

Dan stood and went after his wife leaving the youngsters in an uncomfortable silence. He found her by the sounds of her sobs in the bathroom.

"Belle, can I come in?"

After a few second he heard the click of the lock and the door opened to a dishevelled Ana, her red rimmed eyes wide and wild with an intense stare he couldn't quite place. She stepped aside to let him in and then closed the door and leaned her back against it.

"What happened?" he asked.

She closed her eyes briefly and when she opened them tears were running down her face. She didn't bother to wipe them.

"The award: it's for me, about me, about us. My middle name is Rose. 9th of May is the day we met. The tie is not just a tie, it's a specific tie, his." She stopped short of telling him how Christian used to bind her hands with that tie. "The motto: forever more. He…we wanted different things, when we met. I wanted more than he was willing to give and left him. He promised me more to get me back: hearts and flowers."

She closed her eyes again and a shudder went through her body, shaking her from head to toe. She locked her knees so her legs won't give way.

Dan stood silent, unsure of what to do with all of that. He was a barely middleclass, small town and small business employee. He had demons of his own. He looked at his wife. He wasn't a fool, women liked that: the attention, the grand gestures. He had bought her flowers and chocolates and the occasional pair of shoes, a small necklace once, a pair of ear rings. But an award? There was no way he could compete with that.

"Are you going to forgive him?"

The question snapped Ana from wherever her mind had been. Suddenly she was hyperaware of her surroundings: the bathroom door behind her back, Dan standing in front of her, their children in the next room. She shook her head: "No."

**AN: next chapter Ana and Dan start dealing with CG's letter.**


	11. Summer Storm Ch11 A quiet evening

**AN: Here we go, mid-week surprise. It is very likely that between now and Christmas the chapters will be posted early in the week rather than the weekend as the weekends seem to disappear in a flurry of shopping/cooking/cleaning/visiting and so on. **

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Dan split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 11 A quiet evening at home

Ana emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later and went straight to the kitchen to get her son's birthday cake, brushing the concerned questions away with 'I just have a headache, it will go away'.

After chocolate cake and champagne they set up the scrabble board. Emma usually played with Ana, but this time Dan and Nick begged to be left out to watch the NFL drafts, leaving Eddy to battle it with the three ladies. The chatting and occasional chuckles around the scrabble board were mostly drowned out by the NFL commentator and Dan and Nick's groans and yelps.

Eddy played with the dedication he brought to everything he did, but blatantly allowed his sister a few opportunities. Carol-Ann ultimately won the game by two points. She proved herself to be smart, witty and funny. Ana had learned that the young woman had secured an internship in Human Relations in Greensboro and was going to study for a Masters in Public Administration at SPIA in Raleigh.

While they were moving furniture around to make enough space for the tango demonstrations, Carol-Ann and Nick slipped away for a few moments and by the time they returned Nick's brooding mood seemed to have vanished, while the Carol-Ann had a small smile on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes that had not been there before.

Partnering for the dance proved easy: Dan asked for Emma as his partner as he 'needed all the help he could get' and Ana took the chance to claim the birthday boy as her partner. This of course left Nick and Carol-Ann to dance together.

Dan did his best, but the few steps Ana had showed him were clearly not enough to satisfy his daughter and their dance was more a lesson than a polished routine. Emma did however acknowledge his effort with a kiss on his cheek and a 'Thank you dad'. Ana and Eddy were next and their twists and twirls were met with a little more praise but they were still put on notice that they needed to practice until Emma's birthday the following month.

Finally Nick and Carol-Ann stood and took their place in the middle of the small living room. Their first steps were hesitant, the young woman suddenly shy and Nick a little unsure, whispering to her his intended next step. By the end of the four minute song their little demonstration had turned into a hot, passionate number. Emma had to pronounce her judgment with her cheeks slightly flushed: "Yeah, I don't think you two need more practice."

Ana was beaming with happiness for her son and Dan was smirking when Nick placed a kiss on Carol-Ann's cheek then grasped her hand and sat her next to him on the couch.

They were still holding hands two hours later when, regretfully, Ana, Dan and Emma had to leave for Rock Hill.

Ana was hoping for a quiet week to allow her to get back to her routine, to slip back into the life of Annabelle Parson. Too many memories and too many emotions had been stirred in the past few days. Whenever the thought of Eddy's graduation crossed her mind she was torn between anger, regret and some other unnamed emotion that invariably made her heart beat faster. She wished she could just let the time slip by, survive graduation day and the talk with Eddy and once again distance herself from her past. Her mind was firmly set on hoping that Eddy would remain unwilling to ask for more information.

Monday went all according to plan: routine tasks at work and a quiet evening at home, Emma in her room, Dan watching sports and she curled up in her well-worn armchair in the corner of the living room reading a book on the history of American literature.

Tuesday, Dan was unusually quiet during dinner. Afterwards he went to the garage and started tinkering with the car. After about an hour, done with her chores around the house, Ana grabbed a beer for him and a cup of tea for her and went to see what was on her husband's mind. She found him with half a dozen pieces of darkened metal spread out on the workbench, pouring some strong smelling chemical in what looked like a Tupperware container.

"Dan? I thought you might be getting thirsty." She said and handed him the cold beer.

"Oh, thanks, good thinking." He replied with a smile then started soaking the metal pieces.

Ana leaned against the wall: "Something on your mind?"

He looked up: "Yeah, kind of."

He didn't say anything more so she prompted: "Is there anything I can do?"

Dan sighed: "There's something I need to talk to you about, but not here. Let's go in the back yard for a moment, these need some time to loosen up anyway."

They went around the house and sat on the benches by the wooden table, across from each other.

"Belle, I'm not sure how to say this and not sound like a greedy insensitive bastard, but all that money your ex has sent…What you said to Luke Sawyer, that we have not decided: that's a lot of money to walk away from."

Ana was looking down into her cup of tea, not saying anything.

He continued: "You said it yourself: it's not just you and me. For the children that money would make a hell of a difference. Emma's doctor appointment is in a few days. We got lucky that time with Dr Shepard and his research. Two years before that we had to apply for a charity to help with the house after the storm. Even the hospital bills from when you gave birth to Emma were partly covered by a charity fund. I…"

Ana looked up, surprised. This was news to her: "What hospital bills? I mean, I know we had bills but not that we couldn't afford them?"

"We never told you, we didn't want you to worry, but the insurance only covered standard care. All those extra appointments, the surgery, the private room…Ray had some money left from his house and I was looking into getting some more money on the mortgage. But it all worked out: the hospital said there was a fund just for complicated pregnancies and helped me apply. They covered half the cost."

"'We' as in you and dad?" Ana said, suspicious, wondering if there was anything at all in her life that was as she thought.

"Don't hold it against us, Belle. You had enough on your mind. The money, it didn't matter. I would have gotten it somehow. It's just what I am getting at here: I don't care about that any more than you do. But if my children, our children, have a chance at a better life, one where they won't need to fear for their health or their house…Nick was talking about going to do a masters, but he is not as good as Eddy and this Carol-Ann girl. He doesn't think he'll be able to get enough financial support to not drown in debt for years to come. And Emma: those schools she is looking into in New York, those are all private and very expensive."

Ana was silent, collecting her thoughts, getting her emotions under control so her voice wouldn't tremble when she spoke. She had vowed to not cry anymore.

"I know, Dan. But where the money is coming from…I'm not sure I can deal with that."

For a fleeting moment she had that lost look in her eyes Dan had seen so often in the past week. He felt like a voyeur spying on her very soul, and the depth of feeling he saw there gripped his heart and twisted it painfully. The woman in front of him was torn, and he was clawing at her scars.

"Maybe we could do something about it. Perhaps there is a way to not use it for us, for you, just for the children. Like a trust fund."

The next day Ana contacted the lawyer in Charlotte, the one with the clear background check, and agreed to meet with him Thursday afternoon.

In the evening while Emma was still at her dance class, Ana had just picked up her book and Dan had turned on the TV in time for the evening news and sports results. They were going to have a nice, quiet, boring evening. She folded her legs underneath her and leaned back in the oversized, comfortable armchair.

"Belle, I just realized: do you have any way to prove who you were, before?"

"I don't think so" she started and then with a sigh: "dad took care of all that."

She put her book down. This was not her. Usually it was the other way around: she was the one everybody else counted on. Dan was supportive, but generally content to follow where she was taking them. For just a split second a deep longing filled her, the meaning of it so scary it galvanized her into action. "The box! Dad had a box with my name on it."

"It's on the top shelf in the wardrobe, I'll get it."

"No" said Ana, unsettled and afraid, choosing fight instead of flight. "I'll get it."

Dan's puzzled look made her realize she had been more forceful than she had intended. "The news are on, I'll bring it here."

Dan turned back towards the TV and was soon lost in reports about a murder case in Charleston, regional news, the weather. Belle had still not returned and he really hated being interrupted during the sports news. He put the TV on pause and went to the bedroom to see what was taking her so long.

Ana was sitting on the bed with a binder in her lap, leafing through the pages, an open cardboard box besides her. She didn't seem to notice him so he came closer. He got a glimpse of what looked like an old style computer drive on top of a book.

"I did this." She said and raised her head to look at him.

Her eyes were clear so she had not been crying and she did not look confused.

"What did you do?"

"Kate asked me why I didn't go back to Seattle, why I didn't confront him."

"Sweetheart", Dan said, "don't do this to yourself."

"No, Dan. She was right. At first I was angry, then hurt, then confused by the silence, but then I gave up, I let Ray take over."

Dan sat beside her: "He was your dad. He did some crazy things but he was trying to protect you. Ray loved you, Belle."

"I know. I know he did. But this is exactly it: Ray fought to protect me. I should have fought for Eddy. I should have fought to keep his father in his life, his grandparents, his aunt and uncle. You were right, I never thought about this."

"You thought they had abandoned you, remember? You didn't know he wrote to you, you still don't know what was in those letters."

"At least he tried to contact me. The only thing Christian ever got from me was the petition for the divorce. I don't even know what some of these papers are!"

"May I?" Dan said with a look towards the binder.

Ana handed him the folder and he opened it at the first page: birth certificate Anastasia Rose Steele, father Raymond Steele, mother Carla Steele.

The next paper was Carla and Ray's marriage license followed by an adoption decree.

"You are adopted?!"

"Mom was married before she met Ray. My biological father died the day after I was born. Training accident, he was in the military."

Dan starred at the paper: "If I would have had to guess I would have thought Carla was the adoptive parent. Ray was so protective of you!" He raised his head to look at her: "You know I feel the same about Eddy, don't you?"

"Yes, Dan. And Nick is my son just as Eddy and Emma are my children."

As it had happened several times in the last few days, Ana got a new insight into their situation. She held her breath: protecting Christian's privacy had been built into their relationship right from the start, but this was common knowledge. She released her breath: "He knows. Christian knows. He is adopted as well."

"Really?!"

"Yes. You said there was a biography, was this not in it?"

"I don't know, I was mostly looking for information about you and Eddy." Dan confessed

She hesitated, once again debating how much she could reveal. "He worships his mother and loves his brother and sister dearly."

"And his father?" Dan asked with a slight undercurrent of anxiety in his tone.

"Their relationship was a little more strained. Christian doesn't deal very well with anybody exerting their authority over him. But I think he loves him too and not just out of gratefulness that he has provided him with a home."

Storing this new piece of information with the rest, Dan returned his attention to the folder in his lap. Belle's high school diploma was next.

"You said you interviewed him for the student newspaper. You were only eighteen when you met?"

"Twenty-one. I, umm… studied Literature at WSU." Ana admitted, the hint of a blush colouring her cheeks.

"You have a degree?!"

"Mhmm."

"But you have worked as an assistant! It has taken you years to get to where you are now!"

Ana shrugged: "Different name."

Dan was left wondering just how much of her true self she had left behind when she ran from her previous life. The image of a young college graduate turned billionaire wife, owning a publishing house, surrounded by family and friends seemed light years apart from the familiar one of a single mother struggling along as a library assistant with her father as her only companion and support. Then he remembered her strength through the difficult times, her quiet determination to see things through, how she had started and driven countless projects for the library to help spread her love of books, her kindness and gentleness. Not for the first time he felt a pang of guilt that he could not wholly give his heart to the wonderful woman who sat beside him.

The sadness showed in his face and Ana covered one of his hands with hers: "It's alright Dan. I have used the knowledge and I still get to work with books. I have the chance to help others discover them, perhaps even love them like I do. I really don't mind that nobody knows that I have a degree."

Dan turned to the next page thinking he would find her college diploma, but was instead confronted by her old driving license. He stared for a moment at the name 'Anastasia Grey'. He chose to ignore the irrational jealousy stirring inside him and instead focused on the smiling face of a younger version of his wife: "You look nice with long hair. But I don't think we can use this, it's too old."

The last sleeve contained several papers, the topmost reading "Final decree of divorce" in bold, capitalized and underlined letters. He looked at her, again asking for permission.

She nodded so he extracted the heap of papers and scanned over the text of the first two pages then stiffened when he reached the third. He took his time to re-read the text.

"Belle, is this your signature?"

He showed her the bottom of the page with both hers and Christian's signatures.

"Yes." She said, then frowned: "I didn't know Christian saw this."

"You said you never discussed custody."

"We haven't. We, Ray and I, and the lawyer, only drew up a temporary plan. They told me it had to be filled with the petition. I asked for Eddy to stay with me but I didn't ask for legal custody or anything like that."

"This parenting plan?" Dan wanted to be sure.

"I didn't know he signed these, I thought he only signed the petition. Dad said he never asked about Eddy."

His shoulders slumping Dan patiently explained: "He never asked, because he agreed with the plan: shared custody, Eddy living with you and for him to have unrestricted visitation rights."

"He agreed? But dad said…"

She took the papers from him and looked over the page, looked at the familiar signature at the bottom. "Christian thought this was part of the divorce agreement?"

The flowing letters of Christian's signature felt like a slap over her face, a screamed accusation: 'Liar!'

"Perhaps we could take this with us tomorrow and ask the lawyer, but I am pretty sure that this _is_ part of the divorce agreement."

Ana dropped the paper and shoved it off her lap in a futile attempt to keep her involvement with it away from her. This was such an enormous betrayal, a bold faced lie. She needed to be sure.

By the time she snapped out of her thoughts, Dan had picked it up and placed it in the sleeve with the rest of the papers.

"Don't put it back. You are right; we'll take it with us tomorrow."

The sound of car doors closing was quickly followed by the thud of the front door.

"Anybody home?" Emma's voice echoed through the house.

By unspoken agreement, Dan closed the box and placed it back in the wardrobe while Ana placed the plastic sleeve in her handbag. They returned to the family room together and almost collided with Emma who was on her way to the kitchen.

"Hi, sweetie, how was dance class?"

"Oh great, we changed a whole minute of the routine but I think it's better this way. Mandy is going to be so sorry she missed it. God I'm starving! Is there any food left?"

Smiling at the tirade, Ana rolled her eyes: "Of course there's food left. There's a plate out for you. I'll keep you company."

The two went to the kitchen while Dan returned to the living room, although the sports news were not really at the forefront of his mind anymore.

Emma's phone chimed and she immediately started texting furiously so Ana put her plate in the oven and set the timer.

"Is everything ok?"

Emma sighed: "Mandy was out with Jake. Apparently her mom is now ok with it. They went for a drive. I can't believe she let us down for a date! I was actually worried about her. Oh and Linda asks if you want to meet up this week end. But you said I'll get to drive and I didn't yet so can we do that?"

With a pang of guilt Ana took the plate out of the microwave: "Sorry, Emma, I forgot. Let me talk to Linda. I'll see when she is free and then we can agree on a time together. Do you have plans for this weekend?"

"Well, I was going to go to town with Mandy but that might not happen now. I'll see if Jenny wants to do something. By the way can I have some money for Friday? There's this shirt I saw last week, it's really nice, I thought I'd get it after guitar."

"And how much would that nice shirt be?"

"tmdfllrs"

"Sorry, I didn't get that."

"Twenty-five dollars." Emma said with a sigh.

Ana was going to comment that it was a bit too much for an everyday shirt. They were not poor or needy, but they did need to mind their budget, prioritize expenses. Then the image of the cheque in the manila folder floated into her mind. The feel of silk on her skin and of leather around her feet also made an unbidden appearance. She didn't need those but was it fair to keep them from her daughter, if she could afford it?

"I could wear it at Eddy's graduation." Emma was saying.

Ana sighed: "Why don't you come and pick me up after your lesson? We could go together to see about this shirt."

Mrs Dawson's small music school, across the street from the library, crossed her mind. That's where Eddy had learned to play the piano and Emma and Nick the guitar. All three children had outgrown the abilities of their amateur tutor years ago, but it was largely due to her and her husband's kindness and patience that any of them learned to play an instrument and more importantly learned to love music, an area in which both Ana and Dan were severely lacking.

She made a mental note to stop by and say hello.

**AN: next chapter will be the meeting with the lawyer**


	12. Summer Storm Ch12 Legal Advice

**AN: I love your imagination and how involved some of you are in the story! So following popular demand, a few "threats" and a couple of great suggestions I am currently working on one more CG POV chapter before graduation. For now I hope you'll enjoy this one.**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Dan split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 12 Legal advice

The meeting with the lawyer started well: Adam Barns, Esq, a tall blond man in his forties, came to greet them in the reception area of the building housing his firm. During the short elevator ride to the third floor he made casual small talk asking about their journey and commenting on the annoyances of early afternoon traffic in Charlotte. By the time they were shown in the elegant office Ana and Dan felt more at ease in the unfamiliar surroundings.

Their intention had been to gain some general information about setting up a trust fund for their children, but, the lawyer quickly informed them that: "Which options are available to you depend in a certain measure on the value of the assets placed in the fund."

Ana's vague 'a few million' immediately piqued his interest. Sitting up a little straighter in his chair he competently described several options and then handed them some written explanations to take home for further reading before making a decision.

The next point was dealing with the property Ana owned in her previous name. She had meant to keep her former identity out of the discussion and taken the time to make copies of all the documents with the names blanked out, but Adam Barnes became suspicious of her change of identity and her vague reassurances that she had 'not done anything illegal, well I have, I think, but I don't think it matters' only deepened the crease between his eyes.

"Mr and Mrs Parson, your visit today is of course covered by the attorney-client privilege and therefore confidential, but I don't think I will be able to assist you." He said, rising from his chair.

"No, please, wait." Ana told him and produced two sheets of paper and handed them over.

With that something shifted in her attitude. Instead of sitting back in the chair, her shoulders rounded and her hands folded in her lap, looking a little overwhelmed and preoccupied, she straightened up and moved forward to the edge of the seat, her hands now lightly placed on the table in front of her.

Adam Barnes finished looking over the papers and addressed her with one eyebrow raised: "You want me to sign an NDA? As I said, our conversation is covered by the attorney-client privilege. An NDA is not necessary."

In a calm, confident voice, she told him: "We are not criminals or trying to do anything illegal. But in order to explain I will have to involve other people. The NDA is for areas not covered by the privilege, like our names on your client list. And there might be an issue with who it is that is your client, so this would cover any of our interactions, whether for legal advice or not."

When she finished speaking she simply waited, no trace of tension or anxiety in her body language or on her face. Mr Barnes sat back down, carefully reading the paper in his hand, not even bothering to hide his surprise at this new information. When he raised his eyes, before he could say or ask anything, she continued:

"When we booked this meeting we were informed that you charge a percentage on transactions involving real estate and other assets."

"That is correct. I charge a flat fee for the advice and preparatory work and a 1% fee if the transaction is successful."

She nodded towards the NDA now resting on the table between them: "The properties I own should be worth 40-50 million. Those will be in addition to the twenty two million already intended for the trust fund."

She paused again, allowing Barnes time to process the information. This is when Dan realised that the power, the control of the meeting, had somehow shifted from the lawyer to his usually quiet and unassuming wife. She was no longer asking for help, she was negotiating and by the looks of it getting what she wanted: the lawyer bowed his head and signed both papers then returned one to her.

With the signed paper folded and safe in her purse, Ana told him a short, edited version of her name change, her eyes not once wavering from his face: "While I was divorcing my first husband, my father has used his connections to arrange for me to be entered into the Witness Protection Programme. My father has passed away and I never knew who had helped him. I don't think I can go to the FBI anyway, not only to not get somebody in trouble, but also because my name change and the circumstance surrounding it have to remain a private affair. All we need to know is how I can prove that I am the same person so I can sell the properties that I own and add the money to the trust fund."

Adam Barnes was still weary but enquired of where the properties were located, explaining that the legislation was probably different in different states. By a happy coincidence it turned out that Mr Barnes was licensed to practice in the state of Washington. He did however not know off hand what documents would be required for the proof of identity and they agreed that he was going to contact them early the following week with that information.

Ana finally produced the divorce papers, once again with the names blacked out.

"There is one last matter for which we would like to have your opinion", she said. "Could you explain to us the terms of this settlement?"

Adam Barnes glanced at the topmost paper before informing them: "These are papers relating to a divorce procedure. My specialty is in property law and assets management. Were these documents not explained to you at the time?"

"I'm sorry, this must sound irresponsible, but it was a very emotional time for me. Could you just go through these papers with us?" Ana insisted.

Mr Burns took several minutes to read through the documents, frowning and occasionally raising an eyebrow. Finally he lifted his eyes from the papers and looked at them with a serious expression on his face.

"These documents mention a child. If I am to have any involvement at all with any aspect of your affairs I will need to be convinced that you have not in fact removed the child without his father's knowledge or that the removal was otherwise sanctioned by a court of law. Before you say anything else you should be aware that despite your client privilege and the NDA, in kidnapping cases courts have compelled attorneys to disclose the whereabouts of their clients."

With that he sat back in his chair and gave both of them a stern look.

It was obvious that the lawyer's words had hit Ana hard. The previously confident demeanour had vanished. She was pale and had shrunk back in the chair, one of her hands gripping the armrest while the other was crushing Dan's right hand.

"Belle?" He asked her

She nodded and Dan explained: "Mr Burns, I am afraid that you are correct. It's a long story and I don't think you need all the details, but my wife has in fact disappeared with the child. The father has been aware of our location for many years and he has never reported the child missing. That child is now an adult. Would all this make a difference?"

His speech has been met with more of the same stern look and hard stare, but then Adam Burns leaned his head to one side: "Perhaps. However I have no way to verify all this Mr Parson." He then shifted his gaze over to Ana.

To Dan's surprise she let go of his hand and once again produced a set of documents from her hand bag and handed them over to the lawyer.

As soon as he glanced at the topmost document he stiffened and mostly stared, wide eyed, at what was in front of him. When after several seconds he remembered to blink he turned towards his computer and started to furiously type on the keyboard, his eyes moving rapidly over the lines of text followed by more typing. Finally his eyes stilled and he turned his head towards the couple in front of him. He visibly swallowed a couple of times, then passed one hand over his mouth and ended up rubbing his forehead, his eyes closed.

"You understand why I was hoping to keep his name out of this meeting." Ana offered.

Adam Burns opened his eyes and after one last assessing look at both of them he proceeded to translate the legal jargon into everyday language. To Ana's dismay, Dan's impression had been correct: Christian had signed divorce papers in which she had offered him unlimited access to his son and shared decision making. She thanked the lawyer in a quiet, subdued voice and remained quiet while Dan and Adam Burns agreed on the details of future contact.

As soon as his customers left his office Adam Barnes opened the carved wood door to the cabinet on the right hand wall and poured a measure of whiskey in a heavy crystal glass. Christian Grey's wife and son! He had done the maths while reading the papers; the boy was now twenty one. He had been missing?! He asked his secretary to reschedule his next appointment. He had more important matters to attend to for the next hour or so, for example scouring the internet for any scrap of information he could find about his newest client and any databases for children reported missing.

Ana was still silent, lost in thought on the drive home. Dan was also trying to sort through the information they had received.

"I should have thought about the thing with the properties being in another state," he said. "It's really lucky that Mr Barnes is licensed in Washington."

Ana let out a small sigh and shook her head. "I don't think it has anything to do with luck, Dan."

"What do you mean?"

"I think this was part of the instructions Luke was given when he was asked to find a lawyer."

Dan took a moment to think over this new piece of information. He could feel a growing appreciation for the kind of effort Christian Grey had put into finding a suitable lawyer for them, but once again he felt unsure of Grey's motives. It was obvious that he was trying to ensure the situation was resolved quickly and with a minimum of fuss. But was that because he was keen to close this chapter in his life or was it his way of making things easy for his ex-wife?

This brought his mind back to the woman herself and how she handled the meeting: "You were something else in there, how you got him to sit back down. I thought we had lost him for sure."

Ana was going to try and explain what she did when a vivid memory started playing in her mind:

_She was about to negotiate her first major contract with an author at GP and had been jittery and unsure. He was a well-known author and GP needed the contract and he knew it. She was afraid he will walk all over her and that she will make a fool of herself in the meeting. Christian had tried to talk her through some tips on how to stay on top of the meeting and in the end he had videotaped one of his own meetings with his head of departments and they had used it as an example. He had talked her through it: how to sit in the chair, where to keep her hands, how to control her facial expressions, what to do with her eyes. _

"_But what about taking notes", she had said, "I might not remember all he says."_

"_You have people who can take notes for you. Get one of the secretaries to sit in the meeting. __**You**__ need to listen, not only to what he says, but how he says it. Watch his body language. Where does he pause? Is he clearing his throat? Shifts in his seat? Wrings his hands?"_

_She had gotten the contract, maybe not exactly as she wanted it, but Christian's advice had been useful. She had noticed when the author was unsure, the way he accelerated his speech, diverted his eyes. By the time it was her turn to speak she had an idea of his weaknesses and of what he considered really important. _

She had watched that video dozens of times and she could still see his face, hear his calm, competent voice coaching her, his hands….She clenched her fists hard, digging her nails into her palm, hoping the pain will be enough to distract her from the memory. It was gone, not hers, never to be had again.

She had not had much use for this kind of skills while working as a library assistant, but some of them had made an appearance while she was trying to gain support for her ideas and now that she was managing the place she will need them more often. It had come so naturally today, sitting at the table, negotiating. The slight rush of adrenaline, the satisfaction when the lawyer had sat back down…Did she miss that? She used to hate those situations!

Dan had hoped his remark would restore her mood, but when she remained silent and obviously lost in her own thoughts he moved a hand away from the wheel and blindly reached for hers: "Are you OK?"

This brought her back to her current dilemma: "I have lied to him Dan. I honestly thought the plan was temporary but I did promise he will be able to see his son and then I took Eddy and ran."

"Belle, what you did was wrong, there's no way around that. But it was a long time ago and he did find you and chose to stay away. Even now, he is leaving all the decisions up to you: what to tell Eddy and what to do with the money. I can't say that I understand all of this very well, but it is what it is. Let's see what the lawyer says about your name first and also what Eddy wants to do and we'll take it from there. OK?" he ended with a quick look towards her.

She sighed: "It's not only that, Dan. All these years, I thought they had abandoned me, written us off. But that wasn't true. They didn't just contact Luke and the security team. They contacted Kate as well and they tried to come to Montesano. Kate said dad had trouble keeping them away."

He couldn't help scoffing at that last remark: "And how would you know she is telling the truth this time?"

Her eyes wondered to the sight through the window. They had left Charlotte and there was not much to see on the empty stretch of road. She refused to shed the tears that were threatening to spill on her cheeks, but she couldn't stop the trembling in her voice when she spoke: "They were, _are_, good people. This makes much more sense than the silence." She took a shuddering breath. "I am the one who shut everybody out instead."

The silence once again stretched in the car. Ana was looking through the window and occasionally dabbing at her eyes, wiping tears Dan guessed. He could not think of anything to say to her that he had not already said so he concentrated on driving and allowed her some time to sort out her feelings. They were almost home when he remembered:

"Eddy called. How many tickets do we want for graduation?"

"Tickets? Why would we need tickets, it's a free entrance as I remember."

"Apparently students have been asked to put down the names of the people they are inviting."

"Well, I expect Nick and Emma will be there, so four."

Dan was about to add something but she continued before he got a chance: "I'll have to contact them, apologize to them somehow."

That was something he had not foreseen. That Eddy's biological father would be present at graduation was one thing but there was every indication that he meant what he had said: that he will stay away. He had considered the possibility that Eddy might want to find out more and knew he would have to accept that. But the idea of Belle making contact with the people in her previous life brought a different kind of fear, a feeling of insecurity and loss. He stopped the car in the front of the house and turned to his wife: "It wasn't your fault, Belle."

"Maybe not entirely, but still." She turned towards him and took his hand in hers, the physical contact anchoring her, giving her strength to say the words: "The hurt I felt at being abandoned by everybody…I know now that they have not done that, and I still can't shake the feeling. They must have felt and still feel, the same way towards me: that I have abandoned them, that I have deceived them, that they were not important enough for me. I hate that dad and Kate have put us all through this! It's a terrible feeling, Dan. I have to put it right somehow."

Her eyes were blazing by the end of the tirade, the same intensity he had seen in them when she was speaking about one of her work projects. Even her cheeks had regained some colour and now had a slight flush to them.

"This is important to you." He said

Ana bit her bottom lip and nodded.

He sighed: "Do you know what you are going to say?"

The fire in her eyes dulled a little as she considered his question and added a few of her own. Who to contact: Grace? Elliot? Carrick? Probably all of them. How? A letter, maybe. And then Dan's question: how could she explain her own foolishness, her lack of faith and trust in them? She was going to have to tell them about her father and the thought that they would think badly of him was upsetting in spite of everything he had done. Could she do this without implicating Kate? Did she want to implicate her? Would that be some kind of revenge? Is that what she wanted?

She let go of Dan's hand, her previous determination subdued and uncertainty creeping in her voice: "I'll have to think about it."

Over the next three days the guilt she felt over causing others the kind of suffering she had lived with threatened to crush her. She alternated between quiet periods of melancholy and launching herself with abandon in activities around the house. She replanted her garden on Saturday, then had lunch with Linda and spent the rest of the evening cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. Dan's feeble attempts to get her to slow down were met with offers for elaborate dinner plans and ended with Ana proposing a full schedule for their Saturday, including a trip to a park all the way to Charlotte.

The trip offered an opportunity for Emma's test drive, which had gone well with only one minor incident when Mandy had recognized Jake's mother outside one of the shops in town. But despite her frantic "Stop the car! Stop the car!" Emma had remembered to signal and pull to the side safely, so Dan was now going to look for a suitable car for her sixteen's birthday.

By Sunday evening Ana was no closer to making a decision on how to apologize to the Grey's. Each option she considered only raised more questions.

Dan found her sitting at the kitchen table making a list with her options:

Grace – is old and is probably angry with me? Is it OK for me to barge into her life like this?

Elliot – married to Kate; is he angry with me? He'll probably remember Kate was in contact with me then. Will this cause a problem in their marriage?

Will they tell Christian I wrote to them?

That's where she had stopped writing, starring at the line.

"Those are good questions." Dan said, mindful to not startle her.

She raised her head, her eyes a little unfocused.

"I'll have to write to him Dan."

Dan sat down across the table from her. He had reached the same conclusion but he was not ready to admit it yet, so he waited for her to explain.

"I took his son away from him. Now that I know he cared, I have to apologize somehow."

He remained silent, his eyes avoiding hers. It was the reasonable, decent thing to do, he could logically understand that. But he couldn't ignore the fact that her words had evoked a clear resounding 'no' in him. He could feel the tension in his back and shoulders and his heart started racing. Before he realized what he was doing he stood up from the chair and walked out of the kitchen and out the front door and found himself in front of the house. Without any particular destination in mind he started walking, hands in his pockets, taking long strides into the dark.

**AN: Next chapter "A day at the office" will contain a few minor and one major clue for future chapters.**


	13. Summer Storm Ch13 A day at the office

** AN: I thought I'd post this before I get all caught up in the Christmas celebrations. Merry Christmas!**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Dan split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 13 A day at the office

Dan walked through the dark and empty streets, his mind empty, his body craving the physical exertion. While in the police force he had experienced a few times the sweaty palms, the racing heart and the tense muscles that came with the rush of adrenaline. He had not expected to relieve fight or flight impulse while sitting in his own kitchen. With no obvious enemy to fight he had chosen flight.

As the hormones slowly webbed away and his pace slowed down, he tried to figure out what had caused the unsettling feeling. His instincts told him that Christian Grey was not a threat in himself. While looking for information on his wife's ex he had realized that GEH did not have any business in the south-east at all. They were all over the rest of the country, but nothing east of Arkansas or south of Virginia. There had to be another explanation than the lack of business opportunities and he thought he knew what that was: Grey had created a 10-state-wide no man's land around his ex-wife.

As he did after the meeting with the lawyer, he wondered if the reason was to protect Belle's peace of mind or to protect himself from her and their child reappearing into his life. As for that letter, he could not find any other explanation for it than what he had already told Belle: whatever it was that Grey wanted, he was leaving it up to her to make the decision, to take the next step.

He stopped in the middle of the unfamiliar street: Belle. Her name had reignited that unsettling feeling inside of him. He turned around and started walking back, much slower this time. After her reaction to the letter and to the award, he didn't need her words to know that she was not done with Christian Grey. She was hurt and felt betrayed and she had said that she would not forgive, but she had never met him, never talked to him since his affair. If this were him and Jane…There it was again: the warm feeling inside, his heart beat stronger, the smells and sounds around him more immediate, all those sensations he had never felt when thinking of Belle. Jane had been 'the one' for him, but Jane was gone and Belle was who he was coming home to in the evening. She had made a home for them and their children.

He knew Belle was the driving force in their marriage, especially where the children were concerned. He would have settled for whatever the local schools had to offer but she pushed them to study languages and music. She sat with them and did homework. Belle who didn't speak any foreign language herself trying to help Eddy with his French and Nick with his Spanish at the same time was still one of the funniest evenings he could remember. That is until she got him to work with Eddy while she stayed with Nick. That's one of the things she did: involved him and made him feel useful and needed. Tonight he had left her sitting there at the kitchen table.

He was almost home, one more turn and then he'd be on their street. The thought brought a sense of safety, security and comfort. He made up his mind while walking towards the lit porch of their home: she was right that she'd have to write to Grey. But she could do it just once, when they knew what Eddy wanted to do.

He stepped through the front door and switched off the porch light, then walked through the darkened family room and the corridor to their bedroom. Belle was already in bed so he undressed and showered then slipped under the covers. He reached over and placed a kiss on her cheek. First lightly then with more pressure he caressed her arm and the length of her body until she turned in his arms and opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry I walked out on you. We'll figure this out."

She reached up to his face and caressed his cheek: "Yes, we will."

His hand now rested on her lower back. He pressed a little harder to bring her body closer and leaned his face into her caress. Then he moved his hand further down the curve of her body and his touch changed from tender and caring to something more demanding. He needed his wife.

Ana noticed the change and relaxed into her husband's embrace. The past two weeks had brought back so much of the hurt and the angst she had felt after her divorce that she too needed this: she needed to feel wanted, desired, protected. She needed some relief from the guilt that was clawing at her and perhaps a form of justification, some proof that all the suffering had not been for nothing. She had Dan, they had a family.

There is an East European proverb that loosely translates as "The morning mocks the night's decision." Ana's plans for her Monday morning were thrown out the window almost as soon as she sat down at her desk in the morning.

The library she was now managing was the small public library in town. The staff was comprised of seven employees including herself and the budget that the town council allocated was enough to cover the running costs with less than $50,000 left for investments, repairs and any initiatives they wanted to run. They had been relying heavily on donations and volunteers for anything else besides lending books. Then four years ago Ana got involved in the project which ultimately led to her current position as director of the library.

After her accident Emma had been in hospital for nine weeks and she needed help with distance learning. Over the following summer she also needed extra tutoring to catch up and improve her grades, but the help the school could offer was limited. Emma eventually managed to save her school year and Ana had used her experience with the difficulties she had faced to put together a plan to involve the library in helping other pupils who might be struggling. Despite a positive response from the local PTAs and the boards of the local schools, the funding for the project was no more than a trickle. In a last attempt to obtain some more substantial support, and despite Michelle Jones's - her predecessor- pessimistic warnings, she had presented her idea at a town council meeting. Once again the response had been positive but no promise of additional funds was made.

Two weeks after the council meeting Michelle had returned from a meeting with the library board, crossed the library floor to where Ana stood and embraced her into a bear hug: "You've done it! I don't know who you have impressed but you have the funding and then some." she had said, and explained that the town council had received an anonymous donation of $100,000, ear marked for the library, with a promise that the donation would be renewed yearly for at least five years. In the past few years that donation had helped fund several projects, including hers.

This Monday morning however said donation was the main cause behind the deep furrow between Ana's eyebrows. In two days she was due to meet with representatives of the local schools and PTAs to discuss present and future projects. Her task this morning was to decide how much money she could commit to new ideas. Her plan had been simple: check the balance on the account, subtract the amounts already promised elsewhere and make a note of how much would be left for new initiatives.

Her first meeting with the library board three weeks ago had not mentioned any increase in funding but now she was staring at a bank statement which indicated that an additional $150,000 had been deposited in the account as of the previous Thursday. After an hour spent checking past transactions and meeting minutes, she was left with no other solution than to email the treasurer with a copy of the current bank statement and a polite request for an explanation, which she could only hope was not seen as naïve.

A cup of tea, a quick meeting with Jenna (the head of the children's section) and twenty minutes spent with Rachel (their newest volunteer) and she was back at her desk, this time to start reading through the proposals for new activities for the library. A few of those where well written and detailed, but most where little more than an idea jotted down on a piece of paper, leaving her with the task to figure out what resources would be needed and how much they would ultimately cost. By lunchtime the treasurer had still not replied to her email and she decided she needed a bit of fresh air.

Her regular lunch spot was a small "mom and pop" place just around the corner from the library building. The bell above the door jingled when she entered and the smell of soup and freshly baked bread greeted her before Sally, the owner, appeared from the kitchen.

"Belle, how nice to see you!"

"Thanks, Sally, you too. Looks busy today."

"It's the she crab soup. Sure way to fill up the place." Replied Sally with a hearty laugh.

"Sounds great. I could do with some comfort food."

"They are not working you too hard, are they?"

"Oh, no, no. But it has been busy."

"Well, why don't you sit down and I'll have Mary bring you a bowl of soup and some bread. Would you like something to drink?"

"Just some water, please, Sally."

The soup was delicious and the freshly baked bread was crusty on the outside and still warm on the inside. Ana's eyes roamed over the full dinner and she nodded at a few familiar faces, other regulars of the small establishment. As she was taking her time savouring her meal the room was slowly emptying, the lunch service coming to an end. She knew she had to go back to the office soon but was enjoying just a few more minutes of relaxation when the doorbell jingled again and an elderly lady entered the now mostly empty restaurant.

Mrs Dawson looked older than Ana remembered her and with a pang of guilt she realized it had been at least five years since she had seen the wonderful person who had taught Eddy to play the piano and whose husband had taught Emma and Nick to play guitar.

During the first few months after Emma was born, before she could return to work full time, she and Eddy would eat lunch in the small dinner and then spend a couple of hours in the library where she was volunteering for the pre-school story time. It's on one of those days that she had heard the piano playing from across the street and noticed the window advert for piano lessons for children. Mr and Mrs Dawson, she had learned, had moved from Charlotte to Rock Hill as Mr Dawson's ill health no longer permitted him to work and the costs and distances were more manageable in the smaller town. Mrs Dawson had been tutoring children for several years to supplement their income and was now trying to find some students in Rock Hill. Eddy had shown an immediate fascination with the piano and for the first six months he had had twice-weekly lessons for free as long as Ana promised to spread the word about the piano teacher among the parents at the library. Even later, the fees Mrs Dawson charged her had always been so small that Ana suspected she had some kind of 'friend discount'.

She had just stood up to greet the elderly lady when Sally emerged from the kitchen.

"Rowena, here you are. Everything all right with Robert?" she said while embracing the late customer.

"Hello, Sally. Yes, he's fine. His carer was a little late coming in, some car trouble I believe, but he is there now." Mrs Dawson replied returning the embrace.

Ana had stopped a short distance away to allow the two women some privacy but when they stepped out of their mutual embrace she approached them with a smile and an outstretched hand.

"Mrs Dawson, it's so nice to see you! I am Belle Parson, Eddy and Nick and Emma's mother."

"Oh dear, of course I know who you are! And how are your children? Has Eddy heard from Harvard yet?" said Rowena Dawson shaking Ana's hand

"Yes, he has. He is going to start there in the fall. Pardon my curiosity but how do you know about that?"

"He told me when he came to see us at Christmas. Please tell him I am so happy for him, I know how anxious he was. Did he find his song yet?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know. Which song?"

"That sonata he keeps trying to find. Well, at least we think it's a sonata."

Shaking her head Ana told her: "I'm afraid I still don't know very much about music. I'll ask him. And how is Mr Dawson?"

"Not very well, I'm afraid. His Parkinson's is getting worse and the medication doesn't really help anymore. I can't leave him alone for more than a few minutes. I honestly don't know what I would have done without the carers coming in every day."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs Dawson. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know."

"Thank you, that is very kind of you, but we have all the help we need. I didn't realize all those years ago when we moved here how useful it would be to have this kind of help available. I didn't even know health insurance would cover all of that."

"Well, just in case, I am still working at the library so please don't hesitate to ask if there's anything. And I'm glad at least Eddy has had the good manners to visit you. Really, I am embarrassed that I have not said hello in such a long time."

"Oh, please don't be embarrassed. Life moves on, I know how busy it can get. Eddy is really a good boy. Well, man, now. You didn't know he comes to see us?"

Her cheeks pink with embarrassment at her own neglect and pride for her son Ana said: "No, I didn't."

"Every Christmas, without fail, and sometimes in the summer, he comes by and spends a couple of hours with us. He's a really good piano player, you know."

"Thank you. If he is, he owes it to you, to your kindness and patience with him all those years ago."

"Nonsense" Rowena waved the compliment away. "He was such a gifted student it was a joy to teach him."

"Well thank you anyway. I am afraid I have to go now, but I will let Eddy know I have seen you and again, if there's anything I can do I am just across the street."

Ana left the two elderly women and walked the short distance back to her office. She had no idea Eddy had been visiting the Dawsons and what was that about a song he was looking for?

All too soon she was once again lost in her tasks and the afternoon flew by with few interruptions. By five she had shortlisted five proposals and had placed another three into a 'maybe' folder. Not wanting to leave things for the last day before the meeting she took the two most interesting proposals with her to work on at home.

On Mondays Emma had a French club after school so that was the day Ana did her weekly shopping. Last Monday she had just done a quick round at Earth Fare, but now they were out of almost everything so she drove straight to Bi-Lo. Her shopping done, her eyes immediately darted to where she had parked her car and confirmed that it was still flanked by two empty parking bays. Rolling her eyes at her own silliness and dismissing the mixture of relief and disappointment that battled inside of her, she transferred the groceries from the trolley to her car booth and was finally on her way home.

Emma arrived just a few minutes after her, banging the front door and shouting in the empty family room "I'm home!"

"I could hear you!" Ana replied from the kitchen.

When Emma appeared in the kitchen door Ana shook her head at her: "Can you please hold the door when you close it?"

"Yes, ma'am." Emma said and sauntered across the kitchen to plant a kiss on her mom's cheek. "What are you making, smells good."

"Brown sauce. The smell is the melted butter. I could show you if you want, it's really easy."

"Uh, thanks, I'll pass. I could never be as good as you and Nick anyway."

Of her three children Nick was the only one that had shown an interest in cooking and he was getting pretty good at it before he left for college. Eddy could manage a few simpler dishes, but Emma's skills were on par with her father's, limited to steaks, eggs, pasta and potatoes.

"I'll go change and can you call me when dinner's ready? I want to check something on our dance routine and I just got the video from last week today."

"Fine, go, do your thing. I'll see you later."

Ana shook her head and decided that during summer leave she will have to get Emma to help a little more in the kitchen.

The wild rice was cooked and the meat was gently bubbling in the brown sauce when Dan arrived, his entrance much more sedate than his daughter's.

"Ummm, smells delicious. But can you keep it for an hour or so?"

"I can if I have to, but it will get a little dry. Why?"

"I was thinking that perhaps I should start doing a little more exercise again and I was going to go for a run."

Since Eddy had moved to Carolina, Dan had not had many opportunities to engage in anything physically challenging and it had started showing around his waist.

"Oh, ok. Emma's busy as well and I have brought some work home so I guess dinner will be late tonight."

"Do you mind?"

"No." Ana smiled to reassure him that she was not upset. "Go run. I'll reheat when you get back."

With Emma in her room and Dan gone for a little while, Ana spread her papers on the kitchen table and started making notes but was interrupted after only a few minutes by her phone.

"Hello."

"Hello Anabelle, this is Jamie Watson. Sorry I didn't reply to your email, but I had to look it up myself. I guess changing the Director and the Treasurer at the same time was not a very smart move."

Ana chuckled. "Hi Jamie. No I guess it was not the best combination. Did you find out what happened?"

"Well, so far I have confirmed that the transfer is correct. It was going to be on the agenda for next Monday: whoever your generous sponsor is, you have another $150,000 to play with, bringing the total to a quarter of a million dollars."

"Wow, that's…I don't know what to say. Is it a one off payment?"

"I am not sure yet. All I know is that it's from the same source as before. Stewart might know more but he has been in meetings all day and I have not been able to get in touch with him. I'm sure he'll let us know Monday but I presume you would like to know before your meeting day after tomorrow?"

"That would be very helpful, yes."

"Ok, I'll see if I can find out tomorrow. I must say you are one lucky lady. Do you realize this is about a hundred times more than the usual regular donations? And those come from businesses and such, all looking for tax relief or some favour in return."

"So who is behind this, then?"

"A private donor. You didn't know?"

Ana's heart started hammering against her chest. "No, I didn't know. A hundred times, huh? Do you know who the donor is?"

"No. That's just it. It's a private anonymous donation. Anyway, I'll see what I can find out tomorrow and let you know."

"Ok, Jamie, thank you. I'll wait to hear from you tomorrow."

Ana ended the call but kept looking at the phone in her hand. She had a quarter of a million to spend. That would cover at least four of the projects she had short listed. A hundred times more than the usual amounts, from a private donor, Jamie had said. At one point in her life she had had to divide prices by a hundred in order for the numbers to make sense. The kitchen with the wooden table and the chair she sat on felt alien and for a moment she felt like an outsider, like she was merely observing the woman seated there, frowning at her phone. She shook her head and put the phone back in her bag together with all the papers. Work could wait, she needed her family. Without looking back she went upstairs and knocked on Emma's door.

**AN: Next chapter - Ana gets more information than she has bargained for**


	14. Summer Storm Ch14 Jigsaw Puzzle

**AN: I hope you have all enjoyed a Merry Christmas and have had loved ones spoil you rotten! For just this once I would like to address a guest review, but only to say this: I am deeply grateful to anybody leaving a review, but if you do that as a guest I can't answer your questions. **

**On to the chapter in which Ana is, again, given a new perspective on the world around her. **

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Dan split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 14 Jigsaw puzzle

The following morning Ana woke up with mixed feelings of apprehension and excitement. While driving to work she concluded it had to be the anxiety of waiting to know if the increase in funding was a one off or not. She knew it would take a while for Jamie to get back to her. Like the other members of the board he was only volunteering his time and she was certain he would be busy with his day job as an accountant. Stewart, their current president, was even busier as the owner of a private construction firm.

She spent the morning polishing the details of the three most interesting proposals and an hour looking over the staff rota over the summer. She had a short lunch break in the small staff room at the back of the library and used the time to catch up with the gossip. Then what had been a good morning turned into a great afternoon when a brief email from Jamie confirmed that the increase in funding had been promised for five years with no conditions attached other than that it should be used for the library at the director's discretion.

Finally - finally!- she had a chance to start the outreach programme she had discussed with Michelle until they were both blue in the face. She knew without looking over the papers what was needed: a car to drive the books to and from people who could not make their way to the library – Dan would be the best person to asks about that; one more member of staff – she'll need to convince the board; figure out a list of Spanish books to acquire as the Spanish community were among the intended beneficiaries of the scheme – Nick had a lot of friends in the Spanish community, he might be able to recommend someone interested to help, and she could ask for help at the meeting Wednesday; statistics on books checked out by members over 65 – her staff could help with that. The list went on but she could feel the wheel cogs turning and every single item had either a solution or at least a starting point. By five o'clock she was keen to get home and share the news with Dan.

At dinner it was for once Emma who had to keep silent while her parents were discussing Ana's news and exchanging ideas. Dan and Emma were left to tidy up while Ana went to get paper and pen to write down some of the information from Dan and then she had planned to rehearse her speech for the next day. With one more look over her notes she lifted her head, eyes shining with excitement: "Thanks Dan, this is very useful. I can't believe I didn't think of the car insurance."

Smiling at her enthusiasm he nodded his acceptance of her thank you and added: "I'll look into lease options for you tomorrow and let you know."

Emma had finished putting the dishes away and was waiting by the counter, looking from one parent to the other much as she had done for the past twenty minutes or so. They seemed to have finally finished talking about her mom's work so she took the opportunity to ask: "Mom, is Carla coming to graduation?"

The smile slowly faded from Ana's face.

The idea of getting old did not sit well with Carla now Livingston and she had asked that the children call her by her name rather than anything that would even hint to her being a grandmother. She was married for the fifth time and living in New Orleans, in the ancestral mansion of her current husband. Derek Livingston was eleven years older than her, the last surviving member of ten generations of Livingstons. Ana had met him three times in the ten years since he had married her mother and neither liked nor disliked him. She had also only seen Carla twice without Derek. On every occasion Carla had been criticising some aspect of her life and she had not made a secret of her disapproval of Emma's appearance in their life, Dan's profession or his level of income. The thought of inviting Carla to Eddy's graduation hadn't even crossed her mind.

"No, I don't think so. Why?"

"Well, I was going to ask Eddy if he can get tickets for Mandy and her mom, but Carol-Ann told Jake they were limited to eight tickets per student so there was no point if Carla was coming."

Frowning Ana asked: "I can understand Mandy, but why would her mom want to come?"

Emma shrugged: "I don't know. She is really weird these days. First she told Mandy she should go as it was an opportunity to be with Jake outside of Rock Hill, but then she said Mandy can only go if she comes. But Carol-Ann's grand-parents are coming so there's only one ticket left."

This time it was Dan who asked: "Not that I understand why these people would like to come but even with Carla and Derek there's only six of us."

"Oh I already promised Jenny I'll ask for tickets for her and her mom."

"Wait a minute," Ana said, "since when are Jenny and her mom coming to Eddy's graduation?"

"Uh, I forgot to tell you. Well I didn't even ask Eddy yet, but it's like everybody's gone crazy about this thing. It wasn't even Jenny who asked, it was her mom. 'It's such a unique opportunity to hear one of the most successful businessmen in the country'" Emma said, mimicking Jenny's mom's high pitched voice. "As if she's ever been interested in business. She always complains how much Jenny's dad works."

It was Dan's turn to lose some of his good mood. He couldn't help a glance towards his wife. Ana was shaking her head, her face serious, her lips pursed.

"Emma" she started then paused. "Look," she continued, "this is a family affair. We are going so we can be there for Eddy, to congratulate him and celebrate with him. If you want to bring your friends, Dan and I will discuss it. But their mothers…it just doesn't seem right."

She looked at Dan. Her words had lifted his spirits somewhat and he rushed to support her decision.

"I agree. We'll think about Jenny and Mandy, but, as your mom said, this is Eddy's day and it doesn't sound like those two women have any interest in celebrating Eddy."

"But dad, they are my best friends and I promised!"

"You promised you will ask and now you have asked and we said no."

"But why? They don't have to sit with us if you don't want them to."

"Well now that would be awkward, don't you think? Asking them to sit somewhere else, I mean. No Emma. Just tell them we said no, that we want to keep this a family event."

Like all children, Emma had often tried and occasionally succeeded in playing one of her parents against the other. This time the look on her mom's face and the slow affirmative nod stopped her from even trying.

"It's not fair" she said and stormed out of the kitchen then rushed up the stairs to her room.

After Emma's dramatic exit the silence in the kitchen was heavy and awkward.

"Dan, I'm sorry. It's…"Ana said threading her fingers through her short locks.

Dan moved from where he stood in the middle of the kitchen and sat in the chair next to her.

"You were right, Belle. We are going for Eddy, to be with him. I'm not interested in anybody else being there," he said, his expression neutral and his voice firm. "Is this your speech?" he nodded towards the papers on the table.

A little surprised at the change of subject Ana looked down at the scribbled pages. "Yes, it is. I thought it would be a good idea to read it a few more times."

"Well, if you want, we can move to the couch and you can practice on me."

The meeting on Wednesday was a yearly event dating back to when the library was started as a voluntary library, financed solely by voluntary contributions. Despite the history it was a rather informal gathering attended by the President of the Board, the library Director and any school governors or PTA representatives who were willing to attend. Ana had only been there three times before - twice as a PTA representative and once when she had delivered her impassionate speech for the tutoring scheme- but she had met some of the governors and PTA representatives through the years, while working with them on various projects. The knowledge that she will be surrounded by mostly familiar faces and the informal atmosphere helped with the butterflies in her stomach, however as the room filled and Stewart was nowhere to be found her nervousness increased and her eyes kept darting to the door. Finally he appeared: a short rotund man, his salt-and-pepper hair in a crown around the baldness on the top of his head, his brown eyes sweeping through the room until they landed on her.

With a smile spreading on his face and casual nods towards various guests he approached her with his arm extended ready for a handshake.

"Apologies for my late arrival, my previous meeting ran over."

"Hello, Stewart. No problem, I think everybody is enjoying the opportunity to catch up."

"Oh, good," Stewart said, his eyes sweeping the room full of people talking in small groups. "Speaking of which I wonder if I could have a moment of your time after the meeting, there is something I'd like to talk to you about."

"Sure. We could go to my office if you want."

"Oh, it's not about the library. Perhaps I could buy you a coffee?"

"Of course" Ana said, a little intrigued. After all she had only met Stewart once before, at her first board meeting.

"Well, shall we start then?"

In a very flattering but mercifully brief statement Stewart officially introduced her as the newly appointed library director and then it was her turn. The first point on the agenda was to discuss current projects. It was quickly agreed that two of the schemes had run their course and the resources could be freed for other needs. When the time came for her to present which initiatives she had selected for the coming year and to defend her choices, there were few objections and several suggestions were made for ways to improve the original proposals. The final part of the meeting was meant for any topics the guests wanted to discus. Ana knew she might still have to answer questions or offer an opinion, but the part where she was the main speaker was over so she sat back in her chair, breathing a sigh of relief. Dona Marple smiled and winked: "And blow," she told Ana in a whispered voice.

Ana shook her head at her. Dona was a Nurse-midwife working at the Piedmont Medical Centre and an active supporter of the library initiatives. She and Ana had a casual acquaintance fuelled by their common interest in literature and improving literacy.

It turned out that Stewart was able to either answer most of the questions or promise that they will be discussed at the following Library Board meeting and very little input was required of Ana. The dwindling number of raised hands and the increasing volume of whispers indicated that the meeting was reaching the end. Finally there was only one hand in the air.

"The gentleman at the back." Stewart said, unable to place a name to the face.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Dean Adams and I am one of the governors at Castle Heights Middle School."

This piqued Ana's attention. Castle Heights was where all her children had attended middle school.

"My question is beyond the scope of this meeting," Dean Adams was saying, "but I could not pass an opportunity to ask when so many of you are present. In a nut shell we are looking for a French tutor for our after school French club. The position is for two hours two days a week during school term. If any of you know someone who would be interested I would be grateful if you could spread the word."

"Isn't it rather unusual to have a foreign language club in middle school?" a woman asked.

"Yes, it is. As far as I am aware we are the only middle school in Rock Hill to offer this."

"I could circulate this in our school, Dean," said a female voice at Ana's left, "but does it have to be French? I think you would have an easier time recruiting a Spanish teacher."

Murmurs of approval rippled through the room.

"You are quite right, but we already have a Spanish club."

"So you have two language clubs? How well attended are they? Perhaps this is something we could look into as well." Said the president of Rawlinson Road PTA.

"To be honest in the eleven years we have run these clubs, the largest group has been four pupils and that was for Spanish."

It was obvious for Ana that Dean did not have a lot of support in the room. She looked at Diane. Eddy, Emma and Diane's daughter had all been members of the French club. At Diane's nod she cleared her throat: "I know about the club, Mr Adams. My two youngest children have been members and the eldest has attended the Spanish club. All of them have enjoyed it very much and found it very helpful once they started high school."

"So has my daughter," Diane took over. "In fact she is in France right now studying literature and I am sure her love of the language has started in that club."

Dean Adams smiled his gratitude at them both.

"I have seen this advertised, Dean," said Frank Hoffstetter, another school governor and a literature teacher at one of the high schools. "I take it you did not get any responses?"

"No, we haven't and I'm afraid we are running out of time."

"I thought you were looking for someone for the fall term." Said Frank

"We are, but we need to fill the position now. We have a grant that is due for renewal and offering at least two languages including French is the sole condition placed on the use of the funds."

Not sure what else she could say Ana remained quiet and surveyed the room. When her gaze fell on Stewart she noticed he was observing her with pursed lips and a slight frown. Wondering if she had done something wrong speaking in defence of the club she looked away. She was surprised and a little relieved to hear Stewart's voice: "Mr Adams, all of us in this room are aware of how important these grants can be for the smooth functioning of our institutions. I am certain that between all of us we will be able to help find a suitable candidate for the club. What is the best way to contact you?"

Ana noticed Stewart's eyes were casually moving over the rest of the guests, establishing eye contact with several of them and receiving small nods in return.

"Thank you Mr Brock. Via the school would be appropriate. This is an official position with usual terms and conditions, benefits and pay rates, and the successful applicant would be a full member of the staff." Dean finished his sales pitch.

It took another twenty minutes for the room to clear and finally Ana and Stewart were alone with the cleaning crew.

"Stewart, thank you for defending the French club. As it is not a library matter, I hope I was not out of line speaking up."

"Out of line? No, not at all. You sounded very keen on that club and throwing your weight around a little didn't do any harm."

Ana blushed at the implication that in her current position she had any weight to 'throw around'.

"If you are not in a hurry, can we still go for that cup of coffee?" asked Stewart.

"Oh, sure. Do you have a place in mind?"

"There's a Starbucks just two blocks away. We could leave the cars here, unless you'd prefer somewhere else?"

"Starbuck's fine." Ana answered with a smile.

The place was quite busy with the five o'clock crowd and they had to settle for bar stools at the end of the high table running the length of one wall, him with a coffee and Ana with a cup of tea.

"The meeting that run over earlier today," said Stewart, "was about the martial arts centre. Do you know about it?"

"I know there is one by CrossFit, that's where my boys went. "

"Your boys went there?" Stewart asked with obvious surprise.

"Yes. Nick, my eldest, had already done a little jujitsu in one of the smaller places, but that one was badly affected by the storm. We had trouble with the house as well and by the time we started looking for somewhere else for him to go, the centre had just opened. He liked it there and the following year his brother started as well but in Taekwondo."

Throughout her speech Stewart had been starring at her, his coffee forgotten on the table.

"Stewart, what is this about?" Ana asked now feeling quite uncomfortable.

He shook his head once as if to clear it. "Frankly, I am beginning to wonder the same thing. I know that sometimes people can just get lucky, but in your case things just seem to keep happening. "

Now frowning and her upper body leaning away from him, Ana chose her words carefully: "I am not sure what you mean."

"Before the meeting tonight, I was just going to ask if there was any chance that you knew who the sponsor for the library is. The centre is eight years old and while it is making a small profit it is nowhere enough to fund some of the repair and refurbishing work that is now needed. My firm is willing to supply the work force free of cost, but we need funding for materials and possibly some new equipment."

"I'm sorry, but I don't know who the sponsor is. What makes you think I do?"

"Well, I wasn't sure, but it was your speech four years ago that brought that 100,000 dollars donation. It can't be a coincidence that less than a month after you became Director that amount was more than doubled."

The vertical line between Ana's brows had grown deeper. The same unsettling feeling she had had two days ago resurfaced and was making her a little lightheaded.

Stewart was not done talking: "Tonight I found out that the school where your children attended has a grant that requires them to offer a foreign language club, which your children went to. And now you are telling me that they both went to the martial arts centre. Do you have an idea how much that centre cost to build?"

"No. Why would I?" said Ana feeling defensive.

"A little over two million dollars. It was about six months after the storm. Everybody was scraping the bottoms of their purses for money, materials, labour… Most of the major companies like Fortis and Build Group had started recalling the heavy machinery and the workers. Almost everybody else, Finfrock, Candlelight, Structura who had previously sent materials had reduced their help to a trickle. And then out of the blue I get a call from Posterus. Do you remember them?"

Numbness spreading over her Ana barely managed a nod. Posterus was one of the charities that had helped with the rebuilding process.

"They asked to meet with me. I know some of the things people are whispering about me, that I made my money out of the rebuilding effort. But I didn't make a penny on the houses. It was the deal with Posterus that placed my company on the map. They came to me with the plans already drawn and full funding for repairing the fitness centre and adding the Martial Arts annex."

The words were piling on top of each other in Ana's mind. Like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle when you first open the box, each individual word or sentence had little meaning. You need to start by separating them into smaller piles, ones that look similar: 'two million dollars', 'foreign language club grant', '100,000 dollars', 'a hundred times more'. Then you need to find a starting point, some obvious clue or a corner piece, something that will act as an anchor for the rest of the pieces and help create order from chaos. Two nights ago she had run from the kitchen table before her mind could supply that crucial piece of information. Seated here, perched on a bar stool between Stewart Brock and a wall, there was nowhere to run.

She bowed her head in defeat while the echo of a voice from another time, another life, precisely enunciated 'Anastasia, I earn roughly one hundred thousand dollars an hour.'

**AN: Next chapter will be Ana putting together the puzzle and what she makes of the resulting image.**


	15. Summer Storm Ch15 The full picture

**AN: Happy New Year to you all, and a heart felt thank you to all who not only read this but also take the time to review and PM. Your thoughts and comments are invaluable and make this a better story. **

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch15 The full picture

Her puzzle was not complete, she was still missing some pieces, but as she stared into her cup of tea Ana could no longer pretend she had no idea what the final result would be.

"Anabelle, look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I think I am just a little surprised and well, you have to admit that's a lot of coincidences."

The sound of her name dragged her back from the depths of her mind to the reality of the Starbucks café. She was surprised to notice her first instinct had been to shut the voice down, to stay where she was for just a little longer. But the spell was broken and she cleared her throat: "It's ok Stewart. I never thought of it that way, that all these grants and donations were so...timely."

She found the strength to raise her head but was not ready to look at anybody just yet so she stared at the wall in front of her: "Let me think about it for a couple of days. I'll get back to you."

She started fumbling with the strap of her bag and pushed against the edge of the table to stand up. "I have to go. I'll see you Monday, I guess."

Stewart stood up as well and shook her outstretched hand. "Ok. You have my email?"

"Yes, I think I do."

"Let me take you to your car."

"No, thanks, I am going up to the office first."

She mustered a small smile and briefly met his eyes before turning to leave. Then she stopped and turned back.

"The martial arts centre, who owns it?"

"The company is called Strike Zone, the trainers all have shares and are joint owners. Why?"

"You said that's how you made your money, but the plans and the funds came from Posterus. Did you own the land?"

"No, the land was communal property, owned by the city council. Still is, in fact. That's why it was so surprising that they had building permission. I suspect they had called in a favour or two in exchange for all the help they had provided with various city and communal buildings."

Not sure if she was disappointed or hopeful Ana asked: "So the Martial Arts centre was not the only building funded by Posterus?"

"No. They were behind the renovations in Cherry Park, the city hall and the library among others, the only private contribution towards city owned property in fact."

With her defences still down from her moment earlier on, Ana had no protection against the words. They fell on her ears and found the appropriate place in the puzzle next to the previous information: her place of work and her favourite park in the city. She should have known. She should have stopped asking while she was ahead.

Whatever emotion transformed her expression, Stewart Brook seemed to believe it warranted an explanation: "Even if they were not cashing in on favours, I got funds to pay my crew, the city is getting rent money off the land and whomever is behind Posterus got a sizeable tax relief on their donations, so business-wise it was a perfect all around winning scenario.

With a nod of her head Ana acknowledged: "Of course it was. Thank you, Stewart. Goodnight."

The street felt alien when she stepped outside into the early evening. The two blocks to the library building were a familiar route and her feet carried her without needing much conscious input. Her eyes roamed over the familiar buildings wondering which ones had been touched by his wealth, by his distant benevolence. Sally's dinner came into view. She crossed the street to the library and her daydream feeling was brought to an abrupt stop by the solid reality of the locked library door. A little surprised to be there, she looked behind her as if to reassure herself that she had actually travelled the distance from where she was before to where she now found herself standing. The picture revealed by the now neatly arranged words lingered at the fringe of her consciousness the way a dream might linger for a few moments before you truly wake up to the new day. Her eyes fell on the building across the street from Sally's and the final piece fell into place: Mrs Dawson's music school.

She had not lied to Stewart when she had said she wanted to go back to the office. At that moment in time she thought she needed pen and paper and a quiet moment to write things down, make a list, a time line of events. That had now become unnecessary: a musical instrument, a foreign language and a martial art. She had declined alimony or child support so he had ensured she had a job and was able to support their son. Throw in a park to spend some quality leisure time and a Christian-Grey-sized 'congratulations on your promotion' present in the form of a quarter of a million dollars grant, it all made perfect sense.

Her puzzle solved she walked away from the door towards the parking lot, deep in thought. Eddy was one thing but why her? The Rose award and now the grant for the library…was he sorry? Did he regret his affair, the end of their marriage? She had thought the award was an epitaph of sorts, 'forever more' being a better motto than 'in memoriam', but why the grant?

She reached the deserted parking lot and got in the car. When she looked into the rear-view mirror a pair of questioning blue eyes stared back at her. Her own voice mixed with his whispered in her head: "what do _you_ want Anastasia?"

"Anabelle. My name is Anabelle Parson." She said out loud to silence the voices and turned her head away from the haunted eyes in the mirror. The car wheel felt more solid under her hands, the library building now gliding away on her left was also a solid, familiar presence. She would not cry. She would not let old wounds reopen and tear her apart. Her sanity slowly returning she started to consider another option: perhaps she was just reading too much into this. So what if someone had helped with the city buildings. Surely there was someone else around who cared enough to help?

Inspiration struck just as she was merging into the evening traffic: she could deliver a speech to the city council meeting in support of the Martial Arts Centre, see if the history repeated itself. She also needed to find a way to verify her suspicions about Mrs Dawson's sudden and convenient appearance in Rock Hill, in an ideal spot for her to notice the music school.

And then she slapped her forehead: six months free of charge and the low fees for the lessons! She had thought the woman liked her and maybe even considered her a friend. Unbidden an image of Gail and Jason Taylor crossed her mind and left her with a bitter taste in her mouth. Like them, Mrs Dawson was just another one of Christian's employees, another person keeping his secrets and probably laughing behind her back at how naïve she was.

The guilt of having taken Eddy away from him was somewhat relieved by the conviction that Christian had found a way to support them although enough guilt was left that she could not find it in herself to be angry at being manipulated by Mrs Dawson and who knew who else. It was a small price to pay, she decided, and let it go.

The evening was still young and another surprise was waiting for her at home: for the first time in several years - certainly since Nick had moved out - she was greeted by the smell of food.

"Dan?" she shouted from the corridor.

"Ah, here you are! Come in, I have a surprise for you." Said Dan from the door to the family room.

Unsure of herself, Ana curbed her smile at the sight of her husband wearing an apron and took the four steps from the garage door to the family room.

"Ta Da!" Dan said and stepped aside to allow her full view of the room. Ana's eyes roamed over the empty space in the middle and the furniture that had been pushed as close to the walls as it would go.

"Wha…?"

Dan took her hand and backed into the redecorated room. "Emma is at dance so I thought you and I could also do a little practice. Maybe I could avoid another lecture next month." He said and winked at her.

Ana finally dared to let her smile show. "You want to dance?"

"Well, we have danced before. I hadn't even realized how long it has been. So what do you say?"

"Oh, I'd love to dance with you, Senor." Ana replied and mock curtseyed.

"And would Senora like to have dinner before or after the dance?" Dan joined her in the impromptu role play.

Dan was not a natural dancer and he had been a rather reluctant participant in his daughter's 'crazy notion' –as he called it – of getting him to learn all those complicated dances. For him to actually initiate a session was rare enough that Ana didn't want to let the occasion slip. If they had dinner first she'd have to tell him about the meeting and she had a feeling the mood might be ruined.

"Dance first, but I need to change."

"Ok. You go change and I'll see about the food."

"It smells very good. What are we having?"

"Tacos. I thought it would be appropriate, with the tango and all that."

"Great idea! I won't be long."

Dan had taken the time to prepare a play list with several Spanish songs to dance to and two hours later Ana and Dan collapsed on the couch, breathless from exertion and from the laughter. That's how Emma found them when she arrived home from her own dance lesson.

Her eyes quickly took in the rearranged furniture and her parents' heavy breathing and if that was not enough the Spanish music still playing on repeat confirmed her guess.

"Hey, you have been practising! Can I see?"

"Oh, no. Me dancing is just for birthdays." Said Dan then added with a side glance to his wife "and date nights with your mom."

"C'mon dad, just one."

"Nope. Well, I'm starving. Who's for food?"

"Food sounds good. Thank you for the dancing, that was fun." Said Ana with a smile for Dan.

"Hey you, how was practice?" she said to her daughter

"I can see that I am dismissed then" said Dan. "Very well, I'll go heat up the meat while you two catch up."

With a grunt he stood up and added: "It won't take long, I'll call when it's ready."

When Dan had disappeared into the kitchen Emma asked: "Dad's cooking?"

"Mhm." Ana nodded one hand absentmindedly caressing Emma's long black hair.

"Are you sure that's safe?"

"Emma!" Ana said pretending to be shocked. "It's not nice to make fun of people. Besides he has cooked before."

"True, but not in the middle of the week. And how did you get him to dance? Or did I scare him at Eddy's birthday?"

"He actually offered." Ana said looking towards the kitchen as the unmistakable sound of pots banging against each could now be heard over the music playing in the background. "If you're going to change better do it now. I'm sure he won't appreciate it if you're not ready when he calls."

The sounds of banging pans had stopped and the smell of cooked food was once again filling the apartment. Ana stood from the couch and walked towards the kitchen only to be stopped by Dan in the doorway: "Uh, just another couple of minutes. The meat is almost done. I thought I'd move the furniture back."

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help?" said Ana trying to peek over his shoulder into what was traditionally her territory.

"Nope. I'll let you have all the fun tomorrow, but for now I've got it covered." He said stirring her gently back into the family room.

It didn't take long to move the table, couch and armchair back in the middle of the room. While Ana placed the smaller items back where they belonged Dan called Emma down to dinner and then they were all seated at the table.

"Thank you Dan, this looks fantastic." Said Ana looking over the small pots of dips, the bowls of shredded salad and browned mince, the stack of heated tortillas and the plate of thinly sliced peppers.

"Oh, so that's what Linda was doing here!" exclaimed Emma.

"She helped a little," admitted Dan before sitting down. "Well, go ahead, tuck in."

Making conversation while eating tacos is not easy, but they managed to find out that Dan's boss had found a place in Charlotte that looked like a good investment for a branch shop and was actually quite close to the head office of their biggest customer, a car rental company. "I never quite figured out why they'd come all the way to Rock Hill for the maintenance, but there you go. At least now we'll be close to them." He said.

Emma also had news to share. The dance teacher, Miss Bowles, had agreed to allow some of the changes Emma had suggested and they were now rehearsing those. "I hope you'll like it. It's a bit more complicated than what we have done so far but Miss Bowles thinks it's really good. She said she'll try to get us to perform somewhere public but she'll need the parents to approve. Oh, maybe that's why she wants to talk to you." Emma said looking at Ana.

Careful so her taco didn't crumble, Ana asked "When does she want to talk to me?"

"She just said to ask if you would call her."

"Ok, I'll do that tomorrow morning."

Finally they were done eating and with the three of them helping out, the table was quickly cleared.

"You never said: how was your meeting?" Dan asked

"It was OK, I think. I need to run something by you, get your opinion, but it can wait until after the news."

"I've missed most of them already but I have them on record, I can watch later." Dan said while getting a beer out of the refrigerator and showing it to her. "Want one?"

"No, thanks, I think I'd rather have some water."

"Sparkling?"

At her nod he picked up a bottle and took it and his can of beer to the family room, while Ana followed him with two glasses.

As they sat down the memory of their dance brought a smile to both their faces. Dan shook his head as in disbelief that he had actually done that and then said: "There's something I need to tell you as well." His words rushed as if he wanted to get rid of the message as quickly as possible he continued: "Adam Barnes has called. To prove your identity you'll need your birth certificate, the divorce decree, at least one of the property deeds and one more document with your picture on it. The driver's license is too old, he said. A school year book would do if you have one, and if you are still recognizable in the picture."

After a moment Ana slowly nodded: "I have the high school year book from my senior year, it's in the box." Right under the tape showing Christian and his sub, she didn't add. The reminder was as painful as always and the light mood from before vanished between one breath and the next.

Dan noticed the change in her but he had to tell her the rest. He sighed: "You'll also have to have some proof of residence in Washington State. He suggested you could rent a small apartment and have a utility bill to show. He offered to arrange for that. Finally you'll have to go to Seattle, in person, and apply for a driving license."

As Dan was speaking, the small crease between Ana's eyebrows had deepened to a furrow, but at his last sentence she had to bite her lip to stop it from trembling. The pain of the bite stopped the tears shining in her eyes from falling, but there was nothing she could do about her laboured breathing.

"I can't go to Seattle, Dan." She said and stopped before she dissolved into a mess of hurt and regrets and guilt.

Guilt was also gnawing at Dan for the pain he was causing her with these reminders. And he also had another reason to feel guilty: he didn't want her to go to Seattle either. The fear had grown in him that if she were to connect with her previous life he was going to lose her. He had made a decision to try and make her happy here with him, to try and fill the void in her and chase the ghosts of her past. His voice was rough and full of tension when he told her: "Perhaps we should let that part go. If you're sure that you don't mind, that is."

"But what about the trust fund for Emma and Nick?"

"You still have the cheque. That is more than I could've ever imagined they'd have anyway."

"Ok, thank you." Said Ana, her voice still strained.

"Hey, we're in this together." Said Dan and moved from the armchair to sit closer to her on the couch. "We don't have to do any of that," he continued. "It's just that it would feel so…foolish to let it all go."

"I know. You're right." Ana took a deep breath and slowly released it. "Perhaps even more so than you think." She added.

It was Dan's turn to frown: "What do you mean?"

"After the meeting today, I talked to Stewart, the President of the Board. He asked to speak with me; he needs help with some funding."

Dan didn't like the sound of this but took her hand in his and otherwise remained silent. His instinct had served him well, as she squeezed his hand to gain strength from him before she continued: "Stewart pointed out that things keep happening to me, around me, whenever I needed them to: the $100,000 donation for the library four years ago and now that's changed to $250,000, Castle Heights offering languages after school is a condition for an anonymous grant, the Martial Arts Centre was built with money from Posterus –a private charity. They also paid for, or helped with, restoring Cherry Park and the library among other things. And something Stewart didn't know about: Mrs Dawson's music school conveniently opening just across the street from the library where I couldn't miss seeing it."

"Well, when you put it like that, perhaps it does sound like much, but the language club is for all the students, not just ours, and the Martial Arts Centre is something that had been discussed for a while. Posterus was just one of the charities." Dan stopped rather abruptly.

"I didn't know there was talk about a Martial Arts Centre." Said Ana. "After all that trouble to find a suitable place for Nick to go to, I am pretty sure I'd remember if there were plans to build a proper centre."

Dan smiled at her: "The trouble was because you, my stubborn wife, were dead set on him taking on martial arts and he couldn't make up his mind of what he wanted to do. But you are right, there was no Centre planned then. The talk about the Centre didn't start until a few months after Nick had settled on jujitsu. Do you remember when those boys tried to make trouble for the club?"

"Of course I remember. Nick almost ended up with a police record!"

"Well, yes, until that guy came along and testified that Nick had not been involved and picked up the other boys in the line-up. Wonder what happened to him, he disappeared after the trial." Dan shook his head to shake off the bad memories. "Anyway, after that a private investor approached three of the clubs with the idea of building a centre together. They were going to put down the initial money for the build and the Centre would be run as a co-op paying them rent. They were discussing plans and contracts and had started looking for a space for the building, but it was difficult to get the club owners to agree. After the storm the situation was different: two of the clubs including Nick's were left badly damaged and all of them had lost a lot of customers with people having other things on their mind than karate training."

Ana confirmed with a nod that she knew this much, so Dan continued: "That's when Posterus contacted them. The plans and the contracts where exactly the same as before, the only change was that instead of paying rent to the private investor the Centre would pay rent to the City for the land. As for the investor, the money was now going through a charity so they'd get tax relief for them instead of the rent. So you see, building the Centre was just good business." Dan finished.

"Yes, Dan. And Stewart got his company off the ground building that centre. An all-around win-win business plan."

Dan nodded smiling at her but as she just stared back the smile slowly disappeared from his face and was replaced with a slight frown.

"There are other good business men around." He said

"I know, but…Ray was a good man and a good father to me, but not very worldly or ambitious. Carla, she was mostly concerned with herself. I sort of just grew up, you know: went to school, picked up as much as I could from there and spent my free time as I saw fit. Until I met Grace, Christian's mom, that's the only image I had of parenthood."

Ana had to stop for a moment to push back the sadness and the longing threatening to take over her at the memory of her wonderful mother in law.

"'A musical instrument, a foreign language and a martial art' was her mantra for her children. There were other things, but she had insisted on these three in particular for all her children. We, Christian and I," she clarified, a hint of pink in her cheeks betraying her embarrassment, "had agreed we would do the same for T…Eddy."

Dan let go of her hand and she raised her eyes to look at him. His face was blank, void of expression, his hands folded in his lap.

"I think that in spite of everything he has found a way to make that happen for Eddy." She finished.

Dan was quiet for several minutes, with the same blank expression on his face. When he finally spoke it was to simply remark: "Must be nice to have that kind of money."

"Dan", Ana started but he interrupted her before she could continue.

"I get it. He is Eddy's biological father and he certainly has the means so he did what he felt was needed. I suppose I should just be grateful that he arranged for all of that, but I wish I had known about it, have an opportunity to agree or to choose." Dan stopped his tirade and changed tracks:"How do you feel about this?"

"A little better, I think. I mean knowing that he found a way, that I didn't shut him out completely from Eddy's life, does take away some of the guilt."

"Well, there's that I suppose." Dan conceded. "So how's the rest of the week for you? Anything in particular planned?"

"Board meeting on Monday, so I should prepare for that, but nothing else. Why?"

Dan shrugged: "Just asking."

"And you?" Ana reciprocated recognizing his effort to bring the conversation back to them, to their family.

"Nothing much, just the ordinary. I thought I'd go running again Friday but I should be done by the time Emma gets home."

"Ok. I'll plan for a late dinner."

With a small smile not quite touching his eyes Dan reached for the remote and was soon engrossed in the news and the sports. Ana picked up her book and tried reading but her emotions were still too raw and she could not really concentrate. An hour later Dan surprised her by calling to her: "I think this is one of the shows you watch sometimes."

Indeed it was one of Ana's shows and they spent the rest of the evening each at one end of the couch watching TV and making occasional comments about the show. Watching TV together was not an uncommon way for them to spend an evening, but the prolonged periods of silence, the physical distance and the side glances were new.

**AN:** **Next chapter will be in Seattle, a glimpse into Christian's present day life.**


	16. Summer StormCh 16 The worst kept secrets

**AN: I hope everybody has had a good first week of the year. I'm still getting used to the idea that it's 2015! So here comes a small insight in what's going on in Seattle and Christian's life. **

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 16 The worst kept secrets

Thursday was a beautiful spring day in Seattle, with bright sunshine and not a cloud marring the sky. From the coast line and the tallest buildings the ocean could be seen for miles and the white dots of the sailing boats were the only interruption to the deep blue water stretching to the horizon. None of this however mattered to the man seated in his office on the top floor of the GEH building. With his back turned to the glass window, shielded from the sunshine by the photochromic glass which had automatically adjusted to filter out the glare, Christian was engrossed in work and currently frowning at the agenda for the afternoon meeting with the acquisitions team. When the intercom on his desk buzzed for attention he simply pressed the button and waited for whatever information was deemed important enough to interrupt him.

"Mr Elliot Grey is on his way up, sir."

He released the button and returned his attention to the computer screen, his fingers flying over the keyboard in an attempt to finish his notes before his brother's unexpected visit. He had just pressed save when the door flew open and his brother stepped in, let the door close behind him and plopped down on the white leather sofa.

"Congrats bro, you've managed to piss off Governor Roberts. Again. Honestly, can you give the guy a break? Unlike you, us little people occasionally depend on his good will."

The tall figure of his brother was now half sprawled on the sofa, his feet crossed at the ankles and resting on the polished American walnut of the hand-made Italian coffee table. Luckily for the table and the couch, Elliot's days of muddy boots and dusty coveralls were long gone, now replaced with tailored suits and leather shoes. The feet-on-the-table attitude was reminiscent of those old times though and piqued Christian's curiosity.

"200 million and change is not exactly little people, Elliot. And why do you need the favours of our good governor? I thought the West End deal was already signed and stamped."

Squinting his eyes Elliot considered challenging his brother on how he was so well informed on the affairs of Grey Constructions, but the answer to that question was evident in his surroundings: the king of Seattle was sitting on his leather throne against the back drop of the city sprawled beyond the windows. He sighed and passed his hand through his hair settling for a non-committal: "Some other stuff."

His grey eyes gleaming with amusement Christian leaned his head to one side: "'Stuff', is that a technical term in the construction business?"

"Seriously, Christian. Lay off the guy for a while. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have to listen to a ten minutes rant every time I meet with him?"

"That I do. Is this why you're here? To ask me to lay off the Governor?"

Instead of answering Elliot stood up and walked to the wall to wall window and stared at the vista below him. Christian swivelled his chair and watched his brother with a raised eyebrow. Elliot's visits were not unusual but neither did he come just to admire the view. Elliot turned around and opened his mouth to speak then his eyes landed on the two picture frames on Christian's desk. He pursed his lips and reached out to pick up one of them. Christian's expression went from slightly amused and a little wondering to serious.

"Elliot." He said, the single word a clear warning to his brother.

Elliot put the frame back down but kept his eyes glued to the two people in the picture.

"He looks a lot like you, especially at that age." Elliot said then finally turned his gaze away from the picture, his eyes this time searching his brother's face. "Do you ever regret it, not making contact?"

It was Christian's turn to stand up. Instead of gazing through the windows he went to the book shelf on the right wall and opened the door to the built-in refrigerator. He turned around with two bottles of water and then went to sit on the couch.

"I miss having them in my life but you know why I chose to stay away. What is this about, Elliot?"

Elliot was however not done mulling things over. His eyes darted from the small picture on the table to the large ones framing the door and back. Several seconds passed in silence before he finally moved away from Christian's desk and sat at the opposite end of the couch.

"I went around to Bellevue today. Mom said she and Sam are going shopping for dresses this weekend for some charity ball. She said you'll be taking them both out of town for most of the week, the week after next."

Christian raised an eyebrow to indicate the change of subject had not gone unnoticed but he nodded to indicate his awareness of his mother and daughter's plans. Elliot's eyes lost the faraway look they had held and focused on Christian.

"Does mom know why you're going to Carolina?"

Christian used every ounce of self-control he possessed to not allow the surprise to show on his face and instead assumed a blank expression. In a carefully measured and controlled tone he asked: "What do you mean?"

"That blank poker face of yours doesn't work on me Christian. Does mom know you're going to hand Teddy his degree?"

A hint of anger flashed in Christian's eyes but before he could say anything Elliot raised a hand to stop him.

"I'm married to Kate, Christian. I had her followed a few years ago, you can guess why. Imagine my surprise when I saw her not with a lover but with Ana and her family."

This time Christian's jaw set in a hard line: "You never said anything to me. Does Katherine know?"

"That I know or that you do?" Elliot's voice also held a hint of anger and then his voice lowered and grew softer. "No, she doesn't. I would have had to explain why I had her followed and I was not ready to do that. You obviously already knew where Ana and Teddy were. I did consider whether I should tell you that Kate also knows about them, maybe warn you to be careful if you wanted to keep it a secret, and then I realized: Kate's business trips did not seem to follow any pattern but she was always away on the second of May."

Elliot paused to let the words sink and then added: "And so were you."

The two brothers stared at each other, each one trying to read the other's mind and emotions. Christian broke the silence: "How long have you known?"

"Nine years. I had just found out about Matt, I wanted to have some options."

Christian knew what Elliot meant: the adultery clause in his and Katherine's prenup meant that if Kate found out about Elliot's son and asked for a divorce, unless Elliot could prove she had also cheated, he could lose half of Grey Constructions to her. He took a long sip of his water wondering why Elliot had chosen this particular time to bring this up. Weary of Elliot's peculiar mood he stayed away from direct confrontation and instead he asked: "How do you know about the degree?"

Elliot actually rolled his eyes. "I have been keeping track of him, Christian. I know he goes at USC and guess who the guest speaker is at his graduation? I suppose you are the reason attendance is by invitation only?"

Christian shrugged: "McKenzie insisted."

"So, again, does mom know?"

"Yes, she does. And before you ask I only told her last week."

Elliot looked at his brother wondering just how much that brilliant business mind was clouded by his love for the woman who had broken him and by the longing for the son he had resigned himself to watch from a distance. He had never been able to second guess Christian and this was certainly not going to happen now so he settled for a direct question: "So what's the plan, then?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Christian. Anastasia will never believe your presence there is mere coincidence. So after all these years, and if you still think it was the right decision, why pull the cat out of the proverbial bag?"

Reluctant as always to discuss his motives, Christian's first instinct was to tell Elliot to mind his own business. But something told him Eliot's question was not out of just nosiness. Something was bothering his brother. He could feel it and he could see it in the tension in Elliot's shoulders and the creases around his eyes. Besides, the cat was out of the bag as Elliot had put it.

"Teddy is due to start gaining access to his trust fund the Monday after graduation, so they would have found out that I know where they are anyway."

Elliot looked at Christian and tried to figure out why that statement didn't feel like an answer to his question, and then he realized: "You were going to contact him about his trust fund?"

Both hands now running through his hair, Christian looked away from Elliot and fixed his stare on Ana's portraits by the door: "Not me, but the lawyers will, the Monday after graduation. It's time. He's old enough to be allowed to make his own choices."

With Christian still looking at Ana, Elliot could take a moment to think about this enigma that was his brother. The smartest business man of his generation, he could get a board room to eat out of his hand in no time, charm a roomful of seasoned negotiators or get a bunch of shrewd businessmen to open their wallets to a charitable cause, yet in terms of dealing with his family he seemed completely clueless.

"Christian," he said, "you can't just send him a cheque."

Those clear grey eyes turned to him again.

"Why not?"

"Because he'd hate your guts for it, that's why."

The lack of emotional response from Christian at his provocative statement tipped Elliot that the tidbit of insight he had provided was not news to his brother.

"You have figured that out already, haven't you?"

Christian sighed: Elliot was like a dog with a bone this afternoon.

"Yes, I did. I told Ana. She'll tell him after graduation."

"You spoke with Ana?!" Elliot could not have hidden the astonishment in his voice if he tried.

"No, I wrote her a letter. Elliot, what is this about? You said you went to Bellevue, is everything all right with mom?"

Still shocked by the news that his brother had contacted his ex-wife, Elliot answered a little absentmindedly: "Mom's fine, I just wanted to ask if we could have dinner together this weekend."

"Since when did you get so formal?"

"Not just me, I meant all of us, as a family. It's been a while."

"I see. So what did she say?"

It was Elliot's turn to comb his fingers through his hair and sigh. "She said its fine by her, but that I should ask you."

"Elliot, are you sure it's a good idea?"

"Christian, Kate shouldn't have said what she did, but you know how she gets when anybody criticizes Ava."

"And what does Katherine think about your family dinner idea?"

"I have not told her yet. I wanted to check with you and mom first."

Christian took a moment to consider the pros and cons of having himself, Katherine Kavanaugh-Grey and Grace in the same room for the first time since the aftermath of Ava's eighteen birthday party. It didn't take him long to arrive at the same conclusion as always: Katherine was Elliot's wife. For his brother's sake both he and their mother will be on their best behaviour, pretending to ignore the elephant in the room.

"Ok, Elliot, family dinner it is. But Ros is on vacation this week and over the weekend so next week would work better for me."

"I can't, I'm out of town."

The words themselves were innocent enough but the way Elliot had rushed them out, the way he looked away while he was saying them, alerted Christian that there might be more than just a routine business trip involved. What was the weekend after next? May 22-23..he shook his head. May 21st, of course: Matt's birthday.

"Are you leaving Friday?"

"Thursday evening, actually."

"Elliot, is this about Matt?"

Elliot bend his head considering his answer for a moment. When he looked up again there was determination in his expression and firmness in his voice when he spoke: "We need to talk, Christian. At least I need to talk to you. But not here. Can we meet up later tonight?"

Seriously concerned for his brother, Christian acknowledged with a nod: "Can you come to the house? I should be home by 6-6.30. Dinner's at seven if you are interested."

"Thanks but I have a dinner meeting. I could be around later, maybe ten?"

"Sure, whenever you get there's fine."

Elliot left Christian's office with a new found sense of purpose. His dinner meeting was with his lawyer to once again go through his options and then he and Christian were going to have to talk. Whatever happened next he had to come clean to Kate and to Ava. Somehow he was going to have to get through to his brother that all these secrets they were all keeping were increasingly getting in the way of them interacting with each other.

Inside his office Christian was left with a worried look on his face and a deep frown between his eyebrows. Elliot and Kate's marriage had always been rocky at best but his brother still loved his wife. Yes he had been cheating, repeatedly, but that was not because he didn't love Kate. Merely, Elliot had explained, it was him looking for or just accepting the appreciation, the admiration, Kate was unable to give him. Christian knew that what Elliot really wanted was to have that emotional support from Kate. He had never told Elliot about Kate knowing where Ana and Teddy were to not drive a wedge in their already difficult relationship. But now Elliot had a son and that son was growing up fast. He might have to choose between his wife and his son.

He was hopping that all Elliot wanted was some advice but he feared that what his brother was really after was answers. For all the secrets he had and was still keeping he had never outright lied to his family. There had been a time when he had hoped they would ask the questions so he could answer them, but none of them ever did. So he had let their beliefs stand and had used those beliefs to suit his own purpose. Months, years, of therapy, had brought him to accept that not all of his decisions had been rational, that he had acted out of insecurity and hurt feelings, but what was done was done. To start unravelling the tangled web of secrets would be devastating for all of his family.

The buzz of the intercom interrupted his musings and for once looking at Ana's portraits did not bring him any relief. He let out a long breath and stood up from the couch to press the answer button.

"They are waiting for you in conference room two, Mr Grey."

"Thank you." He said before he released the button, donned his suit jacket and straightened his tie. Family troubles would have to wait. For the next few hours he had to be The Christian Grey.

Elliot's meeting finished earlier than he thought it would and by nine that evening he turned left off Evergreen Point and into the private road that led to Christian's property in Medina. With the Gates and the Bezos living just half an hour of leisurely walk down the road, Medina was used to billionaires keen on privacy and security and that is why Christian had chosen to build his home here. While there were a few other people richer than him in Seattle, owning corporate headquarters that dwarfed Grey House, those were all focused on a single type of business. GEH's business model of mergers and acquisitions meant that about a third of the businesses in Washington State were now or had at some point in the past thirty years been owned by GEH. Most of the rest of them also had dealings with GEH and depended on those dealings for their success. That made Christian the most influential player in Washington State and possibly on the whole West Coast, but it also meant he had more potential enemies than most of the other Seattle billionaires.

Elliot slowed down to allow the security cameras to identify him and then stopped in front of the castiron gate. One suited man he did not recognize was standing by the closed gate.

"Good evening Mr Grey." The man said, his eyes sweeping over the interior of the car.

No cars other than Christian's were allowed on the property. A black SUV, one of Christian's fleet of similar cars, was waiting with the engine running. Familiar with the security protocol Elliot stepped out of his car, nodded to the man and climbed into the SUV. Another 'Good evening Mr Grey' greeted him, this time from the driver of the SUV and the gates finally swung open and the vehicle started the slow drive on the purposefully twisting and turning driveway to the house.

The first building to come into view was a modern, glass walled construction that was backed against the forest and housed the grand dining room with seating for twenty people, two salons, a conference room and an industrial size kitchen as well as half a dozen bathrooms and several sleeping rooms on the upper floor. A covered walkway ran along the front of the building and when the weather permitted the glass walls could be opened transforming the area into an extension of the space inside. The magnificent view of lake Washington slightly below the level of the building added to the impression of dominance, of space and lack of boundaries. For most of Christian's guests, this was where the journey would end. The SUV however took Elliot past the formal building, down to the family home built closer to the waterfront. The car stopped in front of the three stone steps leading to the covered entrance and the wooden door.

"The door is open; Mr Grey is in the library and is expecting you." His driver informed him.

Elliot thanked the security guard and entered the 14'' by 20'' foyer of what Christian had deemed a 'small family home'. As Elliot had built the house he was intimately familiar with the layout: the only space that was the size of a room in a small family home was the walk-in closet in Christian's bedroom and he had two of those.

"Honey, I'm home!" he shouted letting the door close behind him and turning to the right where the door to the library stood open.

He had not registered the sound of voices until his flippant greeting produced a deafening silence followed by giggles. He stopped and turned to face the door to the music room, opposite the library, just as Samantha Grey appeared in the doorway. Tall with gleaming green eyes, her jet black hair in a side braid from which her bangs seemed to have escaped and were now framing her face, dressed in a white top and black trousers, she was moving towards him with long steps and a kind of fluid grace which reminded him of his brother.

"Uncle Elliot! How nice to see you, dad didn't say you were coming."

"Nice to see you too Princess. Let me look at you. You are as beautiful as ever."

"Thank you. How are you? I'm sorry I have not been around much lately. School has been really busy."

Elliot's eyes were drawn to movement behind his niece were two other teenagers had appeared. Sam looked over her shoulder and let go of one of his hands to waive in the direction of the music room.

"Reagan and Doyle, my classmates. Reagan, Doyle, this is my uncle Elliot."

During murmured 'good evenings' Elliot's eyes darted around the foyer which had looked empty and upwards towards the top of the curved staircase. One concession Christian had made to enforce the 'family home' idea was that as soon as Christian arrived in the evening all the staff left the house and he and Samantha were supposed to manage by themselves. But with guests present, even teenage school mates, the rule was that security will be around. Elliot's roaming gaze finally found what he was looking for: standing two steps behind the bannister on the top floor, the black suit of a security guard, hands behind his back and eyes trained on the group of people now assembled in the foyer.

Samantha had noticed his wondering gaze and looked up as well. She simply smiled at the guard who replied with a nod, then turned her attention back towards her uncle: "Will you be staying for a little while? We are almost finished with our homework and I can join you."

"I'm sorry Sam, maybe another time. I need to talk to your dad for a while and then I should be going."

"Oh, all right, but I'll hold you to that. You still owe me a rematch." Samantha said while jutting her chin towards the room behind them.

Elliot half turned to see his brother standing a few steps into the room, arms crossed across his chest, his mouth curved in a small smile.

"You'll never live that one down, you know that, don't you?" Christian said approaching them.

"Ok, Ok." Said Elliot raising his hands in surrender. "Tennis game it is. As soon as I can make it, I promise."

"I'll hold you to it." Sam said with a smile and then turned towards her friends: "C'mon guys, let's finish this."

As the teenagers left their sight the smiles on the brother's faces slowly faded and tension returned to their back muscles. Christian stepped aside to let his brother into the library but Elliot hesitated. With a look towards the music room he said: "I think somewhere more private would be better."

**AN Next chapter: the talk between the Grey brothers and a little surprise twist at the end. **


End file.
